The Three Musketeers (2011)

[mariness]

Oh, this movie was so gloriously, gloriously, terrible.

But before I get into the snark, first, a disclaimer: about midway through the movie, the theatre, for whatever reason, decided to turn on the heat, making me a bit dizzy and forcing me to pause and pull off my sweater, causing me to miss some of the Star Trek moments

Comments

[akashiver]

Oh.... dear.

[mariness]

:: grins ::

[zoethe]

What kind of twisted creature am I that I now want to see it even more?

[mariness]

Just be prepared to deal with the sexism, the bad hats, and a desire to kill D'Artagnan and you should be fine.

[zoethe]

I knew I'd want to kill D'Artagnan from the trailers.

[mariness]

This is almost certainly the worst D'Artagnan ever on screen.

[tithenai]

Hi, I'm supposed to be D'Artagnan, the chief hero of the film. You can be forgiven for not believing this.

LOVE.

Also.

NINJAS?!

Also.

WHAT?

Also.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

[mariness]

What, you weren't expecting ninjas in a Three Musketeers film?

To be fair, they aren't in it very long, and they are on a pirate ship so it ALL MAKES SENSE. Sorta.

[tithenai]

The ninja/pirate conundrum: RESOLVED. Thanks for that, film!

I wanted to take better note of all the bits I sporfled at (CHESS! TWENTIETH CENTURY MAPS!) but was too engrossed in the reading and worried I'd lose my place and also lazy. SO GOOD.

[mariness]

It's possible that the second map was part of the Bavarian location set - if my vague memory of a very bored trip there when I was nine is accurate someone said most of that castle was blown up in World War II, and it's possible that they decided to update the floor map when they rebuilt the castle if that was one of the destroyed rooms. (I honestly don't remember; I was just waiting for the ice cream and bored to death with all of the various paintings and stuff.) Of course, that assumes that room was in that same castle - I definitely recognized the exterior shots, and I give them full credit for covering up the parking lots - but the interiors may have been shot elsewhere.

But there's no excuse for the opening credits.

[fadethecat]

This sounds like exactly the kind of hilariously bad which, like the GI Joe movie, sounds like it'd be a lot of fun to watch but turns out to be outweighed by the Bad and thus is merely sort of dull instead.

[fadethecat]

(Amendment: except when watched with friends. Movie night!)

[fadethecat]

Five and a half years later, I have watched this movie while drunk as a skunk, with friends. It was an excellent evening.

[mariness]

I freely admit that S's howls of indignation and C's explanations for Physics. Why it Works. added to the fun.

[bayushi]

This made me cackle. Out loud. Thank you.

[mariness]

:: grins :: Welcome.