the edge of becoming
PG-13, Stiles/Derek, 1050-ish words
Established relationship, evolved!Derek, miscommunication, jumping to conclusions, sneakiness
For
simplyn2deep who requested "one surprising the other with a visit when they thought it wasn't going to happen until days/weeks/months later"
Want to claim your own day on the Advent Calendar?
Comment here!
Derek didn't need to be in the same room as Stiles to know when he wasn't being truthful. He didn't call Stiles on it, though. Instead, he said, "When do you go back to school?"
"Uh. Tuesday? Dad's driving back," Stiles replied, sounding distant.
Derek was freaking out.
He did it quietly, pacing back and forth in the loft as he clenched and unclenched his fingers. His mind raced in a way it hadn't in years, since before he had full control over his shift and he became a different person. Happy, he dared to say when people asked.
It was a hard-fought battle that he felt he'd come out the other side as the victor.
Stiles wasn't part of that fight, no. That was all Derek and he kept the feeling of pride in himself tucked away for the most part. Old habits and all that.
Stiles came after the fight when Derek could accept good things in his life again. And Stiles was absolutely one of those things. As annoying and frustrating and irritating as he was he was also giving and encouraging and relentless in everything he did. He drove Derek to the edge and pulled him back to safety.
He loved Stiles and that's why he was freaking out.
"Hey, what's up?"
Stiles' voice sounded weird when he picked up.
"Just seeing how things are with your grandma," Derek said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped the top, chucking it onto the counter.
"Uh, it's... different."
Derek paused. "Different?"
Stiles hesitated, making a couple noises before sighing. "It's just hard to talk, is all."
Derek didn't need to be in the same room as Stiles to know when he wasn't being truthful. He didn't call Stiles on it, though. Instead, he said, "When do you go back to school?"
"Uh. Tuesday? Dad's driving back," Stiles replied, sounding distant. In the background Derek could hear strange noises and voices, things that didn't sound like Stiles' grandmother's house the other times they'd spoken over Christmas. "I mean, we're driving back."
"Stiles, are you okay?" Derek asked seriously. There was some shuffling on Stiles' end of the call and Derek could tell Stiles' hand was over the phone. Derek strained to hear and caught the sound of laughter and a clinking noise. "Stiles!"
"Wha? Sorry, Derek! Yes, I'm okay. I swear."
"Are you at a party?" Derek asked, growing more concerned by the second.
Stiles snorted. "No, but I wish I was. I--" Stiles cut himself off by covering the phone again and Derek was officially worried. "Derek, I gotta go. I'm sorry! I'll talk to you soon, love you!"
Before Derek could reply the line disconnected and he was left staring at his phone in the middle of his loft.
***
Derek wanted to spend Christmas with Stiles, their first. Unfortunately, it was the Stilinski's year to visit the Sheriff's mother in Oregon. They tried to meet up for the few hours between Stiles arriving home from college and leaving with his father until the new year but Derek was out of town on official pack business with Scott.
At every turn Derek's plans for the holiday seemed to point, well. He didn't want to think about it.
"Easier said than done," he muttered to himself hours after his call with Stiles. He spent Christmas at the McCalls and enjoyed his time with the pack. He Facetimed with Cora and spoke with a couple pack members from New York that he and Laura stayed with after the fire. Other than that his time was spent reading, working out and texting with Stiles.
Stiles who seemed to be having a lot of fun without him. Too much fun?
Derek shook his head and turned on some music, cranking it up so it drowned out the dark side of his mind. He pulled things from his fridge and freezer at random and started cooking, doing whatever he could to stay calm and in control. His wolf was restless and unhappy but Derek couldn't do anything about it.
He continued on determinedly, unsure of what he was making but sure he wouldn't care what it tasted like in the end anyway. He was frying up some veggies and watching the steam roll off the pan as he flipped them easily.
"That's a neat trick."
Derek dropped the pan to the stove top with a clatter and spun around, a growl caught in his throat. His claws were out by instinct and he could feel his fangs descending as his gaze fell on Stiles.
Stiles who looked exhausted standing inside the doorway with a duffle bag over one shoulder. Stiles who had a soft smile on his lips. Stiles who smelled of relief and happiness.
Derek grabbed the remote for the sound system and shut the music off abruptly. He turned to Stiles with a wary expression.
"What are you doing here?"
Stiles opened his mouth, then stopped and looked unsure of himself. "Should I not be here? I thought we could spend New Year's together?" he asked slowly.
Derek felt like he couldn't take a full breath. "I thought..."
"What?"
"When you called it sounded like you... I don't know. Stupid things," Derek replied haltingly.
Stiles' eyes widened as he dropped his bag to the floor, then he crossed the loft to Derek in an instant, stopping short in front of him. He didn't touch Derek but he was as close as he could get without.
"I was in the airport. A tiny airport with tiny planes that scare the absolute shit out of me."
"Why?" Derek asked quietly, searching Stiles' eyes. "You hate flying."
"Yeah, but I love you." Derek's breath hitched in his throat and he blinked slowly as a grin spread slowly across Stiles' face. "Did you really think--"
"Shut up," Derek cut him off gruffly and pulled him the rest of the way to him, wrapping his arms around Stiles and holding him tight. Stiles sighed into Derek's shoulder and Derek felt his whole body relax, tension easing away.
"Sorry," Derek whispered against the side of Stiles' head.
Stiles slid his hands up Derek's back, over his neck in the possessive way he knew Derek secretly liked, then buried his fingers in Derek's hair. Holding him still Stiles pulled back enough to look Derek in the eye.
"Prove it," he challenged softly. He stepped back slowly a couple steps, then took off for the bedroom, letting out a wild laugh.
And once again Derek felt himself being pulled back from the edge.