Keahi Journal
I ended up falling asleep in the library in the middle of my notes and right next to the chalice. I suppose I was hurt by the abyssal than I had realized, or perhaps I just worked myself into such a frenzy that my mind simply had to stop. I don't know at this point and I guess it doesn't really matter. I was surprised that I did not have nightmares, sleeping that close to the chalice, or maybe when I woke up I was simply unable to remember having them. I was once again jealous of the fantastic gift the cowboy has when I saw his library. It was obviously never an important room in the First Age, probably added for show if nothing else, but it is still a library and certainly has more knowledge than the one at the Palace, or at least more knowledge that is pertinant to what I want to know about. I stayed up, going through my journal and notes trying to put the pieces together. I have a theory, but it's rough and a lot of things are leaps of assumptions without real knowledge, but it's a theory and it's rather terrifying. From everything we've seen I have serious reason to believe that there is something big going on with the yozi cult of Crimson Tempest and the Abyssals. And it somehow has to do with the Empress's body, which last I heard was still missing. Whatever a coalition like that wants with her body is not good for Creation and we need to hurry and put all this together before they can achieve whatever their goals are.
I was woken up by Silver and Haze in the morning, probably looking a little crazy, after all who sleeps in a library when there is a perfectly luxerious room for them. Haze, apparently had another dream. Haze's dreams are something to take seriously since they have a nasty tendency to come true. She predicted the death of Rose, and so it was, she predicted something horrible happening to Dream and ONdolee and while that may not have come to pass, that doesn't mean it won't. And then, of course, there were the dreams about Silver. I was flattered that he expected me to know what was going on, but a bit embaressed when I had to admit that I didn't know much more than he did. The powers of the undead are still in the rudimentary stages for me and what I do know is largely theortical or what I have gleaned on this trip. However, the dream, which centered on one of CHaos's girls running through what SIlver and I agree to be a shadowland, made me remember something that I had simply put aside as a quaint sidenote. The cult which kidnapped me was associated with the yozi Adanya, who was known for possession. THe reminder of the babies, and having the chalice on hand, made me worry that the girls were kidnapped to provide sacrifices to Adanya. THis, however, is not an easy thing to bring so I mentioned it simply as a possibility rather than upset Haze and everyone else. I don't really think, however, that it's too far off the mark.
TO stop Haze from panicing and fretting, I told her that it was a dream to take some note of, but more likely it was simply the cause of stress and her mind backlashing from what had been happening recently. Her dream was interesting and should be kept in mind, but it was probably nothing more than stress. I told her I would make note of it and she should forget it. Silver did not like that one bit. He seemed to get rather angry with me for telling Haze it was just a dream and nothing to worry about. I know as well as he does that it IS something to worry about and that it should NOT be forgotten (which is why I've written all the details of the dream on the next page) but there are a few other things I don't think he took into concideration. First off, Haze being upset isn't going to help anyone, certainly not Haze, so finding a way to cheer her up is always the first goal in my mind. Someone as sweet as Haze shouldn't have to worry about things ever. Second, although the dream is troublesome and possibly a sign of things to come, there is nothing to be gleaned in it immediatly. The girls were not even showing when they were taken. I don't know if the gestation period is different here in the Scavenger Lands, but in the blessed isle it's eleven to twelve months. Since it's unlikely that the sacrifice would be useful unless it was born, that means Haze's dream is a sign of things to come MONTHs from now. Unless, of course, the demons have a way to speed up such a process. Third, although the dream's horrors were very vivid, there was nothing to give us any leads. A forest of ash could be any shadowland. It could be the one near Sijan where Crimson Tempest was supposed tobe buried, it could be a small one outside of Nexus, it could be halfway across the Creation. The fact remains that while the dream was a warning, it was not a clue. Therefore it could just as easily be chalked up to stress as some kind of telepathic ability, and since calling it the result of a dream brought a little comfort to Haze, Silver can go ahead and be angry at me for telling her to calm down. After a few more days with us, he'll surely understand how important it is.
It's more and more important for me to remember to keep focused on these tasks, otherwise I start thinking about how the cowboy has been acting and it hurts. I know I am being a bit sensitive. We both knew from the beginning that it was just sex, just a way to relief tension and ease boredom (not to mention it keeps down his tabs) and it's not like he's ever done anything to make me think otherwise. I know that it's all the memories that are making me more sensitive because I couldn't really be falling for someone again, and certainly not someone so jaded. I couldn't be that stupid, right? I already have one obnoxious male in my life, why am I trying to complicate everything with another? But then I take into consideration how long the group as a whole has been together and how much we've been through and I realize that my feelings for him have little to do with the fact he and I share a bed most nights. He is my friend, and it's as simple as that. He's my friend, just as much as Haze is (though on another level, I don't think I could confess all the things I do with Haze to Ondolee, he'd just laugh at me) and there's something wrong with him. He's always been surely and jaded and even a little cruel. But the danger is past now, his three months of waiting...he proved that he could, in fact, beat Erin before the Abyssals bolted. He is better in many ways I don't think his abyssal friend is ready to accept and despite Ondolee's many personable defenses, he has loyal companions in Haze and myself ( I suppose I can count Silver now, but i'm still getting used to that idea myself) who will keep helping him. But there is something hurting him, there is something wrong with him that he's not saying. Ondolee's never quiet about his opinions, so what could be disturbing the cowboy so much I haven't the faintest idea. My own paranoia about the material says it's something about the weapon Erin gave him, but I have no idea if telling Ondolee to leave it behind will help or not. The romantic in me though is wondering if maybe the cowboy is surly for the same reason I'm scared. How long has it been since either of us had someone worry and fret over us they way Silver and Haze worry over each other? It's silly, I know, but right now my mind is in a mood to go off on crazy tangents that will probably lead to no where.
I was woken up by Silver and Haze in the morning, probably looking a little crazy, after all who sleeps in a library when there is a perfectly luxerious room for them. Haze, apparently had another dream. Haze's dreams are something to take seriously since they have a nasty tendency to come true. She predicted the death of Rose, and so it was, she predicted something horrible happening to Dream and ONdolee and while that may not have come to pass, that doesn't mean it won't. And then, of course, there were the dreams about Silver. I was flattered that he expected me to know what was going on, but a bit embaressed when I had to admit that I didn't know much more than he did. The powers of the undead are still in the rudimentary stages for me and what I do know is largely theortical or what I have gleaned on this trip. However, the dream, which centered on one of CHaos's girls running through what SIlver and I agree to be a shadowland, made me remember something that I had simply put aside as a quaint sidenote. The cult which kidnapped me was associated with the yozi Adanya, who was known for possession. THe reminder of the babies, and having the chalice on hand, made me worry that the girls were kidnapped to provide sacrifices to Adanya. THis, however, is not an easy thing to bring so I mentioned it simply as a possibility rather than upset Haze and everyone else. I don't really think, however, that it's too far off the mark.
TO stop Haze from panicing and fretting, I told her that it was a dream to take some note of, but more likely it was simply the cause of stress and her mind backlashing from what had been happening recently. Her dream was interesting and should be kept in mind, but it was probably nothing more than stress. I told her I would make note of it and she should forget it. Silver did not like that one bit. He seemed to get rather angry with me for telling Haze it was just a dream and nothing to worry about. I know as well as he does that it IS something to worry about and that it should NOT be forgotten (which is why I've written all the details of the dream on the next page) but there are a few other things I don't think he took into concideration. First off, Haze being upset isn't going to help anyone, certainly not Haze, so finding a way to cheer her up is always the first goal in my mind. Someone as sweet as Haze shouldn't have to worry about things ever. Second, although the dream is troublesome and possibly a sign of things to come, there is nothing to be gleaned in it immediatly. The girls were not even showing when they were taken. I don't know if the gestation period is different here in the Scavenger Lands, but in the blessed isle it's eleven to twelve months. Since it's unlikely that the sacrifice would be useful unless it was born, that means Haze's dream is a sign of things to come MONTHs from now. Unless, of course, the demons have a way to speed up such a process. Third, although the dream's horrors were very vivid, there was nothing to give us any leads. A forest of ash could be any shadowland. It could be the one near Sijan where Crimson Tempest was supposed tobe buried, it could be a small one outside of Nexus, it could be halfway across the Creation. The fact remains that while the dream was a warning, it was not a clue. Therefore it could just as easily be chalked up to stress as some kind of telepathic ability, and since calling it the result of a dream brought a little comfort to Haze, Silver can go ahead and be angry at me for telling her to calm down. After a few more days with us, he'll surely understand how important it is.
It's more and more important for me to remember to keep focused on these tasks, otherwise I start thinking about how the cowboy has been acting and it hurts. I know I am being a bit sensitive. We both knew from the beginning that it was just sex, just a way to relief tension and ease boredom (not to mention it keeps down his tabs) and it's not like he's ever done anything to make me think otherwise. I know that it's all the memories that are making me more sensitive because I couldn't really be falling for someone again, and certainly not someone so jaded. I couldn't be that stupid, right? I already have one obnoxious male in my life, why am I trying to complicate everything with another? But then I take into consideration how long the group as a whole has been together and how much we've been through and I realize that my feelings for him have little to do with the fact he and I share a bed most nights. He is my friend, and it's as simple as that. He's my friend, just as much as Haze is (though on another level, I don't think I could confess all the things I do with Haze to Ondolee, he'd just laugh at me) and there's something wrong with him. He's always been surely and jaded and even a little cruel. But the danger is past now, his three months of waiting...he proved that he could, in fact, beat Erin before the Abyssals bolted. He is better in many ways I don't think his abyssal friend is ready to accept and despite Ondolee's many personable defenses, he has loyal companions in Haze and myself ( I suppose I can count Silver now, but i'm still getting used to that idea myself) who will keep helping him. But there is something hurting him, there is something wrong with him that he's not saying. Ondolee's never quiet about his opinions, so what could be disturbing the cowboy so much I haven't the faintest idea. My own paranoia about the material says it's something about the weapon Erin gave him, but I have no idea if telling Ondolee to leave it behind will help or not. The romantic in me though is wondering if maybe the cowboy is surly for the same reason I'm scared. How long has it been since either of us had someone worry and fret over us they way Silver and Haze worry over each other? It's silly, I know, but right now my mind is in a mood to go off on crazy tangents that will probably lead to no where.