Loved the Stars too Fondly: Part Five
Title: Loved the Stars too Fondly
Author: marastories
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, Dystopia AU, Future AU
Pairing(s): Dean Winchester/Castiel
Rating: General Audiences
Word Count: 7,062
Warnings: brief mentions of panic attacks, partial character death
Artist: jaelijn
Art link: | x|
Summary: "Most would say the Second Revolution started with the efforts of our fearless leaders. Others would say it was a combination of many factors, or destined to happen from the very beginning. Those people were not entirely wrong, but for the few that knew the truth, the catalyst for biggest revolution in the history of mankind started with an ordinary man on an ordinary day."
When Castiel traded places with his sister to save her life, he thought he would be a prisoner the rest of his life. Then entered Dean Winchester, who gave Castiel his freedom.
Part Five
Dean and Cas rode to a clearing near the village in the woods with Jo, Ash, Sam, and Benny following a few minutes behind them. A small group of people were already waiting for them to arrive. Dean informed Cas that most of the kids in the village wanted to become a Guard, but very few actually passed all the tests, with one of the major tests being hand-to-hand fighting; it didn’t matter what a Guard later chose to specialized in, everyone had to pass.
After a few minutes the rest of the people participating in the training trickled in. All the potential Guards were dressed in grey uniforms a shade lighter than formal Guard attire and stood shoulder to shoulder in two rows while Dean detailed how the training session would work. First he would demonstrate example techniques with Jo or Benny, and then they would be paired up and given time to practice. At the end the candidates could challenge anyone to a match. Dean reminded the group that they would be judged and scored throughout the entire day.
He wished them luck and began on the first exercise.
Castiel was mesmerized as he watched Dean give demonstrations. His movements were sure and confident without being too cocky. It was obvious Dean knew his strengths and weakness, but also knew how to use them to his advantage. Castiel also watched how the others moved too. Jo was light and agile as danced across the grass. She was able to catch Dean a few times and used her low center of gravity to get him to the ground. Benny relied on pure strength and power to take down the person he was facing. Ash was the odd one, he always on the defensive and never outright attacked his opponents.
Sam attempted to spar with Cas, but he quickly became too out of breath to continue. He had yet to recover fully from his sickness. Castiel sat with him on the edge of the wide clearing and helped score the trainees. After watching each of the half dozen pairs for awhile, Castiel noticed that many of the people training were a few years older than Cas and Dean, but one girl in particular stood out from the others.
She couldn’t have been any older than Sam. Her long dark hair was braided down her back and the sleeves of her jacket were rolled up past her elbows. From what Cas could tell, the girl was holding her own and even winning matches against men twice her size. Every break she had, she was studying the way everyone else fought. It was something he noticed only Dean and himself doing.
Dean called for a short break, and the group sat in the shade across from Cas and Sam.
“Do you know everyone here, Sam?”
“Yeah, why?” Sam looked up from studying a list of names and scores from previous tests.
“I was just interested in why everyone was here. Like that young girl with the dark hair, she looks too young to be a Guard for the Manor.”
He glanced at everyone across the clearing. “Krissy? Her father was a Guard. He was killed in an accident a couple years ago, and then she wanted to become a Guard too. The same thing happen to Jo. Jo’s father was a personal Guard to my father and was killed when Jo was little. I remember her begged Ellen to let her become a Guard. After lots of yelling and fighting, Ellen eventually let Jo start training. Now she’s one of the best.”
“I didn’t know that about her.”
“Jo’s not the one to go around telling everyone her life story. And I think Krissy’s actually older than Jo when she first started training. If someone young makes it to the end, like Krissy now or Jo back a few years ago, they’ll train for a few more years under a senior officer like Ash or Benny.”
“How did Benny and Ash become Guards?”
“Ash’s parents died in a house fire when he was little, and Ellen and her husband took him in. This was before Jo was born. He would always break into the main Guard station and mess around with the communication and security systems. Eventually Ash worked sorted himself out and is now in charge of everything involving technology at the Manor.” Sam got distracted by the sound of laughter coming from the other group.
“Unlike most of the Guards,” he went on, “Benny didn’t grow up here. From what I’ve gathered over the years, he was a Union Officer who defected. One of his superiors gave him an order, but he refused to carry it out. Later when his life was threatened because he disobeyed the people above him, Benny left the Capital and sought out protection from my father. Benny’s been one of the most loyal people to my family. He’s watched out for my brother me for the almost ten years. Now he’s also one of Dean’s closest friends.”
Cas thought through the things Sam told him. “I’ve never heard of the Union threatening an Officer’s life just because the Officer didn’t follow orders. What did Benny not do?”
“I don’t know. I think Dean’s the only one who actually knows what happened.”
Sam and Cas silently watched the others the rest of the break. Jo, Ash, Benny, and Dean had broken off by themselves and were deeply conversing about something that was apparently hysterical. Jo leaned into Dean’s side as she laughed. Castiel felt jealousy shoot through his system every time she got closer and closer to him. He didn’t know why he was reacting so harshly to a simple gesture between friends.
Cas took a moment to compose himself, making sure his face remained neutral. His emotions were carefully hidden by the time Dean reconvened the matches.
Dean stood in front, facing the people gathered around him. “As the instructor, I want to pick the first challenge. Cas, are you ready to lose?”
Castiel stood up and brushed the loose dirt from his pants. “I thought we decided last night that I was going to win.” He joined Dean in the front of the crowd; he had been waiting for this moment the entire morning.
They got into their starting positions, and within seconds of beginning the match, Cas had Dean pinned to the ground gasping for breath as the air had knocked out of his lungs. Cas helped Dean stand.
“This time I won’t go so easy on you,” joked Dean.
The second time they fought, Dean got in a few jabs at Cas before ending up pinned to the ground again.
“Jeez, Cas, you are good.”
The Guards in training looked in awe of Castiel.
“I did tell you, Dean.”
Dean begrudgingly agreed, called the start of the challenge period, and sat down beside his little brother in the shade.
Cas was challenged by a few more people during the rest of the training session. Jo and Benny went down as easily as Dean, though they stuck around for more than two matches. Ash didn’t even bother to face Cas.Krissy, surprisingly, held out the longest. After a few rounds, Cas showed the girl a few moves that took full advantage of her size and could be blended seamlessly into her already vast skillset. Soon, Krissy was the one pinning Cas down, along with everyone else.
During the breaks in between challenges, Cas would sneak a glance to Sam and Dean. Whatever they were talking about had Dean growing increasingly frustrated with his little brother.
Then Dean’s attitude changed, and Castiel didn’t know how the man was feeling.
All he knew was that by the time training ended and the group had dispersed, Sam looked very proud of himself.
Cas rode back the to Manor with Jo and spent the rest of the day catching up on the reading he pushed aside to spend time with Dean. He never realized how expectant he had become of their late night talks until Ash stopped by with a message from Dean.
He wouldn’t be able to meet that night because Dean’s father had him doing extra work because of all time he’d spent away from the Manor.
Whatever work the Commander had Dean doing in the middle of the night, Cas selfishly wanted it to stop.
Sam had started to notice a change in his older brother lately. For the past week or so, Dean had been in a better mood. Bobby even noticed the change in Dean.
He was happy and smiling, and for once, Dean was pleasant to be around. Which was even more odd considering how close it was to the date their mother died. By this time he should be sullen and reclusive, not the complete opposite.
When Dean came over to sit with him, Sam decided it was time to confront Dean.
“Hey, Sammy.”
“Hi, Dean.” Sam patted the grass next beside him wanting Dean to sit down.
His brother sat and looked at the scoring sheets in Sam’s hands. “How are the newbies doing?”
“Pretty good so far,” Sam saw that Dean turned to look back out at the current match between Cas and Benny. “We have some strong candidates for the final round of testing.”
Dean was still staring at the two men fighting, obviously enraptured by the movement.
“Did you hear me Dean?”
“Yeah, sure.” Dean replied still distracted by the match.
Sam had to admit it was more entertaining than watching the candidates compete. He noted that Benny was actually struggling to gain the upper hand against Cas. Sam was also sure that Dean hadn’t watched a match that closely the entire day.
It was another thing in the growing list of Dean’s odd behaviors.
Sam studied the match, then his brother, and finally the match again. Dean wasn’t watching both people; his gaze only followed one of them. Cas.
Everything suddenly made sense. All the changes started a little after Cas came to the Manor. At some point, Sam knew they had apologized and were now friends.
Dean seemed his happiest after spending a long time with Cas.
“Oh my gosh. You like him. You like Cas.”
“What?! No. I don’t- I,” Dean sputtered. He crossed his arms and pouted like a child. “I don’t like Cas, Sammy.”
Dean’s denial was all the proof Sam needed to prove his conclusion.
“I can see the way you look at him, Dean. Stop denying it.”
His brother’s face turned bright red, but his brows furrowed in concentration like he was trying to figure himself out. Maybe Dean didn’t even realize he had fallen for Cas.
Sam caught Cas peeking over in their direction. He thought back to when he and Cas were watching the beginning of training. Castiel’s expression while watching Dean mirrored Dean’s expression while he was watching Cas.
Another thing fell into place.
“Cas is just a friend.” Dean didn’t look like he believed his own words.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure Cas likes you too.”
“That’s not...he can’t...Cas hated me. I’ve only known him a month.”
“And now you two act like you’ve known each other your entire lives. Stranger things have happened.”
“Fine. I’m not not admitting to anything, I-”
“Like him.”
“Yes,” Dean answered quietly. He started to play with the long blades of grass near his feet.
“Maybe even love?”
“I don’t know about that, Sammy.”
Sam could tell his brother was resisting the urge to look back up at Cas.
“I think he’s good for you. Cas has already changed you, for the better, in what? Two weeks?” Dean nodded. “But, if you want whatever’s going on between you two to work, you’re gonna have to tell him.”
His brother’s head whipped around to look Sam in the eye. “I can’t, Sammy.” He sounded more dejected than angry.
“And I don’t just mean your feelings for Cas. You knew you were going to have to tell him at some point. Cas can’t stay in the dark forever.”
“If I tell Cas about the library, he’ll hate me and want to leave.”
“Or he will understand why you didn’t tell him and stay. He could even help us.”
“And go against everything he’s learned. Yeah, that’s gonna work out well.” Dean was starting to get frustrated with Sam again.
“It doesn’t matter if Cas ends up doing terrible to us, he still deserves the right to know.”
Dean physically deflated. He knew his brother was right. “Fine. I’ll tell him, but give me a couple days.”
Sam knew Dean would keep his promise. When everyone was leaving training, Sam tried not to look too triumphant.
Dean surprised Cas a few days later when he showed up at Castiel’s door again instead of Jo.
“I need to show you something.” It looked like it pained Dean to say the words. “Come with me.”
He had been avoiding Cas since the training session, and now was acting like his old self during Castiel’s first week at the Manor.
Cas unwillingly complied. He figured stress of the upcoming ball was starting to take a toll on Dean. He wouldn’t want to publicly celebrate his mother’s death either.
Dean lead Cas through a series of stairs and hallways until they finally stopped in front of a set of heavy wooden doors that were almost identical to the others throughout the Manor.
Castiel was not expecting to see library that he had never able to find on his on, behind the doors when Dean opened them.
The massive room was at least three stories tall with shelves along the walls from the floor to the ceiling. A metal spiral staircase in the far corner lead up to a walkway on the third level, and sliding ladders were attached to the walls to reach to books on the highest shelves on the first two stories. Old leather chairs and couches rested with a few lamps on one end of the room, and the other side contained long tables stacked high with books. The glass ceiling bathed the whole space in warm natural light.
Castiel rushed to the wall of books closest to him. He had never seen anything like it. Leather bound books from before the Third War rested next to the newest tablets preloaded with information. Entire collections of tomes and volumes and series were neatly organized in rows along the walls. Some of the books looked like they had never been opened. Others had their covers worn and their spines crack similar to Dean’s little red book that was still sitting on the corner of Castiel’s nightstand. Cas even found a section of shelves filled with novels for children.
Not even the library at Academy or in the Capital could compete with the Winchester’s collection.
“This is amazing, Dean.”
“My family has been collecting books since the end of the war, but this isn’t what I wanted to show you.” Dean walked over to where the wall was partially hidden by the staircase. He pulled down on a book on the shelf and part of the shelves swung outward. Dean gestured Castiel inside. “This is what I wanted you to see.”
The hidden area was less of a room and more of a large closet. There was enough space for the walls to be lined with shelves full of books like the rest of the library and a table with a few chairs.
Cas thought it was just an extension of the larger library until he took a closer look at the titles of the books resting on the shelves.
Cas wanted to deny what he saw. There was no logical reason for the Commander and his family to own books published by people apart of the Union resistance movement. Castiel learned from his father that false information like that should be destroyed on sight. Cas scanned a few more titles and recognized books and authors banned for promoting ideas that went against what the Union stood for.
“What is all this, Dean?”
“The truth.”
“I- I don’t understand.”
Dean looked at Castiel in the eye. “You don’t have to, just look at them, read a few, and know that I would never lie to you. You deserve to know what’s really happening in the world.”
Cas hesitated before nodding. Nothing Dean said made sense, but Dean left before Cas could ask him more questions.
Castiel didn’t know where to start, so he grabbed the closest thing to him. It was a report of all the crop production the from the countryside in last twenty years. At first Castiel thought there were two identical reports for each growing season, and then he noticed the numbers between the pages didn’t add up. One side suggested the harvests produced the average amount predicted for that year, and the other showed a decrease in food production that continued to fall as the years progressed. The first report boasted the official Union seal; the second supposedly came from the farmers themselves.
The deeper Cas dove into the forbidden information, the more it made sense over the things Castiel was taught growing up.
The small table soon filled with open books as Castiel racked his mind comparing the things he thought to be true and the things that were starting to look more like the actual truth. When Castiel found a book depicting various way the Union used propaganda to cheat the entire world, it was starting to get hard to reject what the information said.
Bobby’s words filtered in with the others flying around in his head. Pretty soon you’re gonna have to figure out what you believe for yourself.
Castiel realized he had seen the signs the entire time, but chose instead to deny them. Everything he knew before was now one big lie. He really had become just another brainwashed soldier in the Union’s army of deception.
Cas was found sitting on the cold hard floor with his knees pulled to his chest, tears in his eyes, and thin novel in his hands.
As soon as Cas had seen the tiny book, his world had finally completely shattered. Anna and Gabriel Milton had written it. They called their father out for all terrible things he had done as a general for the Union
Dean waited patiently for Cas to speak.
Castiel finished the book and hid his head in his arms. “What do you do when your whole life has been one huge lie?”
Dean went to stand in front of Cas and held out a hand to help him stand.
Cas looked up with watery eyes. “What do I do, Dean?”
“Let’s get out of here.” Dean spoke softly. “First you need to eat, then we can talk.”
Castiel forced himself to swallow a few spoonfuls of soup. Everytime he did, his stomach rolled and threatened to bring it all back up.
Dean let Cas have time to organize his thoughts.
“Are Anna and Gabriel really part of the rebellion against the Union?” Castiel’s voice cracked as he tried to hold fresh tears back. He hated feeling so pathetic.
“Do you trust me?”
Cas nodded, but he didn’t even himself at the moment.
“Yes. Anna and your brother Gabriel were part of the resistance movement. That’s why Crowley arrested Anna and brought her to the Manor. But that’s only part of the story.”
Castiel felt his insides twist. He didn’t think he could handle any new truths.
“Talks about rebellion have been happening for generations. Before my parents were married, my mother was a part of the resistance, and often tried to speak out against the Union. She kept it a secret from my father, but when he found out about it, he started to actually help her efforts. That’s why there’s all those people living in the village in the woods. They came to us for protection, because they knew my parents didn’t like the Union. My mother was trying to make the country a better place and it got her killed.”
Cas heard Dean’s voice start to waver at the end. He had so many questions forming on the tip of his tongue but didn’t interrupt Dean.
“Her death was made to look like an accident, and that’s went in the reports and on the news. But only Sam, my father, Bobby and Ellen, a few of the Guards, me, and now you know that she was murdered. My father spent the last two years of his life searching for my mother’s murderer, until he finally died from exhaustion and a broken heart. No one except the the people I trust the most know that the Commander is dead too.”
Castiel’s head began to spin. “Your father’s dead? But how is-”
“I was already helping my dad a lot when I was eighteen. My father was never the same after my mother died, he was misdirecting so much of his energy that he’d forgotten about running the country long before he died. Bobby’s been helping cover up the fact that I’ve been the one making decisions and reporting to the Union. When I turn twenty-one in January, I can officially announce my position as Commander.”
“But why doesn’t anyone know about this? Governing a nation is too much for a teenager.”
“Because I had no choice, Cas. Because I have to protect Sam, and protect what my parents started, and protect the people that are oblivious to the destruction around them. I just need to hold out for a few more months. Then everything will be okay.”
Castiel didn’t know what to think. He felt lost, but more importantly he felt empathy for Dean. It was clear to see Dean was just as lost as he was. The weight of the world was too much for one person, and since Cas had to rebuild his world, he didn’t see why he could help Dean fix his.
“I want to help.”
Dean looked surprised. “I thought you’d never want to never want to speak to me again, after lying so much to you.”
“No, Dean. You’re the only person who hasn’t lied to me. You helped me, showed me the truth. And now I want to help you.”
Cas and Dean accidentally fell asleep on the couches in the library. Sam found them and made them back to their own rooms to get cleaned up.
Everything thing Cas saw was now viewed through a new perspective. It wasn’t formed from years at Academy or lessons from his father. Castiel thought for himself, free from the mold he spent years trying to fit into.
Dean let Cas in on everything he did after the confession in the library. He asked Cas to join him in meetings with Bobby and wanted his opinions on how to fix the problems the nation faced.
Cas was expecting something to change between him and Dean. He thought Dean was waiting for something to happen too. But then there was nothing standing in between them anymore. Castiel could honestly admit they had grown closer instead of drifting apart.
One afternoon while Dean and Cas were studying maps of the territories in far north, two Guards entered the room. Castiel had met all the the Guards at the Manor by that time, but these two were unknown to him. One of them was young and held a several notebooks close to his chest, the other was extremely tall with long limbs, big eyes, and a tiny chin. Everything looked out of proportion.
Dean recognized them instantly and left his seat swiftly to greet the two men.
“Garth, Kevin, this is my friend Cas.” Dean said as he introduced the Guards to Cas. “Cas, this is Garth and Kevin. They are my liaisons at Union Headquarters. Garth specializes in negotiations, and Kevin is a translator.”
Castiel had always wondered what it would be like to go to the Union Headquarters. Each nation sent representatives to discuss politics under the watchful eye of Union officials. Very few people out of the selected group ever knew what went on in the inside.
“Do you have any news?” Dean asked the two Guards.
The taller one, Garth, looked over cautiously to Cas, “Does he know?”
“Yes. Anything you want to say to me can be said in front of Cas.”
“Garth and I stumbled upon some information about a possible plan for the Union to increase uncover patrols searching for protesters,” said Kevin.
“Thank for you the warning. I’ll make sure to get the warning out, and I’m guessing you’re going back to Headquarters after the party?”
Both Guards nodded.
Dean told them to take some time to relax before they had to leave again, and then dismissed them from the room. Cas went back to the table covered in maps, with Dean following closely behind him.
They worked in comfortable silence the rest of the night until Jo came to collect them for dinner.
----
Castiel woke up to loud and incessant knocking on his door. When he opened it, a frantic looking Dean stood on the other side.
“It’s three days until the ball, and I just realized you don’t have anything appropriate to wear.” Dean brushed past Cas on his way to the closet. A few seconds later Dean re-emerged and threw a pile of clean clothes at Cas. “Get dressed. We have to go see Missouri.”
Castiel didn’t know what to expect when they arrived at the woman’s tiny house in the village. All Dean told him was that Missouri was a seamstress for his mother, and after her death retired to the village behind the Manor. And although she didn’t work full-time any more, Missouri still helped the Winchester brothers whenever they needed her. She was the one who repaired his riding cloak.
The old woman smiled warmly at the pair when she opened the door. “I was wondering when you’d come back, Dean. I need to see if your suit fits properly after all the changes I made.” Then she directed her focus on Cas. “You must be Castiel. I’ve been waiting to meet you. Did you like the cloak?”
“Yes, very much. Thank you for fixing it.”
“No, it was my pleasure.” She lead them into front parlor-like room. “I’m guessing Castiel needs a suit?”
Dean shamefully nodded his head.
“You better be lucky, boy, that I worked for your mamma and’ve known you since the day you were born.” Missouri scolded Dean, but when she turned to Cas she directed a motherly smile at him. “Come on, Honey. Let’s go find you something to wear.”
Missouri had him stand in the middle of a room across the hall from where she left Dean waiting alone. She dressed Cas in the skeleton of a jacket and pants, then started to pin to different pieces to it to create a custom tailored suit. Castiel had never worn something so carefully constructed. Missouri’s skill and decades of working was evident in how quickly everything was coming together.
Castiel watched as the woman’s long skirt and apron swirled around her legs when she puttered around the room gathering various tools and pieces of cloth. At first, Castiel thought the suit was purely black, until he saw it had dark blue undertones in the sunlight.
“You’ll have to forgive Dean,” she said in the middle of working. “He’s always been too stubborn for his own good. It always takes forever for things to get through his thick head.”
Missouri eventually took the jacket and pants off of Cas, so she could properly sew it together. She told him it would be finished sometime in the next day and that she would find someone to deliver it to the Manor.
Then Missouri called Dean in for his final fitting. Cas could hear her admonishing Dean from the other room, but the words were too muffled to figure out specifically what Missouri was telling Dean.
When Castiel woke the next morning, the suit was hanging in the front of his closet. Someone had even laid out a matching undershirt, waistcoat, shoes and tie for him to wear. As he looked over Missouri’s work, Cas noticed she had added subtle embroidered details that echoed the star pattern on his cloak. He thought Anna’s ring would look good with the suit and slipped the chain around his neck for the first time in weeks
During the rest of the day, the entire Manor was filled with people rushing around to finish the final preparations. Most of the attention was focused on the ballroom and extended outwards. The windows were washed again, all the crystal and gold was reshined, the floors were swept again. Castiel made the mistake of entering the kitchen and got roped in helping Ellen and Jo polish silver platters and checking all the champagne flutes for smudges. The Manor’s main foyer was the next busiest place. Castiel avoided going anywhere near it after he learned his lesson in the kitchen.
All the scrambling paid off in the end. The Manor looked like the definition of perfection the time the first guests passed through gates the day of the party.
Castiel felt out of place at first. He blended in the large mass of people forming in the ballroom, but he didn’t feel like he belonged with them anymore. Cas wondered if the men and women standing next to him knew the things he did.
Dean’s nervousness in the days leading up to the ball was nonexistent as he acted like the perfect host. Whenever Dean could, he introduced Cas to people who he’d befriended in the last couple years. Chuck was a journalist for the Union and hated his job. He also wasn’t afraid to tell Cas his grievances against the Union in a place that everyone else could hear them.
Cas only managed to talk to Dean’s friend, Charlie, a software engineer who had help Ash design the Manor’s security system, for a few minutes because eventually the resemblance to his older sister grew too much for him. The other woman, Pamela, that Dean had introduced to Cas was interesting to say the least.
He saw people he knew from the Manor in the room too. Bobby was conversing with a group of older men, and Sam was giving puppy-dog looks to a girl with long, curly blonde hair.
Jo, Ash, and Benny were dressed up and undercover. They never let Cas, Sam, or Dean out of their sight for more than a few seconds at a time.
Cas managed to speak to Dean a few times in between the time it took for the small orchestral ensemble to move into the next piece and an old friend of Mary Winchester asked to dance with Dean. In one of the breaks, Dean told him that Sam was talking to Jess, the girl his brother had fallen in love when they were only children. To Castiel it seemed like the attraction between the two teenagers had never faded. They were never far from each other’s side.
Castiel became a people watcher the rest. He stayed near the edges of the crowd, catching parts of conversations as people passed by him.
At one point, Cas noticed Dean slip outside onto the ballroom’s low terrace. He knew it was getting close to the time for Dean’s speech. Dean needed to apologize for his father’s absence, and say a few words in his mother’s memory. As Castiel made his way outside to join Dean, he thought he caught a glimpse of Crowley wading in and out of the masses near the walls of the ballroom. Cas didn’t remember Dean mentioning Crowley’s name on the list of Union officials attending the party.
Seeing Dean outside reminded Castiel of something, but he couldn’t quite grasp the memory. The setting sun silhouetted Dean’s body against a backdrop of dark trees and the sunset reflected onto the lake’s water. Cas could hear the music from inside drifting along in the breeze.
“Are you okay, Dean?” Castiel stood close enough to Dean so that their shoulders were touching.
The man drew his attention away from whatever he had been staring at. His green eyes were clear and bright. “I just needed some time to think.”
They looked out at the setting sun together. Cas could feel every tiny point of contact between Dean’s body and his own. The strange feeling that had been residing in his chest clicked into place.
“Can I ask you something?”
Castiel thought back to the first time Dean asked him that question. “Yes.”
“And you promise to answer honestly?”
“Of course, Dean.”
“I’m...Do you-” Dean paused as he struggled to figure out what to say. Cas had never seen him at such a loss for words. “Have you ever thought about going back to your old life? Back when you lived with your sister and trained at the Academy? Would you go back if given the option?”
Cas thought about his answer thoroughly before replying. “I did at first, but then I realized my life this past month at the Manor has been better than the past nineteen years. So, no, even given the option, I wouldn’t want to go back to my old life.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“Dean, I am happy. I’m happy here.”
“Even with me around?”
“Especially with you. Nothing would be the same without you in my life at the moment.”
“So you’d be willing to permanently stay at the Manor...with me.”
“I would love to, Dean.”
Dean’s face lit up at Castiel’s words.
“Then there’s something else you need to know.” He sounded like he was trying to keep his hopefulness contained. “Cas, I-”
A Guard walking out onto the terrace interrupted Dean. “An urgent message was left for Castiel. It from someone named Anna.” The Guard handed Cas a small slip of paper. His heart sunk the more he read.
“What’s wrong, Cas.”
“Anna says she’s being watched by two men in Union uniforms. She needs me.”
“Let me come with you. I can help.”
“She said to come alone, so I wouldn’t attract attention. Besides, your place is here, Dean. I never really belonged in that world.”
Dean’s whole person changed. His back and shoulders stiffened, and his face became carefully blank. He took a step back from Cas. “No, you’re right.”
“Dean, I didn’t mean it in that way. Maybe she’ll be fine. I’ll stay at the Manor.”
Dean slowly shook his head. His reply made Castiel’s heart clench, “But you did mean it like that. Now, go.”
Castiel took a few steps towards the stairs that lead down to the garden and stables but stopped. “What were you going to say before you were interrupted.”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
Cas didn’t trust himself to look back again at Dean. It would’ve been impossible for him to leave if he saw the sadness etched across Dean’s face.
Anna’s house was dark when he entered. The letter said his sister would be waiting for him inside. Cas checked all the rooms, but no one was home.
A loud crashing sound coming from the the small barn behind the house drew Castiel outside. He thought that maybe Anna was hiding in there. It was too dark to see inside the barn.
“Anna?”
She gasped from somewhere inside. “No Castiel. Don’t co-”
Rough hands shoved Cas into the barn before Anna could finish her warning. A final thump filled the air, and then everything went completely silent.
Castiel whipped around and lunged for the door, but it was locked and barred from the outside. He rattled the metals bars on the windows in frustration.
A figure stepped out from the shadows of Anna’s house. It was Crowley.
“Don’t bother trying, Castiel. Dean’s going to die, and you can’t do anything to stop it.”
Cas shook the heavy doors again, but they didn’t budge. “Let me go!”
He could see the light fading from the sky through the bars covering windows of the barn. Castiel thought of Dean standing alone on the balcony, the joy slipping from his face as Dean let him walk away. Cas should fought have fought harder to stay.
“I have men on way to the Manor right now. Even if you did get out of there, you’d be too late.” Crowley looked too smug.
The man walked away and left Cas sitting in the dark with his sister.
“I’m sorry. I tried to warn you.. ” Cas could see tears forming in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Cas couldn’t breathe. “Anna, I have to get to Dean. I need to save him.” He slowly slid to the dirt floor.
“Why have you started to care so much?” His sister joined him on the ground.
“Because I...I love him Anna.” Cas had never left relieved before, but his worry for Dean increased.
Sounds of someone trying to open the door pulled Cas out of his troubling thoughts.
“Jo?” The Guard stood in the opened doorway. Castiel was never as glad to see her as he was in that moment. “How did you find us?”
“I followed you after I saw you leave the balcony. I want to know why you broke Dean’s heart.”
“What? I-” Cas paused to pulled Anna up from the ground. “That doesn’t matter right now, I have to save Dean."
Cas ran to his horse before either of the girls could stop him.
----
It started to storm as Castiel raced back to the Manor. He knew Anna and Jo were trailing behind him.
But they didn’t understand what was about to happen. They didn’t know everything had been set up so Dean would be alone. Alone long enough for Dean to be killed.
The Manor was in utter chaos when he finally made it back. Union Officers had the Manor surrounded. Cas had to fight his way to the ballroom through the crowd of escaping civilians. He saw the Manor Guards desperately trying to hold the Union officers back.
Cas didn’t see Dean anywhere in the room. Dread filled his body like lead weights. He hoped Dean and the others had gotten to a safe place. Castiel couldn’t lose any of them.
After searching the entire ballroom, he bolted across the dancefloor to the doors leading out to where Cas had last seen Dean.
He searched the back gardens, though the pouring rain was making it difficult to see any further than a few yards in the distance. Relief flooded his system when he spotted Dean, unharmed, walking from the stables to the trees at the end of the gardens.
It left again when Cas saw one of Crowley’s men following behind Dean.
Instinct took control of Castiel’s body as he flew across the gardens to Dean. Cas thought he heard someone calling out to him, but nothing mattered at the moment except for Dean. He didn’t want to be haunted by the feeling of failing Dean if he wasn’t able to save him.
Everything unfolded in front of Cas in slow motion.
First the Officer aimed a gun at the Dean's Back. Cas called out to Dean, but it was raining too hard for Dean to hear him.
Dean turned around too late.
He threw himself in front of Dean, and the Officer pulled the trigger.
Castiel’s body burst with pain until everything went numb.
A second shot rang out as Cas crumbled to the hard ground. He knew Dean was yelling for help and talking to him, but he couldn’t distinguish Dean’s voice from the blood rushing in his ears. He could feel his body being carefully cradled to Dean's chest, and the man putting pressure on his stomach. But Cas couldn’t feel the warmth from Dean’s hands.
“It was my turn to save you.” Like the time he was attacked by the wolf, Cas knew he about to die. He didn’t know if the words ever made it out of his mouth. “I love you, Dean.”
Everything slowly faded to black.
----
A single tear fell from the corner of Dean’s eye. It splashed onto Castiel’s cheek.
“No, Cas. Stay with me. Please.” His normally steady voice cracked. “You can’t leave me. You promised you’d stay."
He hugged Castiel body closer to him and yelled at anyone who dared to come near them.
“Please, Cas. Don’t die. You can’t.
Dean’s whole world was crashing down. He never got the chance to tell Cas he loved him.
“That’s terrible! Love stories can't end like that, Mommy. They have to live happily ever after and get married and do gross grown up stuff. Dean and Cas can’t have a happy ending if one of them is dead!” The little girl angrily whispered to her mother. She didn’t want to wake up her little brother already asleep beside her.
“You didn’t let me finish.” The mother said. “If you’d let me continue, you would’ve found out that Cas didn’t die. Jody and Bobby managed to revive him. Once Cas got better, they both admited they love each other. Then on Dean’s twenty-first birthday, he announces the start of the Revolution, and his allies around the world revolted with him to dismantle the Union. Eventually Dean and Cas got married and had their own happy ending.”
The girl looked puzzled. “Is that all true? About Granddad and Grandpa? And Uncle Sammy and everyone else? Is that really how they really fell in love?”
“Yes, all that did really happen. Now it’s time for you to go to sleep. The story is finished.”
Out of all the love stories the woman knew, the story about her fathers would always be her favorite. Nothing in all of history could boast itself better than the love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak.
“Mamma.”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“If that’s the story about how Grandpa and Granddad met each other, then when do you come in?” The girl’s words were slightly slurred with sleep. She slowly rubbed her tired eyes.
The mother laughed softly.
“That, my darling, is a story for another night.”