Comments | margaretc: On children and clothing.

margaretc

On children and clothing.

Oct 14, 2008 17:31

I admit to a deep ambivalence about this particular subject. The other day Nate refused to wear his jeans with kitty-cat knee patches on them, because someone at school had made fun of him because of them. Or made fun of them. Same difference ( Read more... )

knitting, parenting

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soucyn October 15 2008, 13:56:25 UTC

I've always figured that kids will pick on each other no matter what adults do. The only way to stop it is to have adult supervision over every child 100% of their waking hours - which brings on it's own issues.

That said, Nate seems like a smart kid. He'll make choices for himself where you allow it, and will figure out how to deal with those consequences. It might be that he feels like fitting in a bit more now, and then later will want to be more expressive again later. Some days, I feel like fitting in, and some days I feel like making a statement.

Though, fair warning, if Nate turns into a Hot-Topic-Goth-Angsty-Teenager, I will have to tease him to no end... ;P

margaretc October 15 2008, 14:17:36 UTC

I'm sure he will for a little while, although Hot Topic will be totally passe' by then, but yes, I'm sure I'll tease him too.

Teasing by grown-ups is different from teasing by kids, though. I still react to them differently. How irrational is that?

soucyn October 15 2008, 15:31:18 UTC

Well, when an adult teases someone, they usually do it in a way that implies that they are only joking, and that they really consider the person to be a friend. Kids haven't learned that skill yet, and tend not to censor their negative opinions like adults do. So, kids come off as mean while adults come off as loving.

soucyn October 15 2008, 15:56:26 UTC

Sorry, that was me with the anonymous comment. Silly iPhone didn't stay logged in.

mstra_margarita October 15 2008, 20:20:19 UTC

I remember one of my sisters telling me when I was in jr high (she was in college or had graduated)and was being teased mercilessly, really more like harassed, by a group of kids that at my age "Sadism means 'I like you.' "

Interesting but it didn't really help me cope with the teasing.

margaretc October 16 2008, 13:02:09 UTC

Nor do I have any way at all to believe that. I find it completely disingenuous and highly unlikely.

In retrospect, a lot of my girl problems were due to the fact that most of the guys thought I was pretty awesome, which, if I was able to go back and tell myself that, would also not be believed.

Sigh.

I must avoid projecting my own insecurities on to him.

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