Random things are random.
- The other day I learned that Elizabeth Montgomery, of Bewitched fame, recorded audio book versions of the second and third of Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty books. I find that quite heartily disturbing. It's weird to think of Samantha Stevens reading to me about BDSM and fisting and whatnot. Too bad these versions are only on cassette, it would make for an unusual listen.
- SNUGGIE FLEECES CUSTOMERS (sorry, I couldn't resisit)! I was looking at the Snuggie website because I watched the Snuggie Cult video on YouTube. They want you to pay 19.95 for two Snuggies with two free book lights - the catch is that you pay $7.95 postage and handling for each set. What kind of idiot pays $16 postage and handling for a product that only costs $20? Must be the type who would join a cult if given the opportunity. Oh, and for the discerning cult neophyte, don't forget the Slanket - same idea, even more expensive. Look, people, just buy a freaking $10 robe, put it on backwards and save yourself $30! And then you'll have that nifty sash to keep your robe closed (and your ass covered) when you're the kitchen pouring yourself a CUP OF CULT COFFEE.
- I had to leave work early today because I couldn't stop sneezing. I deep cleaned my aparment yesterday and apparently inhaled too much dust, because I've been in eye-watering, multiple-sneeze hell for the last couple of hours. Please note that I took a generic Claritin pill and am not actually allergic to dust. But the dust doesn't care, oh no, it's getting revenge for being routed from the innermost recesses of my abode.
- Monday was a good day for telling off asshats:
- 1. Leashless dog guy: Walking to work, I was accosted by some guy's dog because he didn't have it on a leash and hadn't trained it to heel. He kept yelling at the dog to stop, but did that do any good? No. I put my leg out towards the dog so it couldn't jump on me, since I didn't want big slobbering dog saliva on my work clothes. When the guy came over to retrieve his dog, I said, "That's why there are leash laws, y'know. Your dog might be nice, but other people's dogs might not." Do these people ever stop to think that their dog might pick that day to go haywire and bite someone? Do they think about the fact that the person their dogs runs up to might be allergic to dogs? That they might be afraid of dogs? That I might be carrying my bunny home from the vet and I don't want your huge fucking saint bernard scaring him to death? Nooooo, never.
I don't hate the dogs, but I do despise their jackass owners. The people who think, "My dog is special, it doesn't need a leash." Well, tell that to my indoor cat (since deceased), who used to like to go the park for supervised outdoor time and had to stop going because assholes like this guy would never keep their dogs leashed. Your dog might be friendly to people and not attack me, but my cat (who was always leashed, by the way)? Is fair game to your dog. Fuck you, irresponsible dog owners, your dogs deserve better than the likes of you.
- 2. Smoking on the no-smoking train platform guy: Cue the pitiful face and slumped posture. Ask, "Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?" in wheedling voice. Listen to me telling you, "No I don't, and there's no smoking on the platform anyway," in a super-bitchy voice.
- a. Do you see me smoking? No. Why, then, do you think I have a cigarette to give you?
- b. I've seen you at least a dozen times on this platform. Have you ever once seen me smoking during these enounters? No. Why, then, do you think I have any cigarettes at all?
I hate this douchebag because he always smokes under the shelter, so the smoke lingers forever under the sloped roof and it makes it impossible to stand out of the rain if you don't want to breathe in smoke for 10 solid minutes. When he's not engaging in that form of asshattery, he somehow manages to always smoke upwind so that no matter where you stand, you can't get away from his stream of smoke. I understand addiction, it's not like I'm immune to addiction. But you don't see my second-hand sandwich making you fat, now do you? And you can manage to entirely avoid getting any of my second-hand sandwich inside your belly. My lungs, however, aren't so lucky.
To quote Trimet: Smoking is prohibited on buses and trains, and where posted at bus shelters, MAX stations and transit centers. If you smoke, be considerate of your fellow riders by moving away from the shelter or station. When this fool does manage to score a cigarette, he usually smokes it until the second before he steps on the train and discards the still lit butt somewhere behind him while stepping into the train car. I'm sure all those people appreciate your cloud of smoke flooding into the train when the doors open, dude.
- a. Do you see me smoking? No. Why, then, do you think I have a cigarette to give you?
- 3. Grumpy Old Guy at work: We have a conference room that attaches to our break room via accordian divider. I like to work in there with the main lights off and the divider half open so that there's light, but not blinding light. Coworker A and Grumpy Old Guy came in during their break because the break room proper was too full. Grumpy old guy decides, on his own, without consulting anyone else, that he "needs light to see what he's eating." Keep in mind that it's not pitch black, it's lit well enough that I can do paperwork. So, he turns on all of the overhead lights on without even asking if we're okay with it.
I said, "Come on, was that really necessary?"
"It was too dark."
So I said, "Well, I was here first, and you could have asked."
"You were here first," he imitated snidely. Then he told me to grow up.
Oh, I'm sorry, I should have been pleased you're an ass who couldn't be bothered to ask if everyone else wanted the lights on? Considering I was there before you and was still going to be there when your break was over, I don't see how it was too much to ask that you respect my wishes. I told him to go back into the break room if he needed extra light and turned the lights back off. He shut the fuck up and stayed in his seat. Apparently he didn't need that precious extra light to shovel food into his big mouth after all.
- 1. Leashless dog guy: Walking to work, I was accosted by some guy's dog because he didn't have it on a leash and hadn't trained it to heel. He kept yelling at the dog to stop, but did that do any good? No. I put my leg out towards the dog so it couldn't jump on me, since I didn't want big slobbering dog saliva on my work clothes. When the guy came over to retrieve his dog, I said, "That's why there are leash laws, y'know. Your dog might be nice, but other people's dogs might not." Do these people ever stop to think that their dog might pick that day to go haywire and bite someone? Do they think about the fact that the person their dogs runs up to might be allergic to dogs? That they might be afraid of dogs? That I might be carrying my bunny home from the vet and I don't want your huge fucking saint bernard scaring him to death? Nooooo, never.
Okay, I have to go sneeze in the other room now. ::achoo to you!::