Boner Pills: Hormonal Equality?

May 24, 2011 07:49

See also: cialis |

Boner Pills: Hormonal Equality?

I've been huffing about birth control for the last month. Boring my friends with long-winded, booze breath rampages about how it's just "so unfair" that the medical world has yet to find a way to make we-don't-want-no-baby-sex an equal responsibility. And I get that, as adults, we should take account for ourselves, but it would be refreshing to know that if you forgot, they didn't, and Plan B wouldn't even cross your mind. Then today, it hit me. I have been so busy victimizing my own position that I never stopped to think about the complexities of the dude drug. Enter: The Boner Pill.

Boner Poppin' has become a joke amongst the men in my life. I've had my experience with dudes who experiment with cheap viagra (did you know that Bruce Springsteen is the spokesman for this little wonder doll?) and Levitra; [insert sexy Spanish comment here.] But today, I started to question the long-term turmoil of these pills. Could this be a case of hormonal equality? Now, granted any young spry who willingly chooses to take a boner pill has to consider the risks involved (twenty-somethings are not the ideal dick pill candidate), but what exactly are they?

Cialis works like pop rocks; it releases when you produce some juice. So, unless you're all "up to fuck", nothing is going to happen. My image of boner pills was that they had an unexpected mind of their own, like a guy could get an uncontrollable erection the next day at work. Not true. Apparently, Cialis activates in as quickly as 30 minutes, can last up to 46 hours, but leaves you in control. Levitra has a similar effect, but will only last 5 hours or so. Side affects of both pills are similar to birth control: nausea, muscle aches, upset stomach, dizziness, the list goes on. Oh, then just replace 'spotting' with 'Rhinitis' (the medical term for 'coke drip').

Now, the question is: why do men take boner pills?

Old men take dick pills (except Larry David) because they can't fuck anymore and that sucks, for both them and their sexual partners. They feel all emasculated and I imagine that the whole process works like menopause; at first you freak out, then you realize, it's just the way it is and get on with your gardening or whatever. But how safe is it inject our bodies with hormones like estrogen or testosterone when we don't always know how much we already have within us? A girl in my class talked about how her T.A used to inject the testosterone shots she was giving to her lab rats into her own face cream. It worked for her; testosterone made her feel 'sexy'. Hormone pills are dished out in diametric oppositions. Women are still supposed to be women, and men to be men. E for girls and T for boys... shouldn't we be more open about mixing this shit up?

Okay, so why do young men without erectile dysfunction take them? Is it the same reason why they stick their dicks in pudding or masturbate into a book shelf? Recreation? Curiosity? Experimentation? Or does the boner pill send a deeper message?

Dr. Marta Meana stated that, "the female body looks the same whether aroused or not. The male, without an erection, is announcing a lack of arousal." Potentially, a female is in a constant state of 'the promise' or 'suggestion' of sex, her body does not require an active signal to showcase her gendered sexuality. So, if men require a visible boner to showcase their readiness then the dick pill makes an obvious best friend, especially for those nights when illegal drugs have stunted the action. Is the boner pill really for the dude's pleasure or is it for his maleness, his social value? Hey wait, are straight men giving back with dick drugs?

We live a quick-fix society (heart you). Too drunk to fuck equals just fucked enough to take that pill. Question is, who's really amped to get all straight edge when it comes to sex?

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