(no subject)
I feel like I hardly ever blog, all I do is post fan fics and what not, so I'm just gonna blog.
Lately, I've been feeling happy with life, things are going well, I don't argue much with my mom, and if I do, its over silly things that don't matter. I'm trying to do better in school, my grades are going up, kinda, lol. I'm trying to be a better person, I mean the new year is coming up. I have so many fucking goals to set for myself. I know I've improved, but I can do better.
Even though I'm generally happy, I always feel like there's something missing. I'm delirious almost all the time, people hardly ever take me seriously, but when I say I love something, I mean it. Where am I going with this, you may ask, I'm trying to say that, yes, Jrock is slowly but surely killing me. I love it so much it hurts, mainly the GazettE. They're one band that has impacted me more than any other band in the world or that I've ever liked. They just make me happy, all around. Their music, their faces, whenever I see them happy. They mean everything to me, and no one takes me seriously, except for my online friends. It really hurts when I notice this, my mom insists that she cares about whats going on in my life, but apparently she doesn't give a shit about the music I listen to. She doesn't think it affects me this much. What else do I have? I don't play any sports, I dont do anything else. Music is all I have. The GazettE has inspired me so much to write. Ever since I lurked LJ and saw all the beautiful fan fictions, that got me interested more in writing. I mean, I've always liked it, ever since I was in elementary school, I'd have straight A's in writing. But when I got into Jrock, that interest for writing grew another 50%.
I got a little off topic there, but when I say that something is missing, I mean that I feel like I don't belong here, in America. I belong in Japan. Now hold up, you may think its just some weaboo ranting when you see that, but no, I truly love Japan, way beyond the pocky and animu. I am obsessed with its past, present and future. I love the culture so much, its unbelievable. Right now, Japan is a dream for me. It seems like a place I'll never go to, but I will one day, it kills me that it's so far away and that I'm so young. I sometimes wish I could just skip over time and grow older and move there. I wish I had money. This Japan dream is what has inspired me to start doing better in school, because then I can graduate High School with good grades and go to a good college and get the career as an author that I've always wanted and slowly watch my dream come true.
That's all I want in life; to be able to be a famous author and be able to say 'hey I have enough money to go to Japan now.' and even when I'm 50 or older, my dream will still be to be able to see the GazettE live. I hope I see them before I get that old though, lol! I know I will. I'm not losing hope. It killed me so much that I missed them a Tokyo Dome. I don't think anyone knows how much I suffered that night. It sounds so cliche and dumb, but it hurt, and it still does that I missed their night at Tokyo Dome. They cried so much, they gave it their all. And I missed it. My heart aches, but I need to move on.
I have high expectations for 2011, please let this year be a good one.
Lately, I've been feeling happy with life, things are going well, I don't argue much with my mom, and if I do, its over silly things that don't matter. I'm trying to do better in school, my grades are going up, kinda, lol. I'm trying to be a better person, I mean the new year is coming up. I have so many fucking goals to set for myself. I know I've improved, but I can do better.
Even though I'm generally happy, I always feel like there's something missing. I'm delirious almost all the time, people hardly ever take me seriously, but when I say I love something, I mean it. Where am I going with this, you may ask, I'm trying to say that, yes, Jrock is slowly but surely killing me. I love it so much it hurts, mainly the GazettE. They're one band that has impacted me more than any other band in the world or that I've ever liked. They just make me happy, all around. Their music, their faces, whenever I see them happy. They mean everything to me, and no one takes me seriously, except for my online friends. It really hurts when I notice this, my mom insists that she cares about whats going on in my life, but apparently she doesn't give a shit about the music I listen to. She doesn't think it affects me this much. What else do I have? I don't play any sports, I dont do anything else. Music is all I have. The GazettE has inspired me so much to write. Ever since I lurked LJ and saw all the beautiful fan fictions, that got me interested more in writing. I mean, I've always liked it, ever since I was in elementary school, I'd have straight A's in writing. But when I got into Jrock, that interest for writing grew another 50%.
I got a little off topic there, but when I say that something is missing, I mean that I feel like I don't belong here, in America. I belong in Japan. Now hold up, you may think its just some weaboo ranting when you see that, but no, I truly love Japan, way beyond the pocky and animu. I am obsessed with its past, present and future. I love the culture so much, its unbelievable. Right now, Japan is a dream for me. It seems like a place I'll never go to, but I will one day, it kills me that it's so far away and that I'm so young. I sometimes wish I could just skip over time and grow older and move there. I wish I had money. This Japan dream is what has inspired me to start doing better in school, because then I can graduate High School with good grades and go to a good college and get the career as an author that I've always wanted and slowly watch my dream come true.
That's all I want in life; to be able to be a famous author and be able to say 'hey I have enough money to go to Japan now.' and even when I'm 50 or older, my dream will still be to be able to see the GazettE live. I hope I see them before I get that old though, lol! I know I will. I'm not losing hope. It killed me so much that I missed them a Tokyo Dome. I don't think anyone knows how much I suffered that night. It sounds so cliche and dumb, but it hurt, and it still does that I missed their night at Tokyo Dome. They cried so much, they gave it their all. And I missed it. My heart aches, but I need to move on.
I have high expectations for 2011, please let this year be a good one.