Naruto Fic: Lords and Ladies, Chapter 4 (Itachi/Hinata, Sasuke/Hinata, Cast)

[mariagoner]

I'm putting this chapter up a little sooner than expected but I've got something to celebrate. Thanks to the magic of Jewish holidays, I've got two whole weeks of school off, which makes me incandescently giddy with glee. Life is good and gave me just enough time and inspiration to finish this chapter early

Comments

[twilit]

Personally, I hated the latest plot-twist in Naruto. To me, it was just more of the mistaken manga-ka belief that unexpected plot-twists are a sufficient substitute for real plot and character depth. I like Itachi more before he became a manga cliche. But on to your questions:

1) So long as he remains a glorious bastard, yes. Some people are just assholes and play their role well.
2) Chemistry in this story? Yes. I rather like your version. I wouldn't like to see them together too often though. Much like too much of a great song makes you indifferent to it. As to how to incorporate him into the story, as I have no idea what is the greater THRUST of this one beyond "folks want sasuke and hinata to bang" I couldn't really say.

In conclusion, Itachi's good, but less of him. Sasuke and Gaara could use some face time, but don't rush it if you have other thins in mind. Especially Gaara's entrance. Don't blow his load early. There's still room for omgominous foreshadowing.

[mariagoner]

I'm glad you're still keeping up with this story, hon! I seem to have lost some readers in the looooooooong, loooong gap between updates so I'm grateful you're still reading!

I have to kind of admit to loving the Itachi 'twist' that explained his motivations in the manga. Before that, I found Itachi to be an intriguing character, but not one I felt comfortable with writing. But after realizing what he was forced to do to his family-- and what he couldn't do to his little brother-- I fell in love. He's like Vayne Solidor with far, far better hair! I honestly couldn't resist him afterwards. ;)

And yes, Itachi will still continue being a Magnificent Bastard,though after Chapter , he'll be taking a step-back in the story. I've been neglecting Sasuke since the end of chapter 1 and Gaara has yet to be introduced. There are more than enough complications coming up to keep poor Hinata busy...

[stacylilly]

I never really thought of Hinata and Itachi together, in fact I avoided such fan fics before, but your story is different. It's really interesting and tense and full of chemistry and secrets.

Honestly, you story reminds me so much of a Jane Austen-meets-V.C. Andrews novel it's almost unreal. lol. Which is a good thing, btw. They are two of my favorite authors. XD

I think that, however you had this story originally planned out in your head, you should continue writing it. Itachi is a great addition and adds to the drama already in your story.

I really want to hear why Hinata chose Itachi as her first. That seems like a great twist and a great little side-story. XD

[mariagoner]

I'm really glad you've been enjoying this story so far! And hee... no-one has ever compared me to either Jane Austen or V. C. Andrews before, which I take as very high praise indeed. I love them and their books madly as well (though I still think that that ghost-writer of V. C. Andrews' should have been taken out back and shot before he tarnished her fine legacy of trashy writing

[stacylilly]

Oh, trust me. I'm the last one to be complaining about a long hiatus. My poor fic goes through more of those than the Harry Potter movies.

*is going to read asap* THANK YOU! *fangirls*

...btw, I love your Itachi dialogue. It's so IC and snappy. Gotta love witty!Itachi, right? XD

[wistfulmemory]

Sorry it took me so long to comment on this chapter. I had a very busy/tiring weekend

[mariagoner]

Before I go on... can I just say how incredibly lucky I am to have you as a reader? Not only are you incredibly thorough with your reviews and not only do you give me amazingly detailed feedback that really helps me understand what is and isn't working for this story... you're also sweet enough to worry about me when I'm gone from the internet. ♥ I've actually been doing really well recently-- I landed myself a new job as a TA, started work on some important projects for class and even got to go on my honeymoon this winter! XD How's life been treating you recently?

Hee... I've gotten more than a few inquiries about where Sasuke was this chapter! I really dropped the ball on specifying where he was the entire time, honestly. ^_~ He's actually out of the house entirely, which is actually a good thing for Itachi, if not Hinata. If he saw the way his brother was manhandling his wife secret love friend, he'd be stuffing some Chidoris up a very uncomfortable part of Itachi's body. Nobody messes with a very special secret love friend of his

[sharkygal]

Sorry it's taken me forever and a half to get to this -- RL seems to have eaten me alive.

In any case, I was definitely intrigued by this chapter. Your Itachi characterization makes me nervous in the best way, wondering just what bastardry he's up to, and I really liked Snarky!Hinata (there was a lot of mental cheering when she stood up for herself at the end

[mariagoner]

Ohohoho... believe me, you shouldn't worry about taking a while to review this story... seeing as how I've now take four months to update it. ::sweat-drop:: Somehow, taking a vacation from writing to go on my honey-moon spiraled off into a non-fandom torpor that saw me being disconnected from LJ for weeks on end

[yukikohosokoawa]

I Loved How You Wrote This - The Style Is So,Eloquently Put,Classical.Just How One Would Feel When Living In Those Ages.

Also :

1) Do you like/are interested in this version of Itachi? You're not getting the full story on him but I'm trying to hint about the reasons why he became Hinata's first lover...

My PoV : Yes,It's Quite Fascinating.I'd Love To Know More How,And Why, It Happened.

2) Do you think Hinata and Itachi have chemistry together? Would you like to see them together more often? Should I incorporate him more in the story?

My PoV : Yes,And No.They DO Have Chemistry But I'd Rather Have Their Story Over&Done With.GaaHina & SasuHina.More Chemistry Between SasuHina Would Be Welcomed.

Also,Update Soon.Glorious Fic. ^_^

[mariagoner]

I'm afraid I wasn't able to follow your suggestion to update soon but after four (!) ridiculously long months, I did finally manage to put chapter 5 of the story up. (The link is below, if you're still interested in reading. ;) And since Itachi intrigued me so much as soon as I started writing him, I'm hoping I did justice to him in that chapter as well! He's going to slink back into the shadows afterward... but that only leaves more room for SasuHinaGaara hijinx. And trust me when I say that the SasuHina chemistry is going to ignite soon enough. I think I've set the scene for it quite fortuitously...

'And here I thought you were more attracted towards blonds,' Itachi responded dryly, sending another rush of blood circulating to the tops of her cheeks. 'Or have your romantic peccadilloes changed so quickly? If you keep changing your mind from one man to the next, you might be accused of faithlessness quite easily.'