Coasting
Yes believe it or not I'm writing again. I know it's been awhile. Okay, a long while, nearly 9 months. But tonight I'm bored again and for some reason I feel compelled to ramble about some stuff so here it goes.
Just generally lately I've felt like I'm just coasting through life, just going through the motions. You know? I go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep... etc. True nothing really bad is happening, but nothing exceptionally good either. I mean I have a nice apartment, a good job, money, and nice things. But money and posessions don't leave me feeling fulfilled at the end of the day. I just have no one to hang out with here on a regular basis. And I'm not the most sociable person around so it's hard for me to meet new people. Which sometimes leaves me questioning the wisdom of me even moving here in the first place :-/ I was really thinking about that when I was just recently back in Rochester for the 4th of July weekend. I hung out with my RIT friends every night when I was there. For those few days I actually felt like I had a life, and just, generally better about myself. Yeah I've gotten some visits since I've been here but they have been far and few between. So yeah, I gotta do something about it. But what? I need to figure something out. I can't go much longer like this, it's killing me. One thing I have done is, well it doesn't start till September, but I joined up with the NYC chapter of the Bills Backers and I do plan on going to the bar where they meet to watch the games, definite potential for meeting people there. So there is some source of optimisim there. Also it's looking pretty likely that my brother is going to take the job at the company I work at. So at least I can hang out with him now.
Now another big issue: women. It's been almost 2 years since I've so much as touched a girl (no I'm not gay I swear). And it reallllly gets to me sometimes, and it's really been hurting my confidence, which wasn't that high to begin with haha. So this is something I need to do something about too. I have been trying Match.com, and I have actually put a good deal of time and effort into that. I have revised my description of myself and what I'm looking for countless times. But no matter what I do no one seems interested. I mean I find women on there I want to contact, so I try to contect them, and pretty much none reply. Which leaves me wondering all these things. Am I that ugly? Is there something fundamentally unlikeable/unattractive about me? What is it??? ahhhhhhh. I dunno what to do. Maybe the online dating sites isn't the way to go. But I dunno what else to do, like I said earlier it's tough for me to meet people. I really wish I was just normal sometimes haha.
Well I think that's all for now. Sorry it couldn't be more cheery. But I'll be okay eventually I think. Just have a lot of "me work" to do in the meantime.
Just generally lately I've felt like I'm just coasting through life, just going through the motions. You know? I go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep... etc. True nothing really bad is happening, but nothing exceptionally good either. I mean I have a nice apartment, a good job, money, and nice things. But money and posessions don't leave me feeling fulfilled at the end of the day. I just have no one to hang out with here on a regular basis. And I'm not the most sociable person around so it's hard for me to meet new people. Which sometimes leaves me questioning the wisdom of me even moving here in the first place :-/ I was really thinking about that when I was just recently back in Rochester for the 4th of July weekend. I hung out with my RIT friends every night when I was there. For those few days I actually felt like I had a life, and just, generally better about myself. Yeah I've gotten some visits since I've been here but they have been far and few between. So yeah, I gotta do something about it. But what? I need to figure something out. I can't go much longer like this, it's killing me. One thing I have done is, well it doesn't start till September, but I joined up with the NYC chapter of the Bills Backers and I do plan on going to the bar where they meet to watch the games, definite potential for meeting people there. So there is some source of optimisim there. Also it's looking pretty likely that my brother is going to take the job at the company I work at. So at least I can hang out with him now.
Now another big issue: women. It's been almost 2 years since I've so much as touched a girl (no I'm not gay I swear). And it reallllly gets to me sometimes, and it's really been hurting my confidence, which wasn't that high to begin with haha. So this is something I need to do something about too. I have been trying Match.com, and I have actually put a good deal of time and effort into that. I have revised my description of myself and what I'm looking for countless times. But no matter what I do no one seems interested. I mean I find women on there I want to contact, so I try to contect them, and pretty much none reply. Which leaves me wondering all these things. Am I that ugly? Is there something fundamentally unlikeable/unattractive about me? What is it??? ahhhhhhh. I dunno what to do. Maybe the online dating sites isn't the way to go. But I dunno what else to do, like I said earlier it's tough for me to meet people. I really wish I was just normal sometimes haha.
Well I think that's all for now. Sorry it couldn't be more cheery. But I'll be okay eventually I think. Just have a lot of "me work" to do in the meantime.