At least one of these statements is false.

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The bottles 1,000,000 Scoville "hot sauce" comes in are glass, and remarkably fragile.

Itty-bitty typing space. Unhappiness is fixing server problems over an SSH connection … from a BlackBerry. Which round-trips all the packets from here (Singapore) to Greenwich and back (for security purposes). And to the RIM mothership in Waterloo, too, for all I know. It'd certainly account for the 500ms lag on typing…

What the hell are UPS's business policies based on, some Ozzie and Harriet paradigm? I fail to understand how any modern city-dweller is supposed to get anything of value from a company which only delivers on weekdays and can't give you a window narrower than six hours. Welcome to the new century. Nobody's home.