The Van Lives!!! and subsequently dies.

[marklar0128]

Its the starter. Its my life. I just can't get it started. It's like rain. OK, its more like snow. I realized several things while stranded on the road last night. The first is that I have incredibly intense swings in my spiritual state. One any single moment I can feel as though I am completely bereft of a soul. No energy that flows

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HEADLINE

[marklar0128]

Men who lactate from their nose and the women who love them. These seemingly normal men have an embarrassing secret; they produce milk from their nostrils. In a sort of strange twist of fate, women seem to be drawn to this secret society of milking manfolk. These dairy dames can't keep from throwing what seems to be girly hissy fits over milk squirting men. Some women are insisting that their men get surgery, not to stop this from happening, but to enlarge the nose from which this creamy substance flows. Men, eager to win the praise of these milk maids, are rushing off to get rhino-enhancement surgery. What will be next?!? The jewish community is coming out against proboscis enhancement, saying that you should stay the way that god intended. Micheal Jackson is scurrying to find his original nose which he insists has been kept cryogenically frozen in a Bob's Big Boy statue orbiting the earth.
In shocking new news, a counter movement of men who call themselves "menamists" have come out against nose enlargement. This highly militant group insists that a man's worth is determined by his talents, abilities and strength of character, not by his huge bulbous lactating nose. This reporter begs to disagree. While the menamists are gaining a foothold in some social circle, we all know that the way for a man to get recognized, is through is young, firm, cream filled sniffer.
This is Marklar Marklar saying goodnight. Goodnight.