(no subject)
my mom was kinda suprised today. she asked me if i had told my grandfather "i love you" yesterday when we went to go see him...i told her of course and he told me he loved me too...long pause...she asks "he did, he told you he loved you?"...i just stared and said "yeeeess..?....why was he not supposed to or something?"...she looks at me and says..."well no its not that its because he doesnt really say 'i love you' thats why." i just want everything to be better...period. my mom was crying this morning cause i think she knows that he may not make it we still dont know...he has to go to the doctor first and see if he'll respond to kemotherapy..and if they come to the decision that he wont they might just recommend keeping him in the hospital or just making him confortable at home. my grandma was telling me how exhausted she gets being that she was the only one taking care of him in matamores and having to climb up and down the stairs was not convenent for her at all. but she almost started crying...i could hear it in her voice as she told me. she was showing me the jewelry that my grandpa gave her when they first started dating. and when i was sitting up there...i started thinking of all the memories that house had. i grew up in that house...literally. i would stay there days and days just with my grandparents. i was alllllllllllllllllllllways there cause my parents would go out of town and i just stayed with them. theyre not just grandparents....they are my parents. and i dont want anything to happen to them..i never really thought anything could...i never realized that i couldnt have them forever like i actually thought..im worried..and crying...and will be going to monterrey to be with him..i..dont want anything to happen. im scared....