(no subject)
Quick update!!!
So today we had chair tests. AHH! I get so nervous i shake, and i know the shit, its just REALLY hard and i practiced it sooooo much and i had it pretty well. So i get up their, with my fake smile and seemingly confident attitude. I set my music down on the stand we play at in front of the class, pick up my violin and BAM, im shaking like im in -20 degree weather. I bombed out, i sounded terrible the whole time. I was so convinced i did so bad that i couldn't make myself listen to the rest of my section play making me more of a disgrace. So i went to the bathroom and almost puked. I went back and they wernt done and sat outside the door trying to make myself go back in but i couldn't do it. When Katee was done i walked back in and just didn't want to talk. I wasn't in a talking mood. I was so dissapointed in myself and i was just wishing that for once we could have a playing test only in front of him, because we all know i do better with that. I am so confident when i am one on one. All in all, the whole seating test experience was hell, and i just wanted to be away from my violin in my boy's arms..
That wish never quite came true. Brad was at his great grandma's funeral today.. i feel so bad for him. His Grandma died this summer, and his uncle died a few weeks ago. And yet he still has not shown one once of sadness to me. Iwish he would, i know he must feel something. I know if he shared everything it would only make us stronger, but i don't expect him to, he's a guy. I love how much we've grown as a couple though, it gives me hope we will last a while. I'm not wasting my time thinking we will last forever though, if that happens then i would be happy, but i'm not naive.
So the new My Chem cd is fanominal. holy shit man. I am in love. That is all i have to say on that matter
I got my varsity jacket today! I'm still wearing it lol. It is so warm and happy. a little big, eh, who cares lol
Sooooo, i think imma tell my mom about some stuff... I don't know how to tell her though. blah
Yeah, so that wasnt quick lol
~Alysha