What's Happening?
I think there are some things that are flitting around in my head. I think I am setting myself up for disappointment. Again. Why me? I thought I was going to avoid the whole sordid thing but like an itch, it strikes, just between the shoulders, slightly out of reach, where you can, if you grasp, only manage to caress the spot instead of ridding yourself of the burden. (Wow! What a metaphor!!)
How is it that....oblivious...how can so few words be so heart-rending? 'I don't think so'. I don't get it? I need to steel myself against the inevitable. But the inevitable is exactly what it purports to be... inevitable.
So then, does one, prolong the inevitable? Or does one face it full on (or with blinders)?
I think there are things I need and I am not able to get at this time. So my choice is to focus on what I need to do vs. pondering on what I have lost. I guess in those terms, 'focus' or 'pondering' makes it seem almost unimportant.
What I would like to do is...but I can't because, what I want I can't have, get, experience. So in some ways, I am a bit empty (and no, don't worry, it's not an all encompassing 'empty') its a small empty that threatens to grow and consume... joke! It is an empty that... Look at that, I can't even put it into words.
Anyways, I am here, a little empty, a little lost and a little sad. But, perhaps, just perhaps, something will shine a light in me and perhaps that little emptiness will get filled, even for a little bit not with what I seem to have (which is hope) but with something a little more substantial...
Well, enough of my pondering. Studied all day yesterday and got a bit done, but I am thinking, I need to do some more today. I would rather waste some time and enjoy something of the city. But I really need to finish reading some articles.
How is it that....oblivious...how can so few words be so heart-rending? 'I don't think so'. I don't get it? I need to steel myself against the inevitable. But the inevitable is exactly what it purports to be... inevitable.
So then, does one, prolong the inevitable? Or does one face it full on (or with blinders)?
I think there are things I need and I am not able to get at this time. So my choice is to focus on what I need to do vs. pondering on what I have lost. I guess in those terms, 'focus' or 'pondering' makes it seem almost unimportant.
What I would like to do is...but I can't because, what I want I can't have, get, experience. So in some ways, I am a bit empty (and no, don't worry, it's not an all encompassing 'empty') its a small empty that threatens to grow and consume... joke! It is an empty that... Look at that, I can't even put it into words.
Anyways, I am here, a little empty, a little lost and a little sad. But, perhaps, just perhaps, something will shine a light in me and perhaps that little emptiness will get filled, even for a little bit not with what I seem to have (which is hope) but with something a little more substantial...
Well, enough of my pondering. Studied all day yesterday and got a bit done, but I am thinking, I need to do some more today. I would rather waste some time and enjoy something of the city. But I really need to finish reading some articles.