The end of May can't get here soon enough.
Its the end of the week. I'm tired and on edge. I can't stand myself, can barely see how anyone else can stand being around me. Its like Monday thru Wednesday I'm ok, just tired by the time I get home. But come Thursday and Friday, every little thing ticks me off. Stupid comments send me flying off the handle. I have no patience whatsoever.
But Jeff and I have found a house. We're closing the end of May. Will hopefully be moving in the same weekend. The only thing that scares me is I have no idea how to cook. Sure I can make stuff out of a box with directions but I can't just whip up anything spectacular. I can't wait to get out of my dad's and sister's house. I'm pretty sure that's what gives me my bad moods a lot.
And not to mention my dad's thinking about moving close up home. I'm gonna miss him like crazy, but he needs so leave. This city and area is too busy for him anymore. You work so hard for everything and someone can just come take it away like its nothing. In April, we had some stuff stolen from our shop twice!! And once this week people tried taking stuff in broad daylight right before lunch!! Its just like, whatever! Not to mention our shop is right in between the two intersections for the areas of the biggest crime waves in Charlotte. My dad's being worked to death. Literally. He had two weeks of vacation he couldn't take because he was so busy and he's the only one that knows how to do his job. Luckily he's looking at moving in the next year. He wouldn't last another 5, definitly, if he made it that far. All the head and heart problems he had last summer had to be from stress here. I'm seeing more and more this place isn't as spectacular as I thougth. Sure, its great for the office staff, but he doesn't get much help in the shop. But atleast if he moves, it'll be hopefully less traffic, less crime, and he'll be closer to Grandma and Okey, which is good since they're getting up there in years. Hell, now that mom has Billy and his family is up north also, maybe they'll move up there after all. Its ok, I can hold down NC all by myself.
I almost flipped today, just to show you how bad off I am right now. Two guys left before lunch, I didn't even know they were leaving, and I'm trying to page them and finally someone tells me they've left for the day. Umm, can I get the friggen email everyone else gets about someone leaving?? I swear, I'm only the one answering all your calls all day.
I don't mean to be a bitch. Its just that as soon as I think i get something straightened out, ten other things come along to mess it up. Dad and I were talking and I said getting things set up the closing was going pretty smooth. He said, "Well, if anything can go wrong, it will." and I said, "Yeah, that would be my luck." and he said, "Yeah, you would have my luck. Anything that could go wrong in the last ten years has." He said that last part kind of quiet like he either didn't mean for me to hear it or he wanted to make sure I was the only one that did. I hate how hard his and mom's life has been. And he doesn't have a significant other like most of us do. I'm starting a life with Jeff, Mom has Billy, sarah doesn't count, I don't think she'll ever get a real boyfriend. I just feel so bad for him.
I just need sleep. And I probably won't get it this weekend. Waking up at 6 to get tires put on the car, off to a soccer game, come home and clean house/cut grass cuz I know my sister won't even make an attempt to get out of her room until my dad's almost home so it'll all be left to me. Sunday will probably be sent grocery shopping, doing laundry, and I need to go out and start getting things for the house now so I don't have to later.
I'm going to quit depressing people now. Why can't I be the kind of person that's strong for everyone, that holds everything together when noone else can? The one everyone knows has something smart or inspiring to say to assure you everything is going to be ok? No, I have to be the one that thinks too much, plays bad scenarios into harmless ones, breaks down with a single word against me.
I'm going to bed when I can.
But Jeff and I have found a house. We're closing the end of May. Will hopefully be moving in the same weekend. The only thing that scares me is I have no idea how to cook. Sure I can make stuff out of a box with directions but I can't just whip up anything spectacular. I can't wait to get out of my dad's and sister's house. I'm pretty sure that's what gives me my bad moods a lot.
And not to mention my dad's thinking about moving close up home. I'm gonna miss him like crazy, but he needs so leave. This city and area is too busy for him anymore. You work so hard for everything and someone can just come take it away like its nothing. In April, we had some stuff stolen from our shop twice!! And once this week people tried taking stuff in broad daylight right before lunch!! Its just like, whatever! Not to mention our shop is right in between the two intersections for the areas of the biggest crime waves in Charlotte. My dad's being worked to death. Literally. He had two weeks of vacation he couldn't take because he was so busy and he's the only one that knows how to do his job. Luckily he's looking at moving in the next year. He wouldn't last another 5, definitly, if he made it that far. All the head and heart problems he had last summer had to be from stress here. I'm seeing more and more this place isn't as spectacular as I thougth. Sure, its great for the office staff, but he doesn't get much help in the shop. But atleast if he moves, it'll be hopefully less traffic, less crime, and he'll be closer to Grandma and Okey, which is good since they're getting up there in years. Hell, now that mom has Billy and his family is up north also, maybe they'll move up there after all. Its ok, I can hold down NC all by myself.
I almost flipped today, just to show you how bad off I am right now. Two guys left before lunch, I didn't even know they were leaving, and I'm trying to page them and finally someone tells me they've left for the day. Umm, can I get the friggen email everyone else gets about someone leaving?? I swear, I'm only the one answering all your calls all day.
I don't mean to be a bitch. Its just that as soon as I think i get something straightened out, ten other things come along to mess it up. Dad and I were talking and I said getting things set up the closing was going pretty smooth. He said, "Well, if anything can go wrong, it will." and I said, "Yeah, that would be my luck." and he said, "Yeah, you would have my luck. Anything that could go wrong in the last ten years has." He said that last part kind of quiet like he either didn't mean for me to hear it or he wanted to make sure I was the only one that did. I hate how hard his and mom's life has been. And he doesn't have a significant other like most of us do. I'm starting a life with Jeff, Mom has Billy, sarah doesn't count, I don't think she'll ever get a real boyfriend. I just feel so bad for him.
I just need sleep. And I probably won't get it this weekend. Waking up at 6 to get tires put on the car, off to a soccer game, come home and clean house/cut grass cuz I know my sister won't even make an attempt to get out of her room until my dad's almost home so it'll all be left to me. Sunday will probably be sent grocery shopping, doing laundry, and I need to go out and start getting things for the house now so I don't have to later.
I'm going to quit depressing people now. Why can't I be the kind of person that's strong for everyone, that holds everything together when noone else can? The one everyone knows has something smart or inspiring to say to assure you everything is going to be ok? No, I have to be the one that thinks too much, plays bad scenarios into harmless ones, breaks down with a single word against me.
I'm going to bed when I can.