Being Disliked
In the neighborhood I grew up in, I was never liked by other moms as a child. It's funny because if I had been in a different area, I probably would have been considered a really nice girl. But here I was the black sheep. I wonder about this now, what it was they didn't like about me. I think they sort of sensed I had a little darkness to me. I was a little troubled but it wasn't my fault, I was the product of an emotionally abusive control freak. So a little darkness, a little troubled, a little rebellious spirit. Hate me if you will. I made a lot of mistakes when I finally started dating because instead of rolling with the good kids, who would have been a healthy influence, I was attracted to guys who had a little of that darkness too. A little light, a little dark, that's balanced. But semi-darkness and semi-darkness are not a good combination. I loosened up, I got wild, I made impulsive decisions and allowed guys to use me. Of course now I'm stronger, I've learned that because of it I'm less judgmental than I might have been, had I stayed prim and proper. Who knows, those friends might seem perfect but they might have their dark secrets to. They're just not as open about it, which makes them more likeable.