Death Becomes Us
My Great-uncle passed away yesterday. I really did not know him very well. My mother has been spending a lot of time with both my grand aunt and uncle since they are relatively close by. I admire that she would do this. She is much more generous than I.
When you are small, you don't think too much about Death. It is something that happens off-stage. You may recall some incidents from childhood but over all, as a child, you are immune to the impact or effect it has on others. You blunder around in a carefree daze oblivious to your surroundings.
Then during the teenage years there is a sense of Immortality. On one hand you are ageless, on the other hand, you are coming into your own- facing peer pressure, bodily changes and awakening sexuality. Again you may hear about Death but unless it strikes close to home, it is in the distance, around the corner.
But you get older, friends marry, you see your parents age and are not as strong as they once were. You forget that they can't do the things that they were able to once and you become scared. Sometimes you see the sadness in their eyes that seem to say "Where have the years gone?". You want to make everything RIGHT for them. You want to ease their sadness or their loneliness but you still have your life to lead. Your dreams to achieve. Your family to care for.
Your friends start having children and the Circle of Life continues. But then people you once knew, neighbours, acquaintances, relatives suddenly disappear. The man who sold you candy is replaced without explanation. The woman who sat next to you at work-her desk sits empty. And life goes on. When they die, your connection to the Past grows tenuous. The cobweb of memory grow more hazy. It is natural to have the memories fade. It is natural to move on.
People retire and others take their place. The cogs in the machine continue to grind, sucking life out of us day by day. Eventually you forget that your friends have left and the people who are there seem to slide in the positions effortlessly. You may remember a long gone friend or relative in passing and then your mind moves on.
I guess I don't want to have my father become just become a memory. I don't want to lose him. Yet, I know that it will happen and I will have to deal with a sadness that I can not even begin to fathom.
To all our parents
When you are small, you don't think too much about Death. It is something that happens off-stage. You may recall some incidents from childhood but over all, as a child, you are immune to the impact or effect it has on others. You blunder around in a carefree daze oblivious to your surroundings.
Then during the teenage years there is a sense of Immortality. On one hand you are ageless, on the other hand, you are coming into your own- facing peer pressure, bodily changes and awakening sexuality. Again you may hear about Death but unless it strikes close to home, it is in the distance, around the corner.
But you get older, friends marry, you see your parents age and are not as strong as they once were. You forget that they can't do the things that they were able to once and you become scared. Sometimes you see the sadness in their eyes that seem to say "Where have the years gone?". You want to make everything RIGHT for them. You want to ease their sadness or their loneliness but you still have your life to lead. Your dreams to achieve. Your family to care for.
Your friends start having children and the Circle of Life continues. But then people you once knew, neighbours, acquaintances, relatives suddenly disappear. The man who sold you candy is replaced without explanation. The woman who sat next to you at work-her desk sits empty. And life goes on. When they die, your connection to the Past grows tenuous. The cobweb of memory grow more hazy. It is natural to have the memories fade. It is natural to move on.
People retire and others take their place. The cogs in the machine continue to grind, sucking life out of us day by day. Eventually you forget that your friends have left and the people who are there seem to slide in the positions effortlessly. You may remember a long gone friend or relative in passing and then your mind moves on.
I guess I don't want to have my father become just become a memory. I don't want to lose him. Yet, I know that it will happen and I will have to deal with a sadness that I can not even begin to fathom.
To all our parents