The Pauper Princess and the Way of the Trilobite - Part 8
Part seven is here.
What: a fanfiction for Girl Genius, featuring my literary stand-in and stunt double Mara
Time: will it ever move beyond "four months after" the stuff and the things?? Maybe.
The story so far!
--Another exciting episode of Guildern General Hospital!
Legal disclaimer stuff:
"This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."
The Pauper Princess Fanfiction Theatre Presents:
The Pauper Princess and the Way of the Trilobite - Part 8!
Mara was discharged from the hospital at eight a.m. and made immediate plans to return as soon as she had settled her affairs of the day. Meetings had already been rescheduled, delegated or canceled. Theo and Sleipnir were left in charge of the minutiae until further notice, with time allotted to visit Agatha and Violetta as they desired. Mara offered a haggard and bleary-eyed Heather her gratitude and sincere apology for ignoring her pleas and endangering herself. She gave her beleaguered assistant a long hug, a kiss on the forehead, and a day off with pay. With some reluctance, Heather complied with the last item. Since leaving the hospital, Mara was the bustle of activity that both the Royal Physician and her husband warned her not to be, but there was just no reasoning with this scientist.
Isabel, having learned about Agatha, begged her parents to let her visit. After some debate they agreed to it, and brought Daphne the nanny along so she could be brought home quickly. Isabel gathered up the crayon drawings she'd been making as gifts and followed her nanny into the carriage. During the ride Mara was perplexed to find an especially large cloud bank looming nearby, when the resident meteorologist had forecast clear skies for now and through the whole week. Normally she didn't think much of when the weather prognosticators were wrong, but today she sensed something in or around those clouds, and debated internally whether to mention it to Kelvin. Just an inaccurate hunch... or more pirates?
Upon arrival at the hospital, the Mousehearts were a bit alarmed to find so many people... alarmed. The presence of The Heterodyne, Her Ladyship Most High, was not common knowledge - or wasn't supposed to be - so there was some worry that the news had gotten out. But passersby were stopping and staring and pointing at the roof, then murmuring nervously to each other. The Mousehearts looked up just in time to see an enormous green tail swiping across the roof, followed by something stomping about on top. Kelvin pulled Isabel close to him and pushed his family back. It did not help that Isabel became excited at the sight and wanted to get closer. From the corner of his eye Kelvin saw Seamus, the Captain of the Guard, running to the hospital, along with two dozen or more guards.
"What's happening here?" ordered Kelvin as soon as they arrived.
"We've only just arrived, sire," said Seamus, using hand gestures to direct his men to their stations. "We've gotten jumbled reports about the hospital being invaded by strange, aggressive people, 'monsters,' and - I seriously doubt this is true - a dragon."
"Are you sure it's not true?" said Kelvin, pointing to the roof. Seamus looked up and went wide-eyed at the sight of a large, manacled claw briefly hanging over the roof's edge before retreating. Kelvin pointed at Mara. "You go home," he ordered. "All three of you."
"Excuse me??"
"But Poppa-!"
Daphne had no complaints.
Kelvin stood firm. "Mara, you are not endangering yourself again. Understood?"
Mara was feeling defiant but grumbled an acknowledgement as she and Daphne began leading Isabel away.
"Hoy! Prinzess! Prinze!" a rough voice came from above. Mara turned around and looked up, her brow furrowed. The hospital's front building was six stories, but she managed to recognize the distant figure that was waving and grinning at them. It would have been difficult to avoid seeing that grin. Isabel recognized Ognian at the same time and squealed in delight and began running in place.
"Bombs avay!" said Ognian, which was spoken the instant before he jumped from the roof. Several onlookers screamed in terror or looked away, unable to bear the inevitable mess to come. Mara did not scream or look away, but grabbed Isabel and jumped backwards before Kelvin or Daphne could react.
Ognian landed with a THOOM, bent at the knees a bit, then sprang right back up, no more fazed than if he'd just made a little hop. Isabel squealed again, ran to her favorite Jäger, and wrapped her arms around his legs. He grinned and ruffled her hair, then picked her up and happily received her kisses to his nose and cheek.
"Get back, monster!!" bellowed Seamus, his weapon brought to bear. "Release the child! Now!"
Ognian pointed a thumb at the Captain and chuckled. "Who dis guy? Von uf hyus, or ken hy keel heem?"
"No-No! No! No!" yelled the Mousehearts over each other, to Seamus' confusion (and relief).
"Nooo, Mister Oggie!" said Isabel at the same time. "Don't hurt anyone!"
Kelvin pushed away Seamus' weapon. "Seamus, stand down! All of you, stand down! Now!" Any guards still brandishing weapons lowered them, regardless of how puzzled they were. Ognian set down Isabel, but pushed her behind himself as though protecting her. She giggled at this and peeked out from behind him from time to time.
Kelvin pointed at Ognian and addressed Seamus and the guards. "This man is an excellent friend of our family, and shall be treated as such! Understood?" The men grunted their acknowledgements. Seamus added an apology.
"Yas!" yelled Ognian. He suddenly wrapped an arm around Kelvin and nearly popped the arms from their sockets from his friendly squeeze. "Me und de Prinze iz goot buddies!" Kelvin groaned and wriggled out of the death hug, rubbing his shoulders.
"Mister Oggie!" said Isabel, waving one of her drawings. "I want you to have this! I made it for you!"
Curious, Ognian took the paper and stared at it a bit before finally chuckling and ruffling her hair again. Isabel's drawing was of herself and the Jäger, holding hands and smiling. That is, she was smiling normally; he wore The Grin. She was a Spark, but not so much that her artistic skill was better than any other four or five-year-old, so it had been a challenge for him to work out what, exactly, the picture was supposed to be.
"I was gonna give it to Lady Agatha to give to you, but you're here, so I gave it to you!"
His tone was surprisingly gentle. "Tenk hyu verra much for dis, leedle Prinzess. Hy vill treasure dis alvays."
"Honey, that's very sweet of you," said Mara. "But we need to talk to 'Mister Oggie' right now. All right?"
"Uh-huh!" said Isabel. She went to her nanny without more fuss, but never stopped smiling.
"Thank you so much for coming," said Mara, giving him a warm hug and kiss on the cheek. "I'm sure Agatha appreciates your being here, as well."
Ognian just stared a moment, then broke down into a gawky grin and chuckle.
"Vat iz hyu doink??" Dimo called from the roof. "Get beck op here, hyu eediot!"
"Hokeh, Dimo! Sorry!" Ognian shrugged and grinned as innocently as a Jäger could. "Gots to go! Ve iz vatching over de Mistress!"
Mara and Kelvin traded looks. He spoke for them. "But why? She's safe here; she's been resting comfortably."
Ognian waved it off. "De Mistress iz neffer safe; hyu know dot."
Mara nodded. "Hm, yes, 'near-death experience' does seem to be her middle name."
THOOM! More onlookers screamed in terror. Dimo looked around at them and rolled his eyes, then gave Ognian a mild shove.
"Stop hangink around down here - Hallo, Prinzess - und get beck op und keep vatch!"
"Gentlemen!" said Kelvin, holding up his hands. "We... do appreciate your efforts here, but... I struggle to put this delicately... The people here of Guildern... they're not used to the sight of... You see-"
Dimo waved it off. "Ve know dey's scared uf os," he growled. He smacked the back of Ognian's head, who was surprised by the move but did not reply in kind. "No vun vould know ve vas here if dis eediot remembered ve vas beink sneaky!"
"But iz de Prinzess-!"
"Gentlemen, again, please!" said Kelvin. "If you insist on keeping watch up there, we won't stop you, but... If I may, besides you, what's going on up there? People are talking about a dragon, and honestly, I'm not sure what I saw. What's really on our roof?"
Ognian shrugged. "A dragon."
"Oooo!" Isabel cried. "Poppa, Momma, may I see it??" She jumped up and down in excitement. "Did you come on the dragon? Was it fun? Did-?" Daphne shushed her and pulled her away from the others.
Mara smiled demurely and resurrected one of her cheerful, 'Pauper Princess' tones. "Gentlemen: why is there a dragon on our roof?"
"Iz hokeh," said Dimo. "Iz just Franz. Hyu know, de Heterodyne'z construct?" He looked about, then leaned in conspiratorially. "De family dragon?"
Mara nodded to him as if understanding him, then glanced away and muttered to herself. "Wonderful. Fantastic."
Kelvin held up his hands again and made as if to speak, then froze as he struggled to wrap his mind around it all. It took him a few seconds to pull together. "All right, gentlemen," he said, "Here it is: you're responsible for-- Franz, and you must see to it that it-- he?-- does not injure anyone, nor causes any damage to the hospital! He needs to stay out of sight! Do you understand? We cannot have... chaos at our hospital."
The two Jäger stared at him, then looked as one to Mara.
"Gentlemen?" said Kelvin.
"Prinzess?" said Dimo.
"What? Yes!" said Mara, slightly irritated. "Everything that he said! Uh, uh, obey him as you would me and all that."
"Hokeh!"
Mara calmed down quickly, sighed, then offered the two a warm smile. "'Chaos' or not, it is good to see you again." She stepped forward and kissed Dimo's cheek. He fidgeted in embarrassment, then was irritated by Ognian's chuckle and nudge.
Mara pointed inside. "Her Ladyship; she is still inside, yes?"
"Oh, yas," said Ognian. "Und sum odder-"
THOOM! Now Maxim was there. He grinned at Mara and waggled his eyebrows. "Hallo, sveethot! Hy see hyu iz givink de smoochies today?"
Vot de-??" Poor, frustrated Dimo. "Beck op dere, efferyvun! Hy iz surrounded by EEDIOTS!!"
Mara smiled. "It's all right," she said. "I should be equitable about this." She obliged Maxim with a peck on the cheek, adding a little pat on his shoulder when she finished. He stepped back, removed his hat with an elegant flourish and bowed deeply. Dimo barked orders at both of them to follow him back to the roof. And they did so by climbing straight up the outer wall. Kelvin was about to shout a protest to them, then simply ran his fingers through his hair, gave orders to Seamus about crowd control, then headed for the main door, motioning for his family to follow.
His daughter and nanny were with him, but not his wife. He looked back to see her watching starry-eyed as the Jäger made haste to the roof. Which of them was causing her dreamy smile, he was not interested to know, and grabbed her hand and pulled her inside a little less gently than he might have otherwise.
**************************
Kelvin made a beeline for the reception desk and inquired if anyone had arrived and been directed to the fifth floor. He said nothing about Agatha, who had been admitted as "A. Clay." The reception staff confirmed that two men had recently arrived separately, and looked up the guest book. "Wenceslaus" and "Cole."
Mara and Kelvin traded looks. "Two good kings?" she said.
"They'd better be," he said, and marched the family through the corridors.
***
Just outside of Agatha's room was a vaguely familiar man who leaned casually against the wall and smoked a pipe. He recognized the Prince and Princess roughly the same time that they did him. Kelvin was holding out his hand as he approached.
"Mister Higgs," he said. They shook hands and acknowledged each other with nods. "Now it's coming back to me. Of course; word was sent to Mechanicsburg about Her Ladyship. But why did no one inform us about your arrival?"
Higgs shrugged. "I'm not in charge here, sir," he said. "I'm just keeping watch while the others talk inside."
"When did you arrive?" asked Kelvin.
"Oh, fifteen minutes ago or thereabouts."
" 'Others?' " said Mara.
"See for yourself," said Higgs, and knocked on the door twice, using a definite rhythm each time. The Mousehearts were puzzled and concerned by the muffled noises coming from inside. They knew that the hospital rooms had excellent sound insulation, so the fact that they heard anything at all meant that-
Zeetha the Skifandrian Princess opened the door quickly, gave the Mousehearts a quick up-and-down look, then scooted into the hallway and shut the door behind herself. While it was open, the corridor was filled with angry voices having the most volatile argument the Mousehearts had heard in years. They couldn't even make out words, only the tones.
Kelvin pointed at the shut door in dismay. "What is...? Who is...?"
"Hey," said Zeetha as her way of greeting. "Prince and Princess Popper, right?"
"How many are...?" said Kelvin, then snapped to attention. "Huh? No! Come now, Zeetha. You know our names."
"It's not 'Popper?' You told me it was."
"It's not--! Never mind," said Kelvin. Then he noticed the two swords strapped to her back and pointed at them in great dismay. "Hold on, how did you-?? They let you enter the hospital with those??"
"What, these?" she said. "Nobody 'let' us in. We climbed into her room from the roof. You know, your security is really terrible."
Kelvin stiffened and clenched his fists twice. He made an effort not to grind his teeth while speaking. "Yes, it's been mentioned that we have a... dearth of proper 'security.' Now what's going on in there? Is Agatha in danger?"
"Yes, is she?" echoed Mara, nodding her head vigorously. "And what about Violetta? Have you seen her?"
"Yes," said Zeetha. "Kind of nasty, but I've seen her look worse. She'll pull through. And Agatha's in there discussing politics and other nonsense with the boys. I'm staying out of it, but you're welcome to join the fun."
" 'The boys?' " said Mara. "She's... arguing with Dimo, and Maxim, and-?"
"Ha!" said Zeetha. "Now that would be some intelligent conversation. No, unfortunately it's just our esteemed and glorious rulers of New Europa, here to regale her with their wisdom about... everything."
The Mousehearts traded alarmed looks. Mara turned to Daphne and nodded in such a way that the nanny knew it was time to take Isabel home. Isabel loudly protested this decision; in an instant Mara dropped to one knee. The daughter's power of the glare was nothing next to the mother's, and Isabel finally mumbled her acquiescence. Just as quickly Mara dropped her stern look and pulled the girl into a hug.
"I'm sorry, honey," Mara whispered, kissing the top of Isabel's head. "This just isn't a good time right now. You'll see the Lady Agatha soon and be able to give her your gifts. I promise!"
She and Kelvin watched Isabel trudge away sadly, then stepped past Zeetha as one and flung the door open. They hurried inside to lessen the hospital's noise pollution. Zeetha followed them at a casual pace and shut the door behind them.
The three-way yelling match among Agatha and what could only be her two co-rulers of New Europa had not abated. Mara knew that one of them was Emperor Tarvek Sturmvoraus and the other was Emperor Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, but did not know which was which at a glance. Kelvin always tsked her for not keeping up with the society pages, but this was the first time she had ever needed them. Well, the second time. When she'd first met, and did not recognize, Agatha would count as the first time.
Other than the three illustrious leaders of their respective empires, Theo and Sleipnir were here, looking mostly frightened out of their wits. Violetta was in the bed closest to the door. She appeared to be asleep and had been outfitted with a metal harness wrapping around her shoulders, neck, and head, not to mention a leg cast. Mara gasped quietly at the sight and wanted to rush to her side, but made herself stay with her husband as they entered the room all the way. There was also... a white cat in a fancy coat, which gave them a perfunctory glance before resuming its scowl at the arguing threesome. The Mousehearts puzzled over its presence, until remembering Isabel's play. Yes, Agatha's talking cat companion. They just didn't expect to ever encounter it in person.
Kelvin held up both hands to attempt diplomatic means for quieting down the three, but after listening for a few seconds, decided against it.
"Your Majesties..." he said in a somewhat elevated, but otherwise normal tone.
More garbled shouting. Kelvin lowered his hands and head, scuffed at the floor a bit, took a deep breath and-
"GENTLEMEN! SHUT IT!!"
Mara's eyes went saucer-shaped; she clamped both hands over her mouth and tried to will herself into shrinking away. Kelvin shook his head while at the same time admitting that he should have deferred the shouting to her in the first place.
After the windows stopped shaking, the trio, now quiet, turned as one and regarded the Mousehearts with indignation. Or the two Emperors did. Agatha just cocked an eyebrow and suppressed a smirk.
"Excuse me?" said the one nearest to them, a tall, well-built man with a large coat that had the effect of making his head look too small. "What did you just say?"
"You heard the lady," said Agatha. " 'Shut it,' gentlemen!"
Kelvin took a half-step forward and bowed. Mara followed his lead and dropped into a curtsey. "You must forgive my wife, your Majesties," he said. "Her specialty is the scientific arts, not the diplomatic ones."
He rose, not noticing Mara's severe frown. "If I may," he continued, "Our Ladyship Most High is recovering from surgery. From injuries resulting from a, a near-death experience! She needs rest and quiet, not these... quite stressful volumes. Your Majesties, we have facilities nearby for conferences, and when she's recovered-"
"Who are you people?" demanded his fellow Emperor, an equally tall man with notably red hair and round spectacles.
"Tarvek!" snapped Agatha, thumping the pillow on her lap. "They're our hosts! Show some respect."
"And who are our 'hosts?' " said the other man who, by elimination, had to be Emperor Gilgamesh.
Agatha sighed and rolled her eyes. "Prince Kelvin and Princess Mara Mouseheart of Guildern, where we are now."
"We know where we are," said Emperor Gilgamesh. "The amusements kingdom. And how did you end up here, anyway?"
Agatha scoffed. "I need a reason to visit my own lands?"
"No, I meant why here for medical treatment?" he said. "You need to be in a real hospital, not some backwater, medicine man tent." The Mousehearts gasped collectively. Agatha grit her teeth. "And poor Violetta there. Look at that traction. It's barbaric!"
"She broke her neck, Wulfenbach," said Emperor Tarvek. "That's how it's treated. And the fact that she's still alive, or wasn't paralyzed, that's-- that's a miracle in itself."
"Thanks for finally noticing me," Violetta groaned. Mara gasped and headed for her bed.
Emperor Tarvek was already beside the bed and just needed to turn around to face her. "Stop that," he said. "I've been fully aware of your presence and your condition since I arrived."
"Love you, too, cuz."
Mara reached the bedside and fought the urge to wrap her up in a big, comforting hug. She finally settled for clasping Violetta's hand gently in her own. Violetta's kept her eyes closed in spite of being conscious. Mara's eyes grew moist. "Oh, you poor dear," she whispered. "Violetta, it's Mara. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Have they managed to keep you comfortable? Are you in pain? If there's anything we can do for you-"
"Uh, Princess?" said Emperor Tarvek. "Hello?" Mara broke from her reverie and looked up. "Do you mind? My cousin needs her rest."
After a last look at her friend, Mara released Violetta's hand gently and moved away from the bed. "I'm terribly sorry, your Majesty," she whispered. "I-I just wanted to see how she's doing and-"
"It's all right, Princess," Violetta groaned after her. "I'll live. Thanks for checking on me."
"Tarvek. Gil," said Agatha, getting their attention again. Mara returned to Kelvin's side but kept glancing to Violetta's bed. "Leave Mara be; she's earned it. You've been demanding to know how I escaped from Dupree's ship. How Violetta got back in one piece." She gestured to Mara. "It's because of her."
"Oh," said Mara nervously, "Ag--? Y-your Ladyship, are you certain of this?"
"I just want them to know it was you who got me out of there," said Agatha. She tilted her head. "Nothing more."
The two men looked from Agatha, to the Mousehearts, then back again. Emperor Tarvek spoke next. "And... this was done how?"
Agatha relayed as much as she could remember through her haze of injury, occasionally deferring to a hesitant Mara to fill in gaps. The whole while the two Emperors simply stared at her with expressionless faces, which, if it was intended to unnerve her, succeeded.
After Agatha finished her exciting tales of sky pirates and hospital food, the room was silent but for the quiet beeping of the medical monitoring equipment. Emperor Tarvek stroked his chin in thought.
"So," he said. "Guildern's Princess is a Spark."
"Yes, your Majesty," said Mara, bowing her head.
"I'm confused," said Emperor Gilgemesh. "Why would a kingdom devoted to frivolous amusements have... Oh, how shall I put this? Indestructible battle armor?"
"They're construction suits!" said Agatha.
"That fly and have death rays?? Agatha, what's going on in your part of the world? Maybe it's good timing that we're here!"
"Your Majesties, I-I do not make death rays," said Mara. "Guildern is a kingdom of peace. We are devoted to safe entertainments and education. In fact-" She chuckled. "-We like to call our attractions 'edutain-' "
"Do not finish that word," said Emperor Tarvek, wincing.
"Um... Well, be that as it may," said Mara, now smiling, "The safety and care of our workers is of utmost importance to us. Hence the... er, sturdiness of our suits. You know, since using Guildern steel for them, there have been no injuries on any of our construction sites!"
She kept smiling, an expression which the two Emperors did not mimic. It became an unspoken contest of how long she could maintain her smile against their raised eyebrows. It was Emperor Tarvek who broke the silence.
"Agatha," he said, "When were you planning to share this indestructible metal with us?"
She scoffed. "I don't know. When you share your sonic amplification rail gun?"
"That is still being researched!"
"Or when Gil shares his temporal flux reintegrator?"
"That went over budget!"
As the trio continued accusing each other of hiding technology, Kelvin leaned close to Mara and whispered, "Honey? Are they just throwing random, but scientific-sounding words together, or are those real devices?"
Mara listened a bit longer, then shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine?"
"Enough!" said Emperor Tarvek. "Fine. There are... some improvements to be made about our agreement to share technology. But that... suit and that metal of hers have clearly been field-tested and passed, so you, Agatha, are in violation!"
"I beg your pardon!"
"Your Majesties," said Kelvin. "Your Ladyship. There's no need for this umbrage with one another."
"Yes," said Mara. "Please don't let us be the cause of... conflict. My only concern then was seeing Our Ladyship Most High, and our dear friend Violetta, to safety. I greatly regret the damage and... loss of life that resulted from it. But, um... the fact that I had tools available to me, that I stress are otherwise used for peaceful purposes, is a happy and most fortunate coincidence. Please believe me."
"See?" said Agatha. "They're just nice people."
"We still want the steel," said Emperor Gilgamesh.
"Princess," said Emperor Tarvek. "I can't place your accent. It's faint but familiar. Where are you from?"
"Where am I-?" said Mara, perplexed. "Er-"
"Why is that important, Tarvek?" said Agatha.
He shrugged. "I'm merely curious," he said. "Prince Kelvin, are you also a Spark?"
"I am not, your Majesty," he said. "But that disparity has never been a burden to our marriage. In fact, it's made it stronger than ever." Mara looked away to smile and blush.
"That's lovely," said Emperor Tarvek. "Princess, I'm curious which royal family you're from? Are there other Sparks in your family?"
"Uh...." said Mara, glancing to Agatha. "I'm not... I was not born into royalty. And my father was not a Spark. I don't know if my mother was. She died having me. And my father... was lost when my village was destroyed."
"Our sincerest condolences," said Emperor Gilgamesh. "Who were your parents?"
"Boys, why the interrogation?" said Agatha.
"What interrogation?" said Emperor Tarvek. "We want to know more about this woman who you insist single-handedly took out Dupree and her ship."
"Um..." said Mara, once again glancing to Agatha, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to say that I'm from Denmark?"
"You don't owe them any more," said Agatha.
"Why are you so protective of her?" asked Emperor Gilgamesh.
"Because she's my-!" said Agatha. "Good friend, and also good subject, and you're both being very prying."
The two men traded looks. "Agathaaa," said Emperor Tarvek, "All this time, and you've learned nothing from me about proper subterfuge? How can you still be such a terrible liar?"
Agatha gasped in shock. "I'm not trying to lie!" she said. "She is a good friend and a good subject! Flying to her Lady's rescue? How much better does it get? Respect! You two need to show more of it."
Mara held up her hands. "Your Majesties, I don't want to be any trouble. We don't. We Mousehearts."
"Call me Herr Wulfenbach. My father never insisted on lofty addresses, either."
The Mousehearts nodded, then looked to Emperor Tarvek. "Oh, 'your Majesty' is fine," he said. He showed his co-rulers minor eye rolls. "And accurate."
Herr Wulfenbach gave eye roll back as good as he got, then shrugged. "Agatha, we're simply curious about her background. This is the person who saved your life, yes? Does she have siblings? Cousins? Anyone we'd know?"
Mara fidgeted. "Uh..."
"The Mousehearts are my good friends," said Agatha. "We met a few years ago, Mara rekindled her Spark, and has been revitalizing Guildern ever since. And now it has lovely entertainments. And a hospital run by a Spark, so no more dismissing of it! And uhh, in Mara's spare time she tinkers with things like any good Spark does, and now we're up to speed."
"...Well, all right, then," said Herr Wulfenbach. "It's... lovely to meet you, Princess Mara. Prince Kelvin. And for saving Agatha, and her stalwart companion Violetta, you have our debt of gratitude." He made a quick bow. Mara turned red and fidgeted until Kelvin put an arm around her.
Just then, the door was flung open and the Royal Physician entered.
"All right, your Ladyship, time for- You?!?"
"You?!?" said Herr Wulfenbach. "Dr. Sun??"
"What about me?"
"You're the Spark running this hospital?" said Herr Wulfenbach. "How would a backwa-- I mean, how would a place like this have someone of your caliber working for them?"
"That's enough, Gil!" said Agatha. "He divides his time between here and Mechanicsburg. Clear enough?"
"Then why didn't you say so?"
"Never mind that!" said Dr. Sun. "What are all you people doing here? This is a hospital, not a beerhall! Everyone out! Now!"
"We're terribly sorry, Doctor," said Kelvin, starting to leave, with Mara following. "It won't happen again." She nodded and murmured agreements.
Herr Wulfenbach was less amenable. "Now just a minute, Doctor!" The doctor produced an enormous hypodermic that looked better suited for a rhinoceros than a human. Herr Wulfenbach's eyes went wide. "Where do you keep those things?"
"Don't make me use this!" said Dr. Sun, leaning closer. "And I never miss! For the last time: out! If you're not a patient or patient's family, then go! I don't care where, but you can't be in here!"
"We're family!" said Theo of himself and Sleipnir. They had come for breakfast but had stayed for the floor show. "But it's all right. We should be returning to work. Just... please don't hurt us, Doctor!"
"Violetta is, of course, my cousin," said Emperor Tarvek, smirking at Herr Wulfenbach.
"When it suits you," groaned Violetta.
"And I am Agatha's liege!" said the cat.
"That doesn't count," said Dr. Sun. He pointed at Emperor Tarvek, Theo, and Sleipnir. "You may stay if you want; the rest of you, out! Out!"
"Oh, Doctor," said Mara, pointing to herself and Kelvin. "We're family!" Her eyes went wide, and she froze as soon as she finished speaking those words. Kelvin and Agatha also froze but managed to trade looks with only their eyes. Even Theo and Sleipnir, who were on their way out, stopped and stared. Emperor Tarvek and Herr Wulfenbach made double takes.
Only Dr. Sun was nonplussed. "Fine, you stay," he muttered, and ushered everyone else out, including Herr Wulfenbach, who was exclaiming all the way.
"Hold on! What did she say? Did she say-?" Dr. Sun slammed the door shut and locked it. No one spoke as he went about his business, checking his patients' vitals, writing on their charts, checking their doses of intravenous fluids, declaring them both still alive, and then promising another visit in a few hours.
"By the way," he said to Agatha, "Get rid of that giant lizard and those monsters on my roof! They're clomping around like morons and frightening patients! And making fixtures fall from the ceiling!"
Kelvin groaned to himself. "Ahhh, I should have asked them to leave."
Agatha promised the good doctor to have the situation remedied. Dr. Sun nodded once firmly, then left the room. A few seconds later the locked doorknob was jostled, and then an urgent knocking came on the door. Emperor Tarvek held up a finger and went to the door himself.
"Who is it?" he teased in a high voice.
Muffled shouting came from the other side, but no one could make out the words. The knocking became a pounding. Emperor Tarvek grinned, then unlocked and opened the door. Herr Wulfenbach pushed past him immediately, followed by Zeetha and the cat, who were equally determined but for their own reasons. Herr Wulfenbach stopped right in front of the Mousehearts and tried to loom over them, except that they matched his height.
"Whose family?" he demanded.
"Gil!" said Agatha. "You will not bully my friends, or my... All right, my subjects like this! Now back off!"
"It was a slip of the tongue, Herr Wulfenbach," said Kelvin. "My wife just didn't want to be 'kicked out,' is all. There's nothing to it."
"Kelvin," said Mara quietly, "Don't."
"Oh," he said, leaning back, "Oh, is this going to become like that very loud 'Don't' you said earlier?"
"Kelvin."
"What is going on here?" said Herr Wulfenbach. Emperor Tarvek nodded and joined his co-ruler in staring at Agatha. "Another Mongfish? Is that it?"
Emperor Tarvek nodded again. "Yes, how many siblings did your mother have, anyway?"
"Hey!" said Agatha and Theo at once.
"Boys..." said Agatha, forcing a smile. "You are making... much ado about nothing. The Mousehearts and I are good friends. They're like family."
The "Boys" stared at Agatha a long time, even folding their arms simultaneously. It was the first time in a while that they did anything in sync. As one, they turned to look at Mara.
"Who are you?" said Emperor Tarvek.
"Your Majesty," said Mara, bowing her head, "I am Princess Mara Mouseheart."
"Daughter of... Whom?" said Herr Wulfenbach.
"Gil! Tarvek!" said Agatha. "Don't make me get off this bed!"
"Daughter of whom?" said Herr Wulfenbach.
"Now see here, your Majesties," said Kelvin, stepping in front of Mara, arms akimbo. "There's no call for this hostility. Mara is a good woman. As a Princess she's beloved by all. She is a loving wife and mother. She is a friend to all and follows the path of peace, always!"
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back. Mara smiled at him tenderly as she stepped from behind him. She stood at his side and took his hand, which he clasped with both of his. She smiled at Agatha, who was shaking her head subtly, but there was nothing else for it.
"My parents," said Mara, "Were Olaf and Cassandra Heterodyne. Olaf, son of Outragio, who banished his own son for lack of the Spark. Who then... had me, and raised me to... Well, hate all Sparks, as he himself did. And beat me when I showed my own as a child. Perhaps to... suppress it? But you can't really suppress it, can you? I tried to, but... Well, ultimately I have Agatha to thank for helping me find it again. My husband and family, for helping me accept and later, embrace it." She paused for their reaction, and after being met with silence, shrugged meekly and laughed once. "That's who I am, your Majesties."
There was another long pause, broken only by the steady, soft beeping of the monitors. Mara glanced at Agatha, who had her eyes shut and was holding the bridge of her nose. Yes, the family announcement had happened a little earlier than planned. Or prepared for.
Herr Wulfenbach addressed Agatha while pointing at Mara. "Agatha, who is this woman?"
Agatha scoffed. "You heard the lady; she's a Heterodyne."
"That's impossible!" said Herr Wulfenbach.
"Ridiculous!" said Emperor Tarvek. "Clearly she's some fanatical devotee who concocted a story just plausible enough to somehow fool even you-"
"Listen!!" said Kelvin. "We were on holiday, visiting Her Ladyship, and that castle of hers trapped her in a ghastly room made of skulls and subjected her to a barbaric test! Which she passed! So... So I don't know what else she's supposed to do to prove herself."
"What he said," said Agatha. "Also, the Jäger's noses say so. Gil, Tarvek: the Castle accepts her. The genealogy wall in the library can't be faked. We have the same blood type. Even Malicio's hat worked for her!"
"Huh?"
"Never mind," said Agatha. "The point is, we are third cousins, and..." She paused, then straightened up, in spite of the pain in her stitches. "And I'm proud to call her family. She is a Heterodyne!"
Mara covered her mouth, then wiped away the tears in her eyes.
"Well!" said Emperor Tarvek, tapping his arm. "What do we do about that, I wonder?"
Part nine is here.