I'm such a fucking loser!

[margaritap]

I've gone and lost my i.d, the most undignified thing a person can lose, perhaps because it's one of the more important things a person has. I associate the gross irresponsibility involved in losing one's i.d with teenage mothers unable to collect their welfare cheques and crackheads who can't get their methadone. Losing i.d makes me think of getting too drunk and puking all over my chest and having someone say "WTF, N-dawg, you're all covered in vomit" and answering "Don't worry about it, dude, it's all cool" when actually it isn't cool at all, I'm just too much of an slovenly idiot to know that. Losing i.d is for the for the illiterate huddled masses, people who smoke cigarette butts off of the ground, people who engage strangers in inappropriate conversation on the bus, people who are always having to move in the middle of the night. The type of poor who haven't discovered lentils and the library. Or this guy my dad works with who, in his youth, kept getting too drunk and passing out and having friends who would steal all his money and cut off his limbs (no joke). It happened to him, like, three times. When I met him my dad whispered to me "whatever you do don't tell him where you live, work, or go to school." Losing i.d is for people who don't feel like there's any reason to have an identity, for people who can't take care of themselves. So I'm so embarassed, more than anything.

Oh, and it was such a good photo! I had this unimpressed sneer and this try-hardy indie rock hairdo, and to look at it one wouldn't think I am the way I am at all. I might never look like such a bitch again!

Tonight Martin and I had blueberry teas in a hotel bar and meaningful conversation and a very nice bike ride, but I couldn't stop thinking about how I was missing a show that I was quite looking foward to. In the same vein, if anyone wants my ticket to tomorrow's Wolf Parade show, it's yours. If you don't take it it's going in the recycling.