The Long Day Of Pink (final)
Title: The Long Day Of Pink
Pairing: ean/Castiel, mentions of Sam/Lucifer
Warning: eferences to dark themes
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: one/ total AU
Word count: 7, 847
Notes: asically it's a very early (or a very late, depends on your point of view) Valentine's fic. The fic is finished, it's only been divided into two parts, because Livejournal says it's too big to post. Demon!Dean, Angel!Cas, Hell/Heaven universe
Summary Valentine's was always a troublesome time for hell. It was just Dean's luck that Sam made the brilliant suggestion he ask a certain angel out on a make-believe date. Like all plans, something had to go wrong. Probably for the better, though.
Dean shuffled his way around the multiple chairs and tables finding a good enough spot. There really wasn't any particular spot you could pick out. It was infinite space. Infinite. As in, any spot is as good as any other spot. There were no tables by the windows, as there were no windows. There was no secluded corner for there were no corners.
Rows of white, cube shaped tables and a chair or two around them, black and white tiles floor. It actually was a diner, where you could actually order and get food. Top it all off, there were no Valentine's decorations.
Purgatory was pretty much the Switzerland of all planes.
He took a seat by random and gave himself some time, let Castiel squirm around up there for a bit.
He picked up the menu and fiddled around with it, biting his lip while he thought. Food sounded great right now, and it had been a while since he'd eaten out.
Last time had been that dinner with Sam and Lucifer, and that was just a very unfortunate event. One not to dwell on.
He settled on the cheeseburger and fries and a salad for the angel. He knew how Cas liked his burgers and thought it funny to watch him drool. With a smirk he waved in the waiter and gave the order.
Sitting back down, he roamed his eyes over the other patrons, taking account of whoever was to see them.
A lot of humans definitively. Some angels and demons scattered around. Two male demons who were seemingly on a date here, going by the way their hands kept touching. Two female-bodied angels who were definitively on a date here, going by the way they were eating each other's faces off.
The last one got him confused.
Cas was Dean's model of what angels were like. Which meant they were :emotionless, unaware, prudish, stuck up, self-worthy and just plainly stupid. But the angel-girls looked like they were having fun, looked lively. Happy.
He shook his head to clear it from any unwanted thoughts and got to business.
'Cas, I'm-'
"You're late."-He slowly opened an eye, already regretting his decision to continue this date.
Cas sat opposite him, looking far more rumpled than before. His hair was an even bigger mess than usual, sticking out in odd ends. Like he'd been running his hands through it for the past 2 hours.
"You know, with all that frowning, your face can get stuck like that."- Dean propped his arm on the table leaning his head on his hand, to give a smirk at the fuming angel.
"Are you attempting humor on my account, or are you just that stupid?"-Oh, Oh, he was even doing the squinty eyes of righteous anger!
"Are you attempting an insult on my account?"-Dean grinned, already loving the game they had going on. He always won in insulting Cas. Always.
"Then you must be stupid, to have to ask me that."-Dean's eyes widened. This was not an opener for further insult, he basically just told him to fuck off. He could feel the rush of a fight coming on, his blood pulsing with the need to slam some respect into the angel.
He would have gone through with it if the waiter didn't show up.
"Oh, well, here's your order... Ah, sirs."-The waiter fumbled with his words, obviously caught off guard at the sight before him. He smiled nervously at Castiel, switching his glance back to Dean before rushing back.
He must have recognized them, or maybe just him, maybe Cas. Either way he ran off to mumble something in another passing waiter's ear. Dean watched with cold eyes as the other one shot a wide-eyed glance to them which melted into a wide smile.
Dean was at a loss as to what was happening, decided to switch his attention to the much grumpy angel.
He saw Cas eyeing the burger with a combination of utter sadness and contempt.
Job well done, Dean smiled proud at himself and picked up a fry to munch on. Cas' eyes followed the movement and he could even see his throat bob with hunger.
Job well done indeed.
"Eat your salad, Cas."- He might have been pushing it, but whatever. He was set on making this a fun night out, and nothing was more amusing than psychologically torturing Cas.
The angel cast him a glance of pure hate.
"I don't eat, Dean."
"You eat burgers. Thought a salad might shake things up a bit for your diet. It would be rude to leave it untouched." -Dean took a big bite out of his cheese dripping burger, giving a groan just to show Cas what he was missing.
"It would be more rude to order for a person without knowing his preference." -Wow, Cas was on a role here. Were they giving out pamphlets to angels up in heaven? Like, 'Good comebacks you don't have to wipe from your mom's chin!'
"I was going for chivalry here, but fine with me if you're gonna be ungrateful."-Dean shook his head, giving his best to look the disappointment he feigned.
He was amazed when Cas actually took a fork from his salad. As if he were humoring him.
His eyes were trained on Castiel as he slowly chewed through the greens with that expression of concentration. It was always a strange sight to see Cas eating. He didn't do it much, only if prompted and pushed by Dean.
Castiel's throat bobbed, signifying a bite taken, and Dean watched steadily for the verdict.
"It is... fresh."- Castiel gave his unasked answer in an uncertain tone, as if he may have been wrong.
He figured he liked doing that with Cas. Teaching him to try new things. He felt momentarily disgusted with himself at finding something he enjoyed while with the angel. With a simple nod he returned to his food.
They ate in silence for a while, the quiet buzz of the diner around them and the clanking of Cas' fork the only noise. It made Dean uncomfortable, as silence in the company of the angel always did. He understood he thought a lot in those silences. Thoughts he wasn't exactly comfortable with, so he decided to break it before his mind got the best of him.
"So, uh, you think we'll get some case soon?" -He tried thinking up some smart-ass remark to toss at Cas but he was left uninspired.
"A prophet's 18th birthday is to be in a month and 27 days. I assume we would be sent to inform him of his duties and responsibilities."- Castiel swallowed his bite and spoke as in deep thought.
"There is also the matter of Sam and Lucifer's anniversary. Zachariah informed me that I am to keep watch of Heaven's gate during the celebrations in Hell."-Dean nodded as he listened along.
The month long party that followed the many, many and many to come anniversaries were always misfortune for the Heaven and Hell soldiers. It was hard to keep track of every demon and angel, so trouble was on the rise. Cas was always alongside other Seraphim guarding the gate to assure no angels were leaving heaven without the proper authorization, and no demons were sneaking into Heaven. Dean couldn't be given a job during the celebrations for he was family, and family meant he had to actually take part in said celebrations. He always felt drained during those times and never looked forward to participating.
"Yeah, I hear ya... Did you have any problems last time?"-Well, at least he could get something out of this 'date'. He was interested in knowing if there was an attempt to sabotage the manifestation, or something of the like. Lucifer was very careful that Dean was left completely detached from work, making sure that all information was denied to him.
"A group of newly made demons wanted access to Heaven. They asked to see what it was like, and we denied. I wouldn't consider that a problem." -Castiel explained matter-of-factly, and Dean hummed in understanding. Everybody seemed to be getting along better. He felt sort of proud that demons weren't messing up so much.
"How is Sam?"-Castiel asked in that particularly bleak way.
Talking about Sam was always weird for Dean.
Yeah, he got it, he was second in command, Lucifer's right hand, his life-partner and whatnot, and there really wasn't anything special to talk about there. All the demons always pried about what he knew on a personal level about Sam and Lucifer, and asked the most obscene questions.
He actually didn't mind talking with Cas about Sam.
The angel never pushed further than 'How is Sam?' He never asked about Lucifer, he never mentioned their sex life, he never tried fishing out private information about running hell. As if, he was only interested in Sam as his brother.
"Talked to him today..."-Dean spoke as he switched over to his fries, his burger long-gone.
"He's good. You know that Valentine's is always hard on us, but him and Lucifer are trying to keep everything under control. So far so good."- He gulped down the fries and just then realized he was actually having a civil conversation with the angel. He really hated having those.
He cast a glance at Castiel, thinking quickly of some offense, even a lame one, anything to stir the comfortable atmosphere they had going, when he saw Castiel had his eyes trained on something behind him.
And whatever it was, it wasn't pretty.
Cas looked panicked. He never panicked unless it was really, really bad.
"What is it and how do I kill it?"- Dean leaned forward, whispering. Whoever thought it was smart to try messing with them was one stupid son of a bitch.
And just as he was thinking through all the possible ways to banish, kill, torture he had a set of lips moving rapidly over his.
Putting his hands on Cas' shoulders he tried pushing away, but two hands took hold of his head keeping him in place. He hated to admit it, but the angel was in fact stronger than him. He had his tricks, but he couldn't overpower him using sheer strength.
He opened his mouth in the awful excuse of a kiss to yell, shout, curse, do anything to explain that what was happening was wrong, so very, very wrong, and bad, and not working, which was just a good opening for Cas to slip his tongue in.
And this is where things got weird.
Something changed. Cas' tactics changed.
Instead of that full blown assault, he was... Gentle. Dean could feel Cas' chapped lips as they moved over his own, soft and plush, his tongue lazily working in his mouth, caressing, being sensual. The hands that gripped him changed position. One lingered on his cheek, guiding his head to follow his movements, the other buried in his hair, fingers lazily massaging his scalp.
He felt hot. Whatever was happening, he found himself enjoying it.
Dean's hands fell around Cas' neck, one hand playing with his messy hair, the other holding on tightly for the ride. He could feel everything, and everything felt like too much and not enough. He was getting too much information and not enough explanation.
Information like, how soft the angel's hair was. How his lips were dry. How his stubble grazed his cheeks. How solid, how hard he felt under his hands. How his fingers were bony. How he smelt like pine, and earth, and rain. How he tasted like that salad he ate. 'Fresh' was the word he used, and something underneath, something peculiar, something so Cas. And that energy. His strength was rumbling just beneath his skin, making Dean's eyes flutter black.
And just as a moan was threatening to escape him, he found himself gently, but firmly pushed back in his seat.
He breathed loudly, his mouth still hanging open from the intrusion, spit shining his lips, body slack as he tried picking up the sense to concentrate on what was going on.
His eyes finally focused and found the angels sitting upright, shoulders hunched as they usually were, only he wasn't so put together as he tried to be. His eyes betrayed him, pupils blown wide, his lips puffy and pink, hair a messy disarray.
"Cas, um... What?"- Dean gave an aborted hand movement, trying to sound his confusion and ended up sounding so wrecked, he would sign himself up for torture later.
"The Cupids. The Cupids came. Mine, and what I assume was yours. Gabriel... Gabriel told me to kiss you if they would happen to track us down. That would chase them off. Gabriel told me that."- Castiel stuttered his way through the explanation, cheeks growing redder by the second.
"Cas, that's... The Trickster?"- He felt something twist inside him, something deep that made him want to hurt the angel.
"Gabriel... Yes."-Cas looked scared. And that brought up so many conflicting emotions in the demon, but he chose to concentrate on only one.
"That's not an excuse, Castiel!"- He raised his voice to a startling level, spitting the angel's full name.
"You don't get to touch me! You don't have the fucking right!"- He shook a threatening finger in the angel's face, his face twisting into a grimace of intense hatred.
"You fucking child, mentally challenged brat!"- He leaped up from his seat to just get his hands on the angel, and hurt, hurt him so badly they wouldn't recognize him up in Heaven, but the space was left empty.
Castiel had done his vanishing act, and Dean was left with his hands reaching for empty air.
Just then he realized the whole diner was staring after him. The humans cowered behind their tables, some just standing up and speed-walking away to another table, others frozen in fear.
The two demons he remembered just watched him with a look of utter disappointment, their fucking hands still holding onto each other.
The one thing that reminded him it was the right time for him to leave, were the angel-girls.
Both stood from their table, turned to face him completely looking like they were waiting for just one more word to pounce on him.
He left before he could make any more trouble, but decided that kicking a chair didn't really qualify as trouble.
-/-
'Dean, we really need to talk.'
'Dean, please, this is just childish.'
'Dean, please, please, just call me, please come up, please let me see you.'
Dean leaned on the table were his torture instruments were splayed out, checking his voicemail. It really shouldn't have surprised him that there were 58 messages waiting for him since he put off checking his phone in what was maybe a week. And it's not like any message was different than the other. All were just from Sam whining about where he was.
With a sigh he set on picking up the dirtiest, most unsanitary, rusty, germ spreading, infection causing torture device he could find to have fun with his latest victim.
Thirty eight year old man that dated a 16 year old girl, ended up beating her to death after finding out she used birth control.
And humans had the balls to call them monsters.
He turned to the gagged man, muffled voice and shaking head as he made the walk towards him, a long bowie knife tapping against his hand, a smirk full of satisfaction at the sight before him.
"Wonderful job"-The voice that piped up behind his back had him on edge.
He turned unwillingly, knowing this moment was bound to come. Even so, it didn't ease his mind at all.
"Lucifer."-Dean nodded in acknowledgment, momentarily forgetting about the clanking chains of the bound man.
"No need to sound so excited."-He purred the words, hands buried in his jeans as he made his way towards Dean.
"I'm not."
"I can see that."- Lucifer took a stand right before Dean, giving him a steady look that made him feel small.
"Give me the knife."- He opened his palm, and Dean didn't really have any choices here. Sure, he could fight, but it was a lost battle from the very beginning. He handed the knife, which Lucifer put right back on the table.
Cold blue eyes watched him in silence before a hand was put on his shoulder and he found himself away from the secluded torture chamber and in Lucifer's living room.
"Sit down, Dean."- Unaffected, Lucifer gestured to the sofa.
With a sigh Dean sat down for the inevitable. He never felt comfortable alone in Lucifer's presence. He understood that Sam was involved with him, but that didn't imply he had to like the guy.
Lucifer sat on the table in front of him, resting his arms on his knees. Dean shifted in his seat feeling like a child about to be scolded by his father.
"Sam has been very worried, Dean. I've been worried too."-Lucifer said softly, and that's just great, he was even treated like a child.
"Good for you then..."-Dean mumbled.
"No, not good."-Lucifer stretched his back, arms falling at his sides with a long and tired sigh.
"I understand you were, mildly put, surprised during your time with Castiel."- Good, now everyone knew what happened. Awesome.
"Mildly put, yeah."-He nodded.
"Dean... I love your brother."-Ok, things were getting pretty weird pretty fast.
"You have the general knowledge of that, but I don't think you really understand it. I love Sam. I feel love and care for him. I am capable of both love and hate. I am both angel and demon."-Dean was taking in Lucifer's carefully picked words. He was aiming at something here.
"I would never hurt your brother. Never. We were made for each other. In all the past millennia and the many to come, he will be the only partner I will have. He will be the only partner I could have."-Lucifer paused and gave him a significant look he couldn't decipher.
"For we are destined. I have complete control of hell and all demons, but I don't have control over my destiny. We can't pick who we love, Dean. We can pick how we love, and how we react to love, we can even deny love, but we can't change it."-He licked his lips before continuing.
"I remember Castiel. He was very young when I, uh... fell. He is special, Dean. He's got something other angels don't. He's got a lot to give to you. You can't tell me he doesn't accommodate you. He caters to you. You blind yourself on purpose, Dean. I can't figure out why you would toss away happiness, but I need you to realize that you deserve it. And you are being unfair to Castiel by denying yourself this."- Lucifer finished with a nod, still staring at Dean who kept quiet.
He didn't like this. He didn't like being forced to face all of this.
"I'll figure it out. I just need time."-He settled for that. He didn't want to open up that damn of conflicting emotions and thoughts right in front of Lucifer, for he didn't know what awaited there.
"Just make sure you're not late. Don't use eternity as an excuse."- He smiled, and Dean gave a meek smile in return.
Maybe he did need the confirmation that Sam wasn't going to be hurt. Maybe a lingering fear that something was going to get twisted in their relationship kept him from trusting Lucifer. He felt what he supposed was gratitude for the fallen angel.
"Now go clean up that dried blood, Sam's gonna be home soon."-
Fuck, he'd have to have a long heart to heart with him too.
-/-
Three days after talking with Lucifer and something around a week after the Cas fiasco, Dean found himself splayed on the couch trying to make a decision.
He was still uncomfortable with himself, but he decided to be brave and face the facts.
Of course, he couldn't do it alone.
"Cas..."-He croaked the word before continuing.
"Cas, get down here."-He opened his eyes expectantly but no one was there. Cas wasn't having it...
Swallowing past the lump in his throat he tried a different approach.
"Cas, can you please come?"-Honestly, he was desperate. It hurt to admit it, but he was desperate to make things right. To at least try.
"I really want-need to talk to you, so please, I wanna say I'm-I'm sorry."-His face twisted with effort. He was a demon, demons were never sorry. But the thing is, he was.
His heart leaped as he heard that all too familiar sound, that slight flutter of wings. His eyes wide open he was greeted by the sight of Cas with that ever present frown. A deep sigh of relief escaped him, straightening up from his slouch.
"What is it, Dean?"-Castiel deadpanned, and it just felt so good to be able to see the angel, to hear him, when he'd feared he'd never have the chance again.
"Cas... Can you sit down?"-Dean shifted on the sofa, patting a hand next to him. He needed to be as direct as possible, tell everything like it is.
The angel eyed Dean's hand before cautiously taking a seat as far from Dean as possible, his side pushing into the armrest.
"Cas, about what happened-"
"I understand what I did was out of line, and that I shouldn't have taken advice from Gabriel, and that I need to gain understanding of personal spa-"
"Cas, I-I liked it!"-Dean burst through the monotone rumble of Cas' voice. He didn't need Cas' apologies, that wasn't the problem here.
The angel's eyes widened slightly his eye betraying disbelief.
"Yeah, you shouldn't have jumped me, but I'm glad you did. And-And I'm sorry for what I said."-He had to fight not to cringe at his own words.
"I don't think I understand...Is this, another one of your jokes?"- Cas' brows furrowed, and fuck, he couldn't do anything right.
"No, no, no! I'm trying out being honest with you. And, uh, with myself."-Dean scratched a hand over his face. Why was this so fucking hard?
"Listen just... Can you listen for a minute?"
"Ofcourse, Dean."-Ok, here goes.
"When you uh, when I got angry it was because, well, it was because a lot of things really..."-So far not so good.
"Cas, I'm a demon. I'm not used to having emotions other than hate and anger and everything that falls under the same group. I left those feelings, and hopes when I died and became this."-He gestured to himself.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do here, how I'm supposed to react. But, I wanted you to know that that's my problem, and you don't have to feel guilty for anything. I just, I thought you should know..."-He left it at that, feeling beyond embarrassed.
"I'm also an angel, Dean. I'm not supposed to have any feeling of any kind."-Dean's head shot up as Castiel began speaking. He was relieved when he found no trace of pity or disgust in the angel's eyes.
"And... And this is troubling me too. I think I may have, um, feelings for you. I too, don't know what to do."-So, Cas was... Cas kind of, not exactly, reciprocated, or something. It was little to go on with, but it was a start.
"I guess we're both a little lost here..."-Dean chuckled at his weak joke, but he wanted to smile, wanted to give a little laugh. He felt relieved in so many ways, and maybe even a little bit happy.
"Seems so."-Castiel too gave a meek smile, and damn if it wasn't cute, and if it didn't make Dean want to kiss him. Which was a good idea actually.
"So, um, can I kiss you?"- He hoped he wasn't taking it too far, hoped his stupidity and eagerness wouldn't ruin what was just beginning.
"I would like that, yes."-With a nod, Dean slid towards the angel, who turned his body to meet Dean's, and holy fuck, did he really want this. Those expectant blue eyes, closing softly, dark lashes and soft, pliant lips were all his to witness and have. He couldn't help but smile as he closed his lips over the slightly parted ones of Castiel. Fuck, this was just so... perfect. Kissing someone, not torturing, not hurting, just feeling good with someone.
He inched closer, just itching to get more, touch more, feel more. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders effectively pushing their chest together. The feel of the angel's hands on his waist had him arching his back, moaning into the kiss.
Dean found himself getting a bit too carried away, thoughts straying way past the couch, so this was where things needed to stop.
He cut the kiss short with a gasp, and just then realized he'd effectively nestled himself in the angel's lap.
"Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"-What? It was a legit question.
"I learned it from the pizza man."-Who knew that voice could go even lower. Either way he liked it.
"What pizza man?"-Either Cas kissed his mind away, or he was seriously missing something.
"From a pornographic movie."- Dean dropped his head on the angel's shoulder as he laughed at the absurdity of the statement. Cas. Watching porn. Cas.
He laughed through it, but then it hit him.
"Wait, not from... Experience?"-He had to know.
"I did kiss you before. Is that considered experience?"- Cas gave him that doe-eyed look, like asking for confirmation, and dammit if it didn't pull Dean in.
"Cas, you... Are you a virgin?"-This was important information he had a right to know, ok?
"Yes."
"Oh."-Dean's lips stretched in a lecherous smirk as he placed both hands on the angel's cheeks.
"Oh, Cas, we're gonna have so much fun, you and I."- That nervous look that promised so much, was answer enough as Dean dived back to kiss the life out of the angel.
Correction, his angel.