(no subject)
Well as is customary for me I've returned here because of something bad so i'll apologise for that in advance, despite the fact that I doubt anybody uses this anymore. Unfortunately I lost my Nanna on Saturday morning. She was 82 and her heart gave way while she slept at her house.
Its been incredibly hard because Ive never dealt with close death before and my brother and mam (whose mam she was) have both taken it badly and needed support (my mam especially since she's convinced she needs to feel blame for feeling a slight resentment towards doing the hundreds of things which she did for my nanna each month such as hospital visits and the like), which i've tried to provide through my own grief.
My nanna was a wonderful person though, she never said a bad thing about anybody, was always modest, caring and kind and would help out in any way she could, despite an reluctance to help herself sometimes. Today I saw her in the chapel of rest but it wasn't really her, her mannerisms, her speach, her eyes were not visible meaning that it was my nanna's body, but not her. Still It was an incredibly hard visit to make but one that had to be done for me to see her and say goodbye before the funeral on saturday.
Its going to be hard not to see her again, or to pick up the phone and talk to her, and I'm not entirely sure i fully realise that yet. What I do realise though is that my nanna loved me and was proud of me, philip and my mam, and that I loved her too.
As she used to say: Night night, God bless. xxx
Its been incredibly hard because Ive never dealt with close death before and my brother and mam (whose mam she was) have both taken it badly and needed support (my mam especially since she's convinced she needs to feel blame for feeling a slight resentment towards doing the hundreds of things which she did for my nanna each month such as hospital visits and the like), which i've tried to provide through my own grief.
My nanna was a wonderful person though, she never said a bad thing about anybody, was always modest, caring and kind and would help out in any way she could, despite an reluctance to help herself sometimes. Today I saw her in the chapel of rest but it wasn't really her, her mannerisms, her speach, her eyes were not visible meaning that it was my nanna's body, but not her. Still It was an incredibly hard visit to make but one that had to be done for me to see her and say goodbye before the funeral on saturday.
Its going to be hard not to see her again, or to pick up the phone and talk to her, and I'm not entirely sure i fully realise that yet. What I do realise though is that my nanna loved me and was proud of me, philip and my mam, and that I loved her too.
As she used to say: Night night, God bless. xxx