(no subject)
SO THIS IS ME RESORTING TO LIVEJOURNAL TO RELEASE ALL THAT IS BUILT UP IN MY HEAD.
//FIRST OF ALL, TODAY WAS A PERFECT DAY OUTSIDE. &AS A RESULT, MY DAY WAS WONDERFUL. I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN A BETTER MOOD. IF EVERY DAY WERE LIKE TODAY, THERE WOULD BE NO EXCUSES FOR BAD MOODS.
//I GOT A NEW BED THIS SATURDAY &IT HAS BEEN THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME SINCE I GOT MY CAR. I HAVE NOT WOKEN UP WITH BACK PAIN AT ALL YET; I CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS ABLE TO WAKE UP BACK-PAIN FREE. I ACTUALLY GET EXCITED TO GO TO BED SO THAT I CAN LAY ON IT. PLUS, I HAVE BEEN HAVING GOOD DREAMS ON IT TOO ;) HAH.
//MY MOM IS OUT OF TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS &I HATE REALIZING HOW MUCH I TAKE HER FOR GRANTED. I GET SO USED TO HAVING HERE THERE TO CALL EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL, COOKING ME DINNER, &MAKING SURE MY OUTFIT FOR THE NEXT DAY IS A GOOD PICK. I MISS HER.
//I WANT TO FEEL BUTTERFLIES AGAIN. I HAVE NOT FELT BUTTERFLIES IN A LONG TIME. I GOT THEM TODAY WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS &I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW CUTE THEY FEEL. BUTTERFLIES ARE JUST A WAY OF REMINDING ME THAT I AM FEELING SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?
//I REALLY MISS JASON. NOT IN THE I MISS HIM OH HE WAS SO CUTE OH I WANT TO DATE HIM AGAIN WAY, BUT IN THE REAL KIND OF WAY... THE JASON I HAVE KNOWN SINCE 8TH GRADE WHO HAS GROWN UP WITH ME &PUT UP WITH ME &LISTENED TO ME &LOOKED OUT FOR ME. I CAN LET MY GUARD DOWN WHEN I AM AROUND HIM. HE HAS A WAY OF MAKING ME FORGET ABOUT THE BAD THINGS. I WISH OUR SCHEDULES DID NOT COLLIDE AS MUCH.
//LAST YEAR I WENT THROUGH A PHASE WHERE I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK &I AM BACK IN THAT PHASE. SOMETIME IN MY SPARE TIME (IF THERE IS SUCH A THING) I WANT TO PUT TOGETHER A BOOK. I WANT TO INCLUDE QUOTES FROM FRIENDS AND PEOPLE I KNOW &JUST MY THOUGHTS &FEELINGS &OBSERVATIONS. NOT FOR A PARTICULAR REASON BUT JUST TO GET IT OUT THERE &ON PAPER.
//I AM WORKING ON SOME THINGS WITH MYSELF THIS YEAR &ONE OF THOSE IS LEARNING HOW TO GO WITH THE FLOW. I AM SO STRUCTURED SOMETIMES THAT I FREAK WHEN THINGS DO NOT GO ACCORDING TO PLAN SO I AM WORKING ON BEING MORE FLEXIBLE. I GET SO WORKED UP OVER NOTHING. I AM WORKING ON LETTING THINGS GO. IF IT IS MEANT TO HAPPEN OR MEANT TO BE DONE, IT WILL.
//HELEN NORTHCUTT IS THE MOST SOLID PERSON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. IF YOU READ THIS, I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN TO ME. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE EVER MET THAT I COULD SPEND LONG AMOUNTS OF TIME WITH &NOT GET IRRITATED WITH IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT. THAT MAY SOUND LIKE NOTHING, BUT THAT IS HUGE FOR ME. AS MUSHY AND DIKISH AS THIS SOUNDS, YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE THE BEST KELLY I CAN BE BECAUSE YOU KNOW I AM CAPABLE OF IT.
//I THINK I AM PUSHING TOO HARD TO FIND A GUY TO OCCUPY ME WITH. I THINK I LIKE THE IDEA OF HAVING A GUY AROUND BETTER THAN ACTUALLY HAVING ONE. I LIKE THE IDEA OF HAVING SOMEONE FEEL THE SAME ABOUT ME &HAVING SOMEONE TO RELY ON, BUT I AM PUSHING TOO HARD. I REALLY ENJOY BEING SINGLE SO WHY NOT LET THAT BE? PLUS I AM A LOAD &I DO NOT KNOW BUT A COUPLE GUYS THAT CAN HANDLE ME.
//I DECIDED TODAY THAT I WANT TO CUT MY HAIR SHORT AGAIN. I AM NOT SURE HOW SHORT BUT I WANT IT SPUNKY &FUN AGAIN LIKE IT WAS A YEAR AGO. MY MOM TOLD ME THAT SINCE IT WAS SUCH A DRASTIC DECISION, I SHOULD WAIT A FEW DAYS TO SEE IF IT WEARS OFF HAH.
"I've already decided I'm just saving up a ton of money and I am not working this summer; I refuse to. This is our last year to be dumb. Because I mean, you can't spend a night at wal mart once you get into college or jump into a lake the day after new years. People get less fun as they get older. From now on, if I want to do something that sounds fun, I will. "
-Clint Smith
//FIRST OF ALL, TODAY WAS A PERFECT DAY OUTSIDE. &AS A RESULT, MY DAY WAS WONDERFUL. I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN A BETTER MOOD. IF EVERY DAY WERE LIKE TODAY, THERE WOULD BE NO EXCUSES FOR BAD MOODS.
//I GOT A NEW BED THIS SATURDAY &IT HAS BEEN THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME SINCE I GOT MY CAR. I HAVE NOT WOKEN UP WITH BACK PAIN AT ALL YET; I CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS ABLE TO WAKE UP BACK-PAIN FREE. I ACTUALLY GET EXCITED TO GO TO BED SO THAT I CAN LAY ON IT. PLUS, I HAVE BEEN HAVING GOOD DREAMS ON IT TOO ;) HAH.
//MY MOM IS OUT OF TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS &I HATE REALIZING HOW MUCH I TAKE HER FOR GRANTED. I GET SO USED TO HAVING HERE THERE TO CALL EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL, COOKING ME DINNER, &MAKING SURE MY OUTFIT FOR THE NEXT DAY IS A GOOD PICK. I MISS HER.
//I WANT TO FEEL BUTTERFLIES AGAIN. I HAVE NOT FELT BUTTERFLIES IN A LONG TIME. I GOT THEM TODAY WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS &I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW CUTE THEY FEEL. BUTTERFLIES ARE JUST A WAY OF REMINDING ME THAT I AM FEELING SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?
//I REALLY MISS JASON. NOT IN THE I MISS HIM OH HE WAS SO CUTE OH I WANT TO DATE HIM AGAIN WAY, BUT IN THE REAL KIND OF WAY... THE JASON I HAVE KNOWN SINCE 8TH GRADE WHO HAS GROWN UP WITH ME &PUT UP WITH ME &LISTENED TO ME &LOOKED OUT FOR ME. I CAN LET MY GUARD DOWN WHEN I AM AROUND HIM. HE HAS A WAY OF MAKING ME FORGET ABOUT THE BAD THINGS. I WISH OUR SCHEDULES DID NOT COLLIDE AS MUCH.
//LAST YEAR I WENT THROUGH A PHASE WHERE I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK &I AM BACK IN THAT PHASE. SOMETIME IN MY SPARE TIME (IF THERE IS SUCH A THING) I WANT TO PUT TOGETHER A BOOK. I WANT TO INCLUDE QUOTES FROM FRIENDS AND PEOPLE I KNOW &JUST MY THOUGHTS &FEELINGS &OBSERVATIONS. NOT FOR A PARTICULAR REASON BUT JUST TO GET IT OUT THERE &ON PAPER.
//I AM WORKING ON SOME THINGS WITH MYSELF THIS YEAR &ONE OF THOSE IS LEARNING HOW TO GO WITH THE FLOW. I AM SO STRUCTURED SOMETIMES THAT I FREAK WHEN THINGS DO NOT GO ACCORDING TO PLAN SO I AM WORKING ON BEING MORE FLEXIBLE. I GET SO WORKED UP OVER NOTHING. I AM WORKING ON LETTING THINGS GO. IF IT IS MEANT TO HAPPEN OR MEANT TO BE DONE, IT WILL.
//HELEN NORTHCUTT IS THE MOST SOLID PERSON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. IF YOU READ THIS, I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN TO ME. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE EVER MET THAT I COULD SPEND LONG AMOUNTS OF TIME WITH &NOT GET IRRITATED WITH IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT. THAT MAY SOUND LIKE NOTHING, BUT THAT IS HUGE FOR ME. AS MUSHY AND DIKISH AS THIS SOUNDS, YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE THE BEST KELLY I CAN BE BECAUSE YOU KNOW I AM CAPABLE OF IT.
//I THINK I AM PUSHING TOO HARD TO FIND A GUY TO OCCUPY ME WITH. I THINK I LIKE THE IDEA OF HAVING A GUY AROUND BETTER THAN ACTUALLY HAVING ONE. I LIKE THE IDEA OF HAVING SOMEONE FEEL THE SAME ABOUT ME &HAVING SOMEONE TO RELY ON, BUT I AM PUSHING TOO HARD. I REALLY ENJOY BEING SINGLE SO WHY NOT LET THAT BE? PLUS I AM A LOAD &I DO NOT KNOW BUT A COUPLE GUYS THAT CAN HANDLE ME.
//I DECIDED TODAY THAT I WANT TO CUT MY HAIR SHORT AGAIN. I AM NOT SURE HOW SHORT BUT I WANT IT SPUNKY &FUN AGAIN LIKE IT WAS A YEAR AGO. MY MOM TOLD ME THAT SINCE IT WAS SUCH A DRASTIC DECISION, I SHOULD WAIT A FEW DAYS TO SEE IF IT WEARS OFF HAH.
"I've already decided I'm just saving up a ton of money and I am not working this summer; I refuse to. This is our last year to be dumb. Because I mean, you can't spend a night at wal mart once you get into college or jump into a lake the day after new years. People get less fun as they get older. From now on, if I want to do something that sounds fun, I will. "
-Clint Smith