Musings from Mall Door
Thursday, I spent my entire shift at mall doors. Mall doors is the slowest, most boring place in the entire store. I read two magazines, and the entire 1-2-3 Flooring book. Mall doors exists purely because we're connected to University Heights mall, and therefore someone needs to be at the exit to watch the bathrooms, and the security gates. No one goes there. You can have two customers come through that till in an hour. It's insane. So I spent eight hours there, and these are thoughts I had.
Who knew coming to work wearing matching wrist braces would cause so much speculation?
There's a lady who sets off every security gate she goes through. She thinks it's her bank card. I think maybe she was abducted by aliens and has a chip in her head that's transmitting at frequencies common to all security gates. At least, that's the cool explanation, and would be true on the X-Files.
I'm pretty sure someone just took product into the bathroom, removed the security tags, and walked out with it in his pants. But I don't know what he looks like, what was in his hand, , or when LP Guy is working (are his shifts random? That doesn't make it easy to track him down).
I should start charging a fee for holding people's aprons behind my till when they go on break. I feel like a coat-check.
I just saw a middle-aged man with a G-Unit zip up sweatshirt. He had a little boy wearing sweat pants, Crocs, and a large cowboy hat. I'm more weirded out by the G-Unit thing.
Customers are assholes. Just because I have a till doesn't mean I can do returns. And no, I can't let you just exchange the more expensive screws for the cheaper ones you want and walk out the door. It's not my problem you walked past the returns desk on your way here and have to go all the way back.
The little coffee shop outside the mall doors is kept in business by Home Depot associates desperate for caffeine on their 15 minute breaks.
Who knew coming to work wearing matching wrist braces would cause so much speculation?
There's a lady who sets off every security gate she goes through. She thinks it's her bank card. I think maybe she was abducted by aliens and has a chip in her head that's transmitting at frequencies common to all security gates. At least, that's the cool explanation, and would be true on the X-Files.
I'm pretty sure someone just took product into the bathroom, removed the security tags, and walked out with it in his pants. But I don't know what he looks like, what was in his hand, , or when LP Guy is working (are his shifts random? That doesn't make it easy to track him down).
I should start charging a fee for holding people's aprons behind my till when they go on break. I feel like a coat-check.
I just saw a middle-aged man with a G-Unit zip up sweatshirt. He had a little boy wearing sweat pants, Crocs, and a large cowboy hat. I'm more weirded out by the G-Unit thing.
Customers are assholes. Just because I have a till doesn't mean I can do returns. And no, I can't let you just exchange the more expensive screws for the cheaper ones you want and walk out the door. It's not my problem you walked past the returns desk on your way here and have to go all the way back.
The little coffee shop outside the mall doors is kept in business by Home Depot associates desperate for caffeine on their 15 minute breaks.