cabin in 2 weeks!!
So Jeff tells me i need to post. since i'm not doing anythinig at the moment i guess i will. blow off a little steam while i'm at it.
so i get to puppysit jeff's sister's dog. this thing is smaller than my pear-shaped cat. so cute. i only hate that i volunteered to do baths on saturday morning where as it turns out i have 3 huge shedlesses, one small one, and a regular bath to do. however, the small shedless needs to go home by 12, which is never a problem, the regular bath will probably go home in the afternoon, so the other 3 will just have to be ready when i'm good and done, which i dont think will be a problem for 2 of them. grrr im going to smell so horrible. hopefully the puppy will be ok while i'm gone. then its jeff's band practice at 6. i feel bad leaving the puppy alone for so long, so i've yet to see how things are going to work out. if my sister's at home then it'll be fine. but knowing her she'll want to go to mom's.
speaking of mom, we had a falling out last thursday i believe it was. apparantly i worry and do too much for my sister now. she accussed me of being made the mother when she had to leave, but all i believe i was doing was protecting her and acting like a big sister. i do things for her now like take her to doctor appts and counselor appts and other various things because dad only works 11 hours a day and needs help. so i'm so sorry i actually care about my sister now and i'm helping out. but dad said he appreciates what i do. then she tried emailing me since i havent talked to her in a week trying to get me to make dad do things i've already tried to convince him to do. but its gotten to the point now where i remember specific things my dad has told me when i was little and now 10 years later they've changed, the stories are different, people reacted differently, outcomes aren't the same, so its like he lied to me either back then or he did to me now. its so frustrating trying to figure out what really happened and being the middle person listening to both sides and now knowing which side is right. hell, i'm 20 fucking years old now. i know i dont seem or act like it but attempting to slowly but surely make a life for myself. they are the number 1 reason why i dont want to have kids, seeing everything they've gone through, i couldnt handle it. because of my mom, i've become defensive and scared of arguments. but once i get started in one its hard to get out of that frame of mind. jeff has seen me become that and everytime i tell myself not to get that way but i cant help it. its also starting to get to the point where i dont even want to get married. i know its way too early to think about it and maybe once i've got a place of my own and its just me and jeff i'll feel differently, but i'm not sure, it just seems like more hassel than anything. anymore, its just waiting around for whenever there's going to be a divorce because now, half of all marriages end in divorce, although jeff and i swore we wouldnt' make that an easy way out.
but things change, you never know. people change.
hell, my sister is going to be 18 this year. my mom cant treat us like kids forever. right?
well i'm going to go help fix dinner and find something useful to do before i head over BuG's. i'm just so sick of both my parents right now and i feel bad saying that about my dad, he's provided for me all this time and i do love him. my mom is just making things difficult. wonder how apt jeff would be to moving further than stanly county. ;)
Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a **** fight
I can tell
I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when dick head put his hands on me
But you see
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a ***k
Wanna dance
By myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
Buh bye
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight
Aiight
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Break break
Break it down
In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks
You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah
You know who you are
High fivin, talking ****, but you're going home alone arentcha?
Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
It's just you and your hand
I'm not here for your entertainment
No no no
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Yeah oh
so i get to puppysit jeff's sister's dog. this thing is smaller than my pear-shaped cat. so cute. i only hate that i volunteered to do baths on saturday morning where as it turns out i have 3 huge shedlesses, one small one, and a regular bath to do. however, the small shedless needs to go home by 12, which is never a problem, the regular bath will probably go home in the afternoon, so the other 3 will just have to be ready when i'm good and done, which i dont think will be a problem for 2 of them. grrr im going to smell so horrible. hopefully the puppy will be ok while i'm gone. then its jeff's band practice at 6. i feel bad leaving the puppy alone for so long, so i've yet to see how things are going to work out. if my sister's at home then it'll be fine. but knowing her she'll want to go to mom's.
speaking of mom, we had a falling out last thursday i believe it was. apparantly i worry and do too much for my sister now. she accussed me of being made the mother when she had to leave, but all i believe i was doing was protecting her and acting like a big sister. i do things for her now like take her to doctor appts and counselor appts and other various things because dad only works 11 hours a day and needs help. so i'm so sorry i actually care about my sister now and i'm helping out. but dad said he appreciates what i do. then she tried emailing me since i havent talked to her in a week trying to get me to make dad do things i've already tried to convince him to do. but its gotten to the point now where i remember specific things my dad has told me when i was little and now 10 years later they've changed, the stories are different, people reacted differently, outcomes aren't the same, so its like he lied to me either back then or he did to me now. its so frustrating trying to figure out what really happened and being the middle person listening to both sides and now knowing which side is right. hell, i'm 20 fucking years old now. i know i dont seem or act like it but attempting to slowly but surely make a life for myself. they are the number 1 reason why i dont want to have kids, seeing everything they've gone through, i couldnt handle it. because of my mom, i've become defensive and scared of arguments. but once i get started in one its hard to get out of that frame of mind. jeff has seen me become that and everytime i tell myself not to get that way but i cant help it. its also starting to get to the point where i dont even want to get married. i know its way too early to think about it and maybe once i've got a place of my own and its just me and jeff i'll feel differently, but i'm not sure, it just seems like more hassel than anything. anymore, its just waiting around for whenever there's going to be a divorce because now, half of all marriages end in divorce, although jeff and i swore we wouldnt' make that an easy way out.
but things change, you never know. people change.
hell, my sister is going to be 18 this year. my mom cant treat us like kids forever. right?
well i'm going to go help fix dinner and find something useful to do before i head over BuG's. i'm just so sick of both my parents right now and i feel bad saying that about my dad, he's provided for me all this time and i do love him. my mom is just making things difficult. wonder how apt jeff would be to moving further than stanly county. ;)
Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a **** fight
I can tell
I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when dick head put his hands on me
But you see
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a ***k
Wanna dance
By myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
Buh bye
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight
Aiight
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Break break
Break it down
In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks
You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah
You know who you are
High fivin, talking ****, but you're going home alone arentcha?
Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
It's just you and your hand
I'm not here for your entertainment
No no no
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Yeah oh