After all these misspent hours....

[manthem]

The problem with good intentions is that they always start with direction. As a person who finds definate direction difficult to maintain i find often that despite the best of intentions i am sometimes pushed off course. Desire is tempered by my responsibilities and the issues that the real world throw up like monsters from any greek legend, test my convition making me the man i am today. I've found out over time that you can only want something so much before its aquisition becomes the goal itself and you no longer get to enjoy what you have worked so hard for. However i'm sitting here at the end of my summer that has had its many ups and its occaisional downs. In many ways its turned out better than expected and in some ways i haven't worked so hard towards bettering myself (an oh so arrogant and self depreciating goal - but one i want to pursue)and have just relaxed and not thought about the wider picture. I could say this is an extension of my end of term desire for fun but in some ways it makes me feel somewhat normal. This isn't a bad thing but something i've never felt overly comfortable being. I've never desired to be just another person. My dreams have always looked larger than life and in some ways if i wasn't able to achieve something in that respect it would be hard to carry on. This summer i've lived with no purpose other than as a money making machine. This although satisfying in some respects has led me to neglect my friends, myself and those that i care for. So i'd like to take the time here to say sorry for not really being there at times i could have helped (even if your one of the people who will never read this) and to close a book on an enteraining but thankfully concluded summer holiday.

Feel free to drop me a line anyone even if its just to say hi - it'd be nice to just know

P.s

Oh and GIP