Wish I could find a way to disappear
Summer ran off with Eric over the weekend and got married. There's a lot of people really kind of freaked out about it. I knew she was the kind to do it but I didn't know she was going to. I wish I had been around for when they called I would have gone to Vegas with them. Summer apologized and said she wished she could have waited around for me but they were in a rush due to lack of planning. She also said that I was expected to go to the reception they are planning at Ralph's. I told her I'd be there.
Hopefully I remember how to sleep before then.
I forgot how much I hate not sleeping. Everytime I close my eyes I dream bad things. And that and the conversation I had with Amber I've kind of crawled back into that Marcus shell I used to wear all the time. She doesn't want to stay and I should never have put that much of myself into it and asked her. I left myself wide open for it. She didnt' want to go with us to Ireland either. I decided to take some chances and I feel really stupid for doing it.
I understand her point about if I expect her to break up with me I might cause it myself but I don't know what's going on half the time so I don't know what to expect. It's easier to just go with the worst, that's what's always happened to me anyway.
I didn't go to school today. I don't know if I'll go tomorrow either, I just want to be alone. I'll probably just walk around, maybe take me sketchbook with me and dissapear for a while.
God I want to sleep.
Hopefully I remember how to sleep before then.
I forgot how much I hate not sleeping. Everytime I close my eyes I dream bad things. And that and the conversation I had with Amber I've kind of crawled back into that Marcus shell I used to wear all the time. She doesn't want to stay and I should never have put that much of myself into it and asked her. I left myself wide open for it. She didnt' want to go with us to Ireland either. I decided to take some chances and I feel really stupid for doing it.
I understand her point about if I expect her to break up with me I might cause it myself but I don't know what's going on half the time so I don't know what to expect. It's easier to just go with the worst, that's what's always happened to me anyway.
I didn't go to school today. I don't know if I'll go tomorrow either, I just want to be alone. I'll probably just walk around, maybe take me sketchbook with me and dissapear for a while.
God I want to sleep.