Star Trek Curmudgeonry Follows...
Okay, so it seems everybody I know either liked the movie or loved the movie, and most seem willing to overlook "a few flaws" just for the sake of having another chapter in the well-worn franchise.
The problem with that sort of thinking is: when you'll settle for drivel, be prepared to get nothing but...
In the interest of fairness, I should point out that I don't have a fanatical loyalty to Star Trek. I watched TOS fanatically as a kid, as well as any other damn thing that was remotely SF, because there just wasn't a lot of it around. And what SF there was, was mostly bad. So when there was something that was remotely good in those days I jumped on it. I liked Next Generation, but didn't hang around the television waiting for the next ep. By the time DS9 came along, I kind of lost interest in the Trek universe. I did like what they did with the first couple of Star Trek movies, but again after a while I lost interest. And I think there's a reason.
Somewhere through the years, there was a point at which we could see--yea demand--pretty high quality SF media. I personally think that the best of that period was the original Star Wars. It was well done, entertaining, and the effects literally gave birth to all of the CG effects we now can't live without. During this period we began to feel we didn't need to see and love everything in the genre.
What has happened in recent years--and don't ask me when this occured--is that SF has become mainstream. And there's the rub. Most of the action/adventure movies lately are SF. And many of them are bad. And almost all of them get an “F” in sixth grade science, because the writers-and the mainstream audience-don't know jack about sixth grade science. So we come to the current state of action/adventure movie-making: more explosions=better movie; longer and more improbable fight scenes=better movie. Have to trash the physical laws of the universe in a really obvious way without any reasonable explanation, just because the writers are too lazy to come up with something creative? No problemo.
But this is about the recent Star Trek movie, remember? So what is my problem with it?
Hello...There Is Nothing New Here!! I'm a fan because SF is supposed to be the genre of new ideas. "New life and new civilizations." This movie is about as formulaic as any “B” action/adventure movie that has come down in the last twenty years. Just because there's all of our favorite characters doesn't forgive sticking them in some half-assed retread with the same old plot devices, the same villains, the same cornball dialogue-even the same spiky spaceships!
And just frakking with the timeline/universe doesn't count as a new idea. Comic books have been doing that for 50 years.
I'm not an expert in Trek canon, but since when does Star Trek have ewoks?!? For the love of God! And how come the plot relies on two-count 'em-ships surviving a trip through a singularity, but...how does the bad guy meet his end? Yep, gets suck into a singularity. Where are the mile deep canyons in Iowa? Having spaceships go “swoosh” in the vacuum of space wasn't enough for these guys-now when a star ship goes into warp it goes “POW!” Space just gets louder all the time.
A bunch of miners (J. J. Abrams really has a weird thing for miners, don't ya think?) in a mining ship kick the asses of the entire Federation. Man, mining became seriously weapon-intensive in a hundred years or so. And there was this whole Federation fleet floating around--including the freaking flagship--with no experienced crews on board? I forget the really good explanation they came up with...the admiral's son's bar mitzvah, maybe? I guess in this universe Pearl Harbor had never happened. And y'know, the first five times somebody pulled a long sword out of a scabbard on their back in a movie it looked pretty cool. But in the last twenty or so movies since then it kind of lost the effect.
Oh, and you can re-enter the atmosphere of a planet in a regular space suit-okay, so it's a “special” space suit-with no means of slowing down but a parachute?!? Really?
My disbelief feels like Richard Harris in “A Man Called Horse.”
This movie could do with a bit less “red matter” and a bit more gray matter. And I'm exhausted from wading through all the brown matter.
But it seems there are lots of Trek fans who are just happy to have more Trek. Well, you have to be impressed with that kind of loyalty.
The problem with that sort of thinking is: when you'll settle for drivel, be prepared to get nothing but...
In the interest of fairness, I should point out that I don't have a fanatical loyalty to Star Trek. I watched TOS fanatically as a kid, as well as any other damn thing that was remotely SF, because there just wasn't a lot of it around. And what SF there was, was mostly bad. So when there was something that was remotely good in those days I jumped on it. I liked Next Generation, but didn't hang around the television waiting for the next ep. By the time DS9 came along, I kind of lost interest in the Trek universe. I did like what they did with the first couple of Star Trek movies, but again after a while I lost interest. And I think there's a reason.
Somewhere through the years, there was a point at which we could see--yea demand--pretty high quality SF media. I personally think that the best of that period was the original Star Wars. It was well done, entertaining, and the effects literally gave birth to all of the CG effects we now can't live without. During this period we began to feel we didn't need to see and love everything in the genre.
What has happened in recent years--and don't ask me when this occured--is that SF has become mainstream. And there's the rub. Most of the action/adventure movies lately are SF. And many of them are bad. And almost all of them get an “F” in sixth grade science, because the writers-and the mainstream audience-don't know jack about sixth grade science. So we come to the current state of action/adventure movie-making: more explosions=better movie; longer and more improbable fight scenes=better movie. Have to trash the physical laws of the universe in a really obvious way without any reasonable explanation, just because the writers are too lazy to come up with something creative? No problemo.
But this is about the recent Star Trek movie, remember? So what is my problem with it?
Hello...There Is Nothing New Here!! I'm a fan because SF is supposed to be the genre of new ideas. "New life and new civilizations." This movie is about as formulaic as any “B” action/adventure movie that has come down in the last twenty years. Just because there's all of our favorite characters doesn't forgive sticking them in some half-assed retread with the same old plot devices, the same villains, the same cornball dialogue-even the same spiky spaceships!
And just frakking with the timeline/universe doesn't count as a new idea. Comic books have been doing that for 50 years.
I'm not an expert in Trek canon, but since when does Star Trek have ewoks?!? For the love of God! And how come the plot relies on two-count 'em-ships surviving a trip through a singularity, but...how does the bad guy meet his end? Yep, gets suck into a singularity. Where are the mile deep canyons in Iowa? Having spaceships go “swoosh” in the vacuum of space wasn't enough for these guys-now when a star ship goes into warp it goes “POW!” Space just gets louder all the time.
A bunch of miners (J. J. Abrams really has a weird thing for miners, don't ya think?) in a mining ship kick the asses of the entire Federation. Man, mining became seriously weapon-intensive in a hundred years or so. And there was this whole Federation fleet floating around--including the freaking flagship--with no experienced crews on board? I forget the really good explanation they came up with...the admiral's son's bar mitzvah, maybe? I guess in this universe Pearl Harbor had never happened. And y'know, the first five times somebody pulled a long sword out of a scabbard on their back in a movie it looked pretty cool. But in the last twenty or so movies since then it kind of lost the effect.
Oh, and you can re-enter the atmosphere of a planet in a regular space suit-okay, so it's a “special” space suit-with no means of slowing down but a parachute?!? Really?
My disbelief feels like Richard Harris in “A Man Called Horse.”
This movie could do with a bit less “red matter” and a bit more gray matter. And I'm exhausted from wading through all the brown matter.
But it seems there are lots of Trek fans who are just happy to have more Trek. Well, you have to be impressed with that kind of loyalty.