OneShot - Today and Tomorrow
Title: Today and Tomorrow
Author: mar-coon-ah
Pairing: Tadaiki
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Flangst (Fluffy/Angst)
Word Count: 2519 (quite long)
Summary: Why do we have a past? And why is there a future? Because we have today. They say today is a gift, so they called it present. Is today really a present?
Notes: I've posted this before in koigaii journal. Now that i have my own journal, i decided to move it here.
My 1st ever Tadaiki fic.
Why do we have a past? And why is there a future? Because we have today. They say today is a gift, so they called it present.
You know what? I somehow believe those saying. Because today is a really good day in my life. I got a very huge present. It is…
----Finally I’ll start going out with Takaki-senpai!----
From now on, we’ll be going out! It’ll be a date! Dee…to!!! What a nice word…! I smiled to myself.
I have a crushed on him since I entered this university. It was when I was looking for the university hall. Everybody whom I asked to, said different directions. I knew that they made fun of me. I got lost. I guess I should find some security staff first. The security staff won’t give you the wrong direction, will he? But before I found one, he came. Well, I bumped into him. He asked me whether I was lost. I bet I looked like lost penguin puppy that time. I was just amazed by his look. Somehow I trust him. Trust him to show me where the hall was. Since then, I admired him so much. He’s my hero!! I tried to search and found out everything about him. Well, my fan-boying started.
And I found myself as a lucky boy ever. HAHAHA…!!! -bigheaded? Who? Me?!-
Takaki Yuya. He’s my senpai from the same department! We even had three same classes! From then on we became close each other. I was too shy to confess to him. I was too scared to be rejected by him. I was scared our relationship will be worse after I confessed. But it was just what I imagined.
And today, it’s spring in my heart. The sakura falls beautifully. The birds are chirping. The water in the river flows gently.
“Daiki, daijobu?” he questioned.
“Ah?! Daijobu desu! What’s wrong?” I ended up questioning the same thing.
“You’re spacing out, aren’t you?”
Yeah…. Spacing out and thinking about you….
“How come you are the first one who confessed to me…?” I asked him. Wait! What??? Did I say it loud? I never meant to say that out loud. I even looked through his eyes when I said that stupid question! Oh my God…! I bet my face was total red now.
Takaki answered me, “Because I thought you love me.” Oh how I wanted to shout ‘I DO’.
What?! Did he know? Since when?
“Ahahah…!” he laughed. “What a funny boy you are! Do you ever make this face?” What? What kind of face? Oh God, what’s with me???
I touched my face whether there’s something wrong with it.
“They’re swollen. Your cheeks.” I hurriedly clapped my cheeks with my hands together.
“Ittai!” I clapped them too hard that it ached. But then he caressed my cheeks. He smiled. The pain has gone in instant.
“How…, how did you know I love…,” it stopped. The words didn’t come out again. It was because he put his finger upon my lips to put me in silence.
Doki doki. Oh my…, did he hear it? My heartbeat?
“How can I confess first, and how did I know you love me, is not important.”
I took a deep breath to control my heartbeats. His finger is still on my lips!!!
“The most important thing for now is…, I love you.”
Takaki’s was soft. It was a bit hot too. I thought our noses will block the way. But he did it perfectly. And when I realized that my eyes were wide opened because of shock, I closed it slowly. Tried to feel the moment. They said it’ll be more fantastic if you close your eyes in a time like this.
----HE KISSED ME!!! NO! HE’S STILL KISSING ME…!!!----
We went home together. This will be our first date. Takaki and Daiki. Tadaiki. Whoa…!!! What a cute acronym!!!
“Let’s make a history,” we were in an amusement park.
“History?” What? Japan’s history? Why does he have to bring out this topic? I am totally bad in history….
“I mean, let’s make a beautiful memories. Because today will be a past for tomorrow.” I like the sentences. But it seemed a bit pessimist.
“No.” He was slightly taken aback by my answer.
“I want us to enjoy this day, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after..., everyday! Even though it has same meaning with what you’ve just said, I feel better to said it this way.” Do you get what I mean? It sounded more optimist, right?
That day, our first date, will be a memory for the second date, the third date, the fourth date, and the x-th date. We’ll have so many uncountable dates from now on. That was what I thought. But, what you thought, won’t definitely come true as you wished.
“Dai-chan!” it’s him. He started call me like that in our second date. I was so happy…!
“Where are we going to go today?” I walked closer to him.
“Gomen ne Dai-chan. I can’t go today.”
“Eh?” that day should be our 5th date.
“My friend got an accident. He’s hospitalized now….” He looked so worry.
“I’m sorry to hear that.... Well, you have to hurry then.”
“Un!”
“Hope that your friend will be ok…,” and we’ll have another date next time to replace today’s date.
“Sankyu!” after kissing my forehead, he went to his friend.
I felt a bit jealous. Even though I know that his friend got an accident. But…, now that I’m thinking about it, who is this friend?
---
After the day when his friend got an accident, we never had a date. Sometimes he went home first. And the other time, he rejected my offer directly.
“Can I go with you?”
He was startled by my question. I guess he didn’t expect me to ask this.
“I also want to see him. Your friend, Hikaru-kun, right?”
“Ah… Ok!” Are you sure it’s an ‘OK’?
I ended up going to the hospital. I’m sorry Takaki…. I just don’t want to lose you. I’m jealous. Because we couldn’t see each other since that day. We didn’t even have any date ever since. I want to be by your side. Forever….
“Yuuyan” What? Is that Takaki’s nickname? I’ve never know that.
“Hikaru.”
“Hm? Who is with you?” The sick asked from his bed.
“He is my…,” hey! What took you so long? It that difficult? Do you plan not to introduce me as your lover?
“He was my kouhai. And now is my lover.” What a relief. Takaki…!!! I love you even more! Can you feel that?
“Daiki desu!”
“Ah…, what a cute boyfriend you have. You have grown up Yuuyan!”
He looked like a good person.
“Ah! Yuuyan…, can you go to the nurse’s room? I haven’t got my medicine for this afternoon. The bell seems to be broken.”
“Ah, ok!” Takaki left us behind. I felt a bit weird. Being together with a person that I’ve just known less than an hour, made me a bit confused. What to do or what to talk.
“Ah…, I bought you some fruits. Do you want to eat it? I’ll peel one for you.”
“Bring it away.”
What? I just didn’t believe what I’ve heard before.
“Are you a deaf? I said bring it away. And in case you don’t understand human language, that also means you-get-out-of-here!”
He was so not nice! I take my words before, about he was a good person.
“A lover, huh? Do you think you’ll get him just by loving him? Who do you think you are?”
I couldn’t utter any word. I want to punch him right in the face. But it seemed that my legs had grown some strong roots there.
“Do you know who I am?” He asked me in his casual but evil eerie tone. I shook my head. “I… Yaotome Hikaru” he gave a pause in between his words trying to emphasize his name so that that name stayed in my brain, my heart, my life.
“… is” he continued. “Takaki Yuya’s first love. The one he loves is ME. We love each other even before he met you,” he uttered it with plain expression. His eyes pierced straight to mine.
“But…. For now, does he still love you?” Finally I asked it. I couldn’t believe that I have that courage to ask him. The important thing is that now he loves me, right? Right?
“Do you think the important thing is that now you are his lover?” he read my mind! He’s creepy!
“What a fool…. I let him date anyone he wants, but when I need him, I’ll make him mine again,” he grinned showing his horrible set of teeth.
“Wha…? So do you mean that this accident is a way to make him yours? You hurt yourself intentionally like this, just to steal Takaki away from me?” I came to conclusion myself. That’s the only reason crossed my mind.
“What? Steal?!” He let out a chuckle. He sure was scary. “Who is the one here who steal and was stolen from?” he said it with a flat tone.
“You know what? You’ll just be a coma in his life…, for… ever.”
I couldn’t reply his words. He surely has a sharp tongue. Coma? Did he mean that coma which signed that one sentence is not finished yet. The coma where you take a short stop when you read a sentence. And I was that short stop for Takaki?
“Beeep….” He pressed the button.
“Excuse me! I need a security now! There’s someone bothered me!” WHAT?! Didn’t he say before that the bell was broken and now he…, backstabbed me?
“Brak!” someone opened and shuted the door behind. Takaki!
“Yuuyan…,” Hikaru cried. He cried? Wait! Oi! The one who should be crying is me!
Takaki walked approaching Hikaru. Hikaru then hugged him tight while still crying.
“He…, he said mean things to me…. He said that I’m just a bother to you. Hiks. He said that because of me…, you two couldn’t have a date…. I’m sorry if I’m just a bother for you two, but….” What?! He told a big lie and even sobbed?!
Takaki turned his gaze to me. His eyes seemed questioning me something.
I felt sick of it. That Hikaru is surely a devil! I went out from the room, and heard that someone followed me behind.
“Gomen ne, Dai-chan. He’s like that because he’s broken-home child. He always wants to get attention from everyone. Wants to have everything what others have…,” Takaki explained.
“I know that it wasn’t because of you. He must tell a lie, because he wants me to always be by his side. Demo…, you have to trust me Dai-chan! I love you! I know that someday he’ll understand how do I feel towards you, and he’ll find other person who’ll love him.”
“Un. Wakatta!” I was sure hurt by what Hikaru said earlier. But somehow, the way Takaki explained the whole thing to me cooled my heart a little. Takaki believed me and I believe him. After he said it, he took me a walk. We had a tea time in a café near the hospital. Is it a date? Yeah…, whatever it is, I was happy to have time together with Takaki again!!! I believe him. I believe that our love will happy end.
---
It has been a month since I came to the hospital and we had a tea time. I’ve never seen him in class or in campus. I mailed him. But there was no reply. I called him, but I always rejected.
If it like this…, how can I trust you? I doubt myself, whether I can trust you more than this Takaki….
“How can I not love you…,” my phone rang.
“Moshi, moshi!” it’s Takaki! He called me!
We didn’t talk much. But he said that he want to meet me. What a great news! I missed him so much and now I’ll go meet him! Yeay…!!!
“Yo! Sashiburi!” I sat next to him.
“I missed you so much…,” I cling onto him and kiss his fine cheek.
But he didn’t say a thing.
“How long will you stay silent like that? Ano nee, Takaki…, don’t you missed me?”
“….”
“What now…?” I smelled a bad news.
“I want us not to meet each other from now on.”
What?!
I loosed my hand from his neck. Looked at him perplexed. Trying to understand what he just said.
“I mean…, I want you to wait for me! I think we need more time to make Hikaru understand about our relationship. So until then…, I want you to wait for me….”
Then it’s my turn kept silent.
His phone rang. He answered it. From the way he spoke, I knew that it was Hikaru.
“I have to go somewhere.”
“Where is the somewhere? I don’t know that there’s a place named somewhere,” I said that rather sarcastically. I was annoyed. I was disappointed. I was hurt.
“Dai-chan…, please…! I have to go now, or else….”
“Or else what? What will happen if you don’t go? If it was me who got an accident, if it was me who is a broken home child, will you come to me? Will you do the same thing to me? What about me then? Why do I have to be the one who have to wait?”
“Dai-chan…,” Takaki hugged me, gave a gentle but tight squeeze. This hug, this so tight squeeze that knocked the air out of my body… I’ve missing this for so long, Takaki…. Did you know that?
After a while, he loosened his hug. And he placed his hands over my shoulders, holding them tightly.
“I really have to go now….”
“Don’t go!” I grabbed his hand.
“Dai-chan! Why are you so thickheaded like this?” he even exclaimed. He surely wants to go to Hikaru’s side.
“If you go to him, we’ll break up.” I threatened him. This is the last way I can imagine to stop him.
But he turned away at the sight and walked away. As if he didn’t hear what I just said. The view of his back was getting farther.
So, this is what you want, huh? What makes you think I can wait for you? I can’t wait if you’re like that, you know? I don’t want to suffer waiting for you. It pained me so much. Why didn’t you understand it?
“Ano Bakaki!” I ended up watering my nose. Sniffled for so long.
This day, this relationship and this Takaki, they will be a past for tomorrow. I can’t wait any longer to have tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the days after….
The past, can you go and disappear from my memories? The future, can you come faster? I just want to erase all this pain….
Why do we have a past? And why is there a future? Because we have a time to love and to be loved, to care and to be cared, to reject and to be rejected, to hurt and to be hurt….
Author: mar-coon-ah
Pairing: Tadaiki
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Flangst (Fluffy/Angst)
Word Count: 2519 (quite long)
Summary: Why do we have a past? And why is there a future? Because we have today. They say today is a gift, so they called it present. Is today really a present?
Notes: I've posted this before in koigaii journal. Now that i have my own journal, i decided to move it here.
My 1st ever Tadaiki fic.
Why do we have a past? And why is there a future? Because we have today. They say today is a gift, so they called it present.
You know what? I somehow believe those saying. Because today is a really good day in my life. I got a very huge present. It is…
----Finally I’ll start going out with Takaki-senpai!----
From now on, we’ll be going out! It’ll be a date! Dee…to!!! What a nice word…! I smiled to myself.
I have a crushed on him since I entered this university. It was when I was looking for the university hall. Everybody whom I asked to, said different directions. I knew that they made fun of me. I got lost. I guess I should find some security staff first. The security staff won’t give you the wrong direction, will he? But before I found one, he came. Well, I bumped into him. He asked me whether I was lost. I bet I looked like lost penguin puppy that time. I was just amazed by his look. Somehow I trust him. Trust him to show me where the hall was. Since then, I admired him so much. He’s my hero!! I tried to search and found out everything about him. Well, my fan-boying started.
And I found myself as a lucky boy ever. HAHAHA…!!! -bigheaded? Who? Me?!-
Takaki Yuya. He’s my senpai from the same department! We even had three same classes! From then on we became close each other. I was too shy to confess to him. I was too scared to be rejected by him. I was scared our relationship will be worse after I confessed. But it was just what I imagined.
And today, it’s spring in my heart. The sakura falls beautifully. The birds are chirping. The water in the river flows gently.
“Daiki, daijobu?” he questioned.
“Ah?! Daijobu desu! What’s wrong?” I ended up questioning the same thing.
“You’re spacing out, aren’t you?”
Yeah…. Spacing out and thinking about you….
“How come you are the first one who confessed to me…?” I asked him. Wait! What??? Did I say it loud? I never meant to say that out loud. I even looked through his eyes when I said that stupid question! Oh my God…! I bet my face was total red now.
Takaki answered me, “Because I thought you love me.” Oh how I wanted to shout ‘I DO’.
What?! Did he know? Since when?
“Ahahah…!” he laughed. “What a funny boy you are! Do you ever make this face?” What? What kind of face? Oh God, what’s with me???
I touched my face whether there’s something wrong with it.
“They’re swollen. Your cheeks.” I hurriedly clapped my cheeks with my hands together.
“Ittai!” I clapped them too hard that it ached. But then he caressed my cheeks. He smiled. The pain has gone in instant.
“How…, how did you know I love…,” it stopped. The words didn’t come out again. It was because he put his finger upon my lips to put me in silence.
Doki doki. Oh my…, did he hear it? My heartbeat?
“How can I confess first, and how did I know you love me, is not important.”
I took a deep breath to control my heartbeats. His finger is still on my lips!!!
“The most important thing for now is…, I love you.”
Takaki’s was soft. It was a bit hot too. I thought our noses will block the way. But he did it perfectly. And when I realized that my eyes were wide opened because of shock, I closed it slowly. Tried to feel the moment. They said it’ll be more fantastic if you close your eyes in a time like this.
----HE KISSED ME!!! NO! HE’S STILL KISSING ME…!!!----
We went home together. This will be our first date. Takaki and Daiki. Tadaiki. Whoa…!!! What a cute acronym!!!
“Let’s make a history,” we were in an amusement park.
“History?” What? Japan’s history? Why does he have to bring out this topic? I am totally bad in history….
“I mean, let’s make a beautiful memories. Because today will be a past for tomorrow.” I like the sentences. But it seemed a bit pessimist.
“No.” He was slightly taken aback by my answer.
“I want us to enjoy this day, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after..., everyday! Even though it has same meaning with what you’ve just said, I feel better to said it this way.” Do you get what I mean? It sounded more optimist, right?
That day, our first date, will be a memory for the second date, the third date, the fourth date, and the x-th date. We’ll have so many uncountable dates from now on. That was what I thought. But, what you thought, won’t definitely come true as you wished.
“Dai-chan!” it’s him. He started call me like that in our second date. I was so happy…!
“Where are we going to go today?” I walked closer to him.
“Gomen ne Dai-chan. I can’t go today.”
“Eh?” that day should be our 5th date.
“My friend got an accident. He’s hospitalized now….” He looked so worry.
“I’m sorry to hear that.... Well, you have to hurry then.”
“Un!”
“Hope that your friend will be ok…,” and we’ll have another date next time to replace today’s date.
“Sankyu!” after kissing my forehead, he went to his friend.
I felt a bit jealous. Even though I know that his friend got an accident. But…, now that I’m thinking about it, who is this friend?
---
After the day when his friend got an accident, we never had a date. Sometimes he went home first. And the other time, he rejected my offer directly.
“Can I go with you?”
He was startled by my question. I guess he didn’t expect me to ask this.
“I also want to see him. Your friend, Hikaru-kun, right?”
“Ah… Ok!” Are you sure it’s an ‘OK’?
I ended up going to the hospital. I’m sorry Takaki…. I just don’t want to lose you. I’m jealous. Because we couldn’t see each other since that day. We didn’t even have any date ever since. I want to be by your side. Forever….
“Yuuyan” What? Is that Takaki’s nickname? I’ve never know that.
“Hikaru.”
“Hm? Who is with you?” The sick asked from his bed.
“He is my…,” hey! What took you so long? It that difficult? Do you plan not to introduce me as your lover?
“He was my kouhai. And now is my lover.” What a relief. Takaki…!!! I love you even more! Can you feel that?
“Daiki desu!”
“Ah…, what a cute boyfriend you have. You have grown up Yuuyan!”
He looked like a good person.
“Ah! Yuuyan…, can you go to the nurse’s room? I haven’t got my medicine for this afternoon. The bell seems to be broken.”
“Ah, ok!” Takaki left us behind. I felt a bit weird. Being together with a person that I’ve just known less than an hour, made me a bit confused. What to do or what to talk.
“Ah…, I bought you some fruits. Do you want to eat it? I’ll peel one for you.”
“Bring it away.”
What? I just didn’t believe what I’ve heard before.
“Are you a deaf? I said bring it away. And in case you don’t understand human language, that also means you-get-out-of-here!”
He was so not nice! I take my words before, about he was a good person.
“A lover, huh? Do you think you’ll get him just by loving him? Who do you think you are?”
I couldn’t utter any word. I want to punch him right in the face. But it seemed that my legs had grown some strong roots there.
“Do you know who I am?” He asked me in his casual but evil eerie tone. I shook my head. “I… Yaotome Hikaru” he gave a pause in between his words trying to emphasize his name so that that name stayed in my brain, my heart, my life.
“… is” he continued. “Takaki Yuya’s first love. The one he loves is ME. We love each other even before he met you,” he uttered it with plain expression. His eyes pierced straight to mine.
“But…. For now, does he still love you?” Finally I asked it. I couldn’t believe that I have that courage to ask him. The important thing is that now he loves me, right? Right?
“Do you think the important thing is that now you are his lover?” he read my mind! He’s creepy!
“What a fool…. I let him date anyone he wants, but when I need him, I’ll make him mine again,” he grinned showing his horrible set of teeth.
“Wha…? So do you mean that this accident is a way to make him yours? You hurt yourself intentionally like this, just to steal Takaki away from me?” I came to conclusion myself. That’s the only reason crossed my mind.
“What? Steal?!” He let out a chuckle. He sure was scary. “Who is the one here who steal and was stolen from?” he said it with a flat tone.
“You know what? You’ll just be a coma in his life…, for… ever.”
I couldn’t reply his words. He surely has a sharp tongue. Coma? Did he mean that coma which signed that one sentence is not finished yet. The coma where you take a short stop when you read a sentence. And I was that short stop for Takaki?
“Beeep….” He pressed the button.
“Excuse me! I need a security now! There’s someone bothered me!” WHAT?! Didn’t he say before that the bell was broken and now he…, backstabbed me?
“Brak!” someone opened and shuted the door behind. Takaki!
“Yuuyan…,” Hikaru cried. He cried? Wait! Oi! The one who should be crying is me!
Takaki walked approaching Hikaru. Hikaru then hugged him tight while still crying.
“He…, he said mean things to me…. He said that I’m just a bother to you. Hiks. He said that because of me…, you two couldn’t have a date…. I’m sorry if I’m just a bother for you two, but….” What?! He told a big lie and even sobbed?!
Takaki turned his gaze to me. His eyes seemed questioning me something.
I felt sick of it. That Hikaru is surely a devil! I went out from the room, and heard that someone followed me behind.
“Gomen ne, Dai-chan. He’s like that because he’s broken-home child. He always wants to get attention from everyone. Wants to have everything what others have…,” Takaki explained.
“I know that it wasn’t because of you. He must tell a lie, because he wants me to always be by his side. Demo…, you have to trust me Dai-chan! I love you! I know that someday he’ll understand how do I feel towards you, and he’ll find other person who’ll love him.”
“Un. Wakatta!” I was sure hurt by what Hikaru said earlier. But somehow, the way Takaki explained the whole thing to me cooled my heart a little. Takaki believed me and I believe him. After he said it, he took me a walk. We had a tea time in a café near the hospital. Is it a date? Yeah…, whatever it is, I was happy to have time together with Takaki again!!! I believe him. I believe that our love will happy end.
---
It has been a month since I came to the hospital and we had a tea time. I’ve never seen him in class or in campus. I mailed him. But there was no reply. I called him, but I always rejected.
If it like this…, how can I trust you? I doubt myself, whether I can trust you more than this Takaki….
“How can I not love you…,” my phone rang.
“Moshi, moshi!” it’s Takaki! He called me!
We didn’t talk much. But he said that he want to meet me. What a great news! I missed him so much and now I’ll go meet him! Yeay…!!!
“Yo! Sashiburi!” I sat next to him.
“I missed you so much…,” I cling onto him and kiss his fine cheek.
But he didn’t say a thing.
“How long will you stay silent like that? Ano nee, Takaki…, don’t you missed me?”
“….”
“What now…?” I smelled a bad news.
“I want us not to meet each other from now on.”
What?!
I loosed my hand from his neck. Looked at him perplexed. Trying to understand what he just said.
“I mean…, I want you to wait for me! I think we need more time to make Hikaru understand about our relationship. So until then…, I want you to wait for me….”
Then it’s my turn kept silent.
His phone rang. He answered it. From the way he spoke, I knew that it was Hikaru.
“I have to go somewhere.”
“Where is the somewhere? I don’t know that there’s a place named somewhere,” I said that rather sarcastically. I was annoyed. I was disappointed. I was hurt.
“Dai-chan…, please…! I have to go now, or else….”
“Or else what? What will happen if you don’t go? If it was me who got an accident, if it was me who is a broken home child, will you come to me? Will you do the same thing to me? What about me then? Why do I have to be the one who have to wait?”
“Dai-chan…,” Takaki hugged me, gave a gentle but tight squeeze. This hug, this so tight squeeze that knocked the air out of my body… I’ve missing this for so long, Takaki…. Did you know that?
After a while, he loosened his hug. And he placed his hands over my shoulders, holding them tightly.
“I really have to go now….”
“Don’t go!” I grabbed his hand.
“Dai-chan! Why are you so thickheaded like this?” he even exclaimed. He surely wants to go to Hikaru’s side.
“If you go to him, we’ll break up.” I threatened him. This is the last way I can imagine to stop him.
But he turned away at the sight and walked away. As if he didn’t hear what I just said. The view of his back was getting farther.
So, this is what you want, huh? What makes you think I can wait for you? I can’t wait if you’re like that, you know? I don’t want to suffer waiting for you. It pained me so much. Why didn’t you understand it?
“Ano Bakaki!” I ended up watering my nose. Sniffled for so long.
This day, this relationship and this Takaki, they will be a past for tomorrow. I can’t wait any longer to have tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the days after….
The past, can you go and disappear from my memories? The future, can you come faster? I just want to erase all this pain….
Why do we have a past? And why is there a future? Because we have a time to love and to be loved, to care and to be cared, to reject and to be rejected, to hurt and to be hurt….