Wow
Im sitting here enjoying a glas of pino noir and munching on some pizza, nursing a bit of a hangover, not too bad though, reflecting on the last 24 hours......
It really sucks to be right sometimes, I thought and even wished I had been wrong but I wasnt. People suck, we all know that but there are people that we dont think we have to be guarded with. Sometimes we give people far too much credit and we forget that people arent always what they seem.
For all of my faults, which are numerous, there are certain lines that dont get crossed, especially among select company. I am ruled by selfish motivations just as much as the next man, the diffrence is that I admit it, I am honest with people and I have some concern for the feelings of my friends. While I am of course furious at what I have been put through, the decietful, childish, self-serving games of people hell bent on being the worst people they possibly can be, showing a weakness of character that no matter how much of an asshole I may be, I could never hope to attain, I at the same time, pity these people. I say that because behaviour like this undermines the meaning of what people claimed to believe in. I feel sorry for these people because all they have managed to do is illustrate that they really dont understand the things they participate in, I cant imagine what that would be like, to really be that much of a coward and have that little conviction. For all the things I am and all of the ways I have failed, I am not a liar, I am not a decietful person, I am not a man who preaches to others while coveting the things I do not have or betrays a friend and tries to force oters to be complicit in those actions and I am not a man wo would use a beautiful thing as a weapon against someone I called my brother.
Its amazing to me how people can rationalize some things to themselves when they are very well aware of what they have done. before I had some responsibility in what went down, this time I was forced into a situation that I tried to avoid, at least n this I know that I did nothing to cause or deserve this and I am a far better person than the others involved, which is strange as I am not the best person in the worrld by any means.
My guts told me that I was right, they told me what was really gong on and they were right all along. Maybe the blame should rest with me as I wanted so badly to believe some people were actually decent, upstanding human beings but it stil raises the question....
Et Tu Brute? (Ive been drinking excuse my spelling)
for once Karma may actually be on my side.............
It really sucks to be right sometimes, I thought and even wished I had been wrong but I wasnt. People suck, we all know that but there are people that we dont think we have to be guarded with. Sometimes we give people far too much credit and we forget that people arent always what they seem.
For all of my faults, which are numerous, there are certain lines that dont get crossed, especially among select company. I am ruled by selfish motivations just as much as the next man, the diffrence is that I admit it, I am honest with people and I have some concern for the feelings of my friends. While I am of course furious at what I have been put through, the decietful, childish, self-serving games of people hell bent on being the worst people they possibly can be, showing a weakness of character that no matter how much of an asshole I may be, I could never hope to attain, I at the same time, pity these people. I say that because behaviour like this undermines the meaning of what people claimed to believe in. I feel sorry for these people because all they have managed to do is illustrate that they really dont understand the things they participate in, I cant imagine what that would be like, to really be that much of a coward and have that little conviction. For all the things I am and all of the ways I have failed, I am not a liar, I am not a decietful person, I am not a man who preaches to others while coveting the things I do not have or betrays a friend and tries to force oters to be complicit in those actions and I am not a man wo would use a beautiful thing as a weapon against someone I called my brother.
Its amazing to me how people can rationalize some things to themselves when they are very well aware of what they have done. before I had some responsibility in what went down, this time I was forced into a situation that I tried to avoid, at least n this I know that I did nothing to cause or deserve this and I am a far better person than the others involved, which is strange as I am not the best person in the worrld by any means.
My guts told me that I was right, they told me what was really gong on and they were right all along. Maybe the blame should rest with me as I wanted so badly to believe some people were actually decent, upstanding human beings but it stil raises the question....
Et Tu Brute? (Ive been drinking excuse my spelling)
for once Karma may actually be on my side.............