On diplomacy
Diplomatic (adj.): showing tact and skill in dealing with people.
Yesterday afternoon on the commute home I was having a phone conversation with K (my Best Friend) about this word. The thing was that we just couldn’t remember the pesky word. Guess I was having a down day when it came to vocabulary. My theory was that my lack of recall had something to do with lying in bed at 2:30 AM the morning before discussing gerunds with J.
Anyway, K embodies the word diplomacy. She has ever since we were in high school where *nobody* is diplomatic. It always made me just a little jealous, that. I’ve always been about 2/3 introvert and 1/3 nag; the latter mostly comes out with only the people I’m most comfortable with (unfortunately for them). Take my husband, for example. Every time I see one of those stereotypical yapping annoying wives on TV I promise myself that I will make a more concerted effort to just Keep My Mouth Shut the next time he does something that bugs me. Then the next time rolls around and I can only grind my teeth for so long. My pet peeves are more like neurotic obsessions and they just take on a life of their own. Really. After about 30 seconds of aforementioned teeth grinding I’m back at the nagging again, asking him to chew more quietly or close the cabinet doors or just *wake up* already and…well, you get the picture.
Some days I figure you just have to laugh it off. Women are genetically predisposed to nagging and men are predisposed to…lounge? Stonewall? Who knows. Either way, it’s amazing anyone stays married. But they do, and we do, and after (almost) 3 years I think we’re finally starting to figure this whole marriage thing out.
As for that other 2/3, that’s what comes out everywhere else. Work, grocery store, parties, bars…I’m the one you don’t notice. It’s not that I’m unfriendly or stuck up. I’m not even shy (anymore); surprisingly enough that painful emotion did pass with age and childbearing. I just have Many Things on my mind and I don’t like strangers. (As a side note, I shouldn’t be surprised that I have no friends). Which was why it bothered me today when one of my coworkers passed by and said I seemed especially cheerful. I asked him if I didn’t seem cheerful the rest of the time, to which his reply was “No, you mostly just seem like you’re here.”
Well, ouch.
I *was* in a surprisingly good mood today, which makes me think it was a simple exaggeration. But still. Maybe I need to work on my cheerfulness (and diplomacy) in general. If only I could carry around that warm, fuzzy, people-lovin’ attitude I get when I’m at a birth (or talking about birth, or just hanging out with other people who love birth) with me everywhere. I’d be wildly popular.
Stay tuned…tomorrow I plan to talk about God. Or something like that.