I need a freak...
Yeah. I just got done watching Scarface. It's the most inspiring movie ever. Tony Montana is a hero. And yes, I have walked up to a woman in the club and told her that "Joo look like joo haven't been fucked in a month." Of course, I was asked what I would do to solve that problem. My response...stunned silence, then I asked to buy the woman a drink so we could discuss our plans for later that night. Only much much later after a case of the whiskey dick (further proof of my 1/8 Irish heritage) did I get slapped in the face. Marcus "King Kong" Dowling, advising the youth of America to only tell a woman things about yourself sexually that you can back up. A woman can take one look at you in any shape you're in and tell if you're a good lay. Ultimately, it's not your choice as a man if you're having sex later on, so, you can lie and think you're getting lucky, or, you can be smart about it, and play Russian Roulette with drinking.
Random other aside, GOD Pt. III by Mobb Deep is the flyest song that uses a sample from Scarface. Damn. Just a beautifully grimey track.
I introduced Chris Nightmare to Philadelphia last weekend. I don't think he's going to be the same. Chris Nightmare has an official song now. It goes as follows:
Chris Nightmare....FUCK YEAH
Comin' again to save the MOTHERFUCKIN MATCH YEAH!
Chris Nightmare....FUCK YEAH
What you going to do when the Nightmaricans come for you now?!?!?!?!?
Yes. Nightmaricans. I am a Nightmarican and damn proud of it. Chris Nightmare...F**K YEAH! bumper stickers available soon at independent shows near you.
I also wore one of King Kaluha's face masks during the tag against the Backseats, wherein, I was almost killed by the dastardly duo of Trent Acid and Johnny Kashmere and their "T Gimmick" for no apparent reason. Sure, I was on the ring apron after they hit Larry Sweeney with the Dream Sequence, but the Dream Sequence is an incredibly illegal move, and I thought that after over 15 years of refereeing, Mike Kehner had forgotten some of the rules of wrestling, so I wanted to point out to him the illegality of that manuever. Trent Acid then insulted me, and, being that I am the most virile human being walking in the Northeast, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and double clothesline the Backseats. For their pre-meditated assault, I almost got killed. A very special thanks to the human orchid of professional wrestling, Larry Sweeney, for interrupting the move and taking it himself for the defeat. While I would have been murdered, Sweeney, as the most virile and manly human being of the entire East coast, only suffered a bruised ego. But, we will not slow down, and we will fight again, on November 18th.
There's a new season of MADE starting on MTV tonmorrow. I love that fucking show. It's so inspiring, while at the same time so demeaning to fat, geeky, oblivious or socially inept people. Ain't that America.
If I were single, I'd so be in the mood for a booty call right now. Damn. So now, instead, I'm just sitting here watching downloaded porn from the 1970s. Behind the Green Door if you were wondering. I'm a mark for Marilyn Chambers and artistically rendered jizz landing on smooth ivory skin. Love that shit.
I'm done.
- Marcus