(no subject)
well, i have the official date i move into the oroszs for good, TOMARROW, i was just starting to feel a little fucking happy,and now this, god dammit, and my dad of course had an encouraging f.u. which sucked a lot, and ive been confused about so much shit and its just like a fucking tv sahow where they make ppls lifes shittier for are amusment, well i guess this is gods amusment, after all it was his lightning that killed paul a near 3 months before my dad started dating that dopey bitch, i guess i just have the unending sadness, "it rips and pierces me in places i cant see", what a fitting quote as im emotionally torn to pieces, confused, sad, lonely, para noid. God dammit, God damn your righteous hand, u give me this shit, and u expect me too "repent", just like my fucking dad. Things were finally starting to get a little better, but a new sadness or 2 had too fucking come, ut wud just be so easy to go to the oroszs naighbor steal a gun and shoot myself, or run away, or just go somewhere, do something ANYTHING BUT THIS FUCKING HELL