Love keeps no record of wrong
"Think about the one person that has caused you the most hurt in your life..." the voice on the DVD continued, oblivious to the depth of emotion and the dizzying thoughts that suddenly crowded my mind. "Have you forgiven that person?" There have been many people who have caused deep hurts in my life. I was having trouble deciding who that "one person" I was supposed to focus on was. And then having to decide if I had truly forgiven that person. I am very good at avoiding. So often when deeply hurt, I take the path of avoidance. It's about minising the hurt.
We've been doing 40 Days of Love at church and the confronting DVD I was watching is part of the programme. As we went through the rest of the evening for small group, I thought again and again of whether I had truly forgiven or whether I had merely played the out of sight, out of mind tactic. The following is an extract, partially in my own words.
Forgiveness Is
I know I've forgiven when I...
1. reliquish my right to get even. (Vengence is mine, says the Lord.)
2. respond to evil with good. (Can I pray for them and genuinely wish them well?)
3. repeat that process as long as neccessary.
I like point number 3. Many times I think I have forgiven, only to be confronted with the fact that I was still bitter when the incident or the person is called to mind. Fogiveness is a process, not a one-time event.
Forgiveness is Not
1. Forgiveness is not because the other person deserves it. But beccause you deserve it, and because God commands it.
2. Forgiveness is not trust. Too often, I confuse the two and then when my trust is broken yet again, I become even more reluctant to forgive. Forgivneess is by grace, trust is by works. We are called to fogive but the other party needs to demonstrate that they are trustworthy again. And sometimes, we may forgive, but not trust the other party again.
Utimately, we forgive beacuse we have forgiven. The Lord's prayer clearly demonstrates this in the line, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." We request that God forgives us, even as / while / because we forgive others.
Tough but true.
Excuse me, I have some forgiving to do. (Hey, it rhymes!)
We've been doing 40 Days of Love at church and the confronting DVD I was watching is part of the programme. As we went through the rest of the evening for small group, I thought again and again of whether I had truly forgiven or whether I had merely played the out of sight, out of mind tactic. The following is an extract, partially in my own words.
Forgiveness Is
I know I've forgiven when I...
1. reliquish my right to get even. (Vengence is mine, says the Lord.)
2. respond to evil with good. (Can I pray for them and genuinely wish them well?)
3. repeat that process as long as neccessary.
I like point number 3. Many times I think I have forgiven, only to be confronted with the fact that I was still bitter when the incident or the person is called to mind. Fogiveness is a process, not a one-time event.
Forgiveness is Not
1. Forgiveness is not because the other person deserves it. But beccause you deserve it, and because God commands it.
2. Forgiveness is not trust. Too often, I confuse the two and then when my trust is broken yet again, I become even more reluctant to forgive. Forgivneess is by grace, trust is by works. We are called to fogive but the other party needs to demonstrate that they are trustworthy again. And sometimes, we may forgive, but not trust the other party again.
Utimately, we forgive beacuse we have forgiven. The Lord's prayer clearly demonstrates this in the line, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." We request that God forgives us, even as / while / because we forgive others.
Tough but true.
Excuse me, I have some forgiving to do. (Hey, it rhymes!)