The most important thing
What's the most important thing in life?
This question was in one of those e-mail surveys I got recently, and I found myself stuck on the question. The first answer that came to mind was happiness. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn't really true. If the most important thing in life is your own happiness, what about everyone else? What are you willing to sacrifice to be happy? Who are you willing to hurt? If you're unhappy, is your life a flop?
Maybe I put too much thought into my answer. It's just an e-mail, after all.
I am a sucker for Deep Thoughts.
I finally realized today, while sitting at my desk doing the mind numbing work of my mind numbing job.
My realization actually has much to do with another answer I had no problem giving to this e-mail survey:
What is the least important thing in life? To which I answered: money.
As a socialist bordering on communist, left-wing liberal, this was of course the first answer that came to mind. Funny how I didn't give it nearly as much thought as I did the other.
Now, though, I'm thinking...no matter how much I don't want it to be true, money is pretty darn important. Money is the reason I am here at said mind-numbing job and not pursuing the things that I love. I need money to pay for my home, utilities, food, clothes, daycare....et cetera et cetera. I am not a materialistic person, but I do enjoy the basic comforts of my life. Central heat and air. Running water. A hot meal every night. A car that runs well. Keeping my daughter in a good school. I enjoy vacations and eating out occasionally. I like going to the movies sometimes.
And so I am stuck here, for now at least, feeling as if I've put my life on hold. Not doing what I love. Waiting for the time when we can afford for me to leave this job. Because of money, I have stunted my ability to live my life with passion, which is what I've decided is the most important thing (to me at least).
Which, of course, says a lot about money. While money is not important ideally, it sure as heck is important in the real world as we know it.
I've decided that living with passion is the most important thing in life because of how all-encompassing it is. I don't want to half-live my life. I don't want to compromise my values or my aspirations because someone tells me I shouldn't. I don't want to make a decisions based on what's popular or traditional. I don't want to be held back by fear or timidity. I don't want to spend every day thinking that I'll be happy/satisfied/content when I get to some arbitrary point in the future.
This is an easy thing to say, but not so easy to do. I am, after all, still plugging away at this job (which I'm bored with) and school (which is driving me slowly insane). I think what keeps me sane is knowing that I am doing these things to help me reach a greater goal: to be well-educated and financially stable and to have the freedom to pursue my passions and raise my kid and spend time with my husband. I guess that sort of makes me passionate about the not-so-fun things I'm doing right now by default (if that makes any sense at all!)
What am I passionate about? You might be wondering. A short list:
My family
God
my values
Pregnancy and childbirth
Breastfeeding
Children's Education (this ones quickly growing on me)
Learning (but not so much about school)
Being a good mom
Being a good wife
My friends
Health food!
Writing
Breast cancer research
What are you passionate about?