of death & dying.
grampa nick died this weekend. he wasn't really my grampa, but he was the closest thing i had to one, & one of the two decent people on my dad's side of the family. i'm not sure even now how exactly i'm related to him, & Mah Sistah says that because of that, i can't possibly be effected by it. but i am. because it's sad. he's was a wise old man, & i didn't learn nearly enough from him. i didn't even get to see him this christmas.
i'm missing his wake & funeral as well, because they are today & tomorrow & i can't miss classes the last week before spring break. i feel bad, because he deserves respect. & there are very few people in that side of the family who condescend enough to give anyone respect, let alone an old man who died of a stroke in his driveway.
other than that, i was my hometown over the weekend, but i stayed with Mah Sistah. i only saw my mother once, & i kept her talking about safe things, & made sure to inform her that i will not be in town much over break & when i was in town, i wouldn't be at the house. there was a small get-together at Mah Sistah's house, but i didn't even know half the people there. however, i did get to hang out with two of my lesbian friends, which was nice because all but one of my friends down here are straight. which can actually be hard in itself sometimes.
i also saw a male friend of mine whom i hadn't seen in quite a while. he's a good guy, & he's funny, & i don't mind spending time with him. but he's touchy. & he was technically my first kiss... not because i wanted it, but because he just did it & i've never known how to say no. & he did this after i had told him that i'm gay. it was awkward. because he was being touchy. & i was in my hometown. & that made it really uncomfortable.
as ken would say, i have major space issues.
truly yours,
xX. the girl.
i'm missing his wake & funeral as well, because they are today & tomorrow & i can't miss classes the last week before spring break. i feel bad, because he deserves respect. & there are very few people in that side of the family who condescend enough to give anyone respect, let alone an old man who died of a stroke in his driveway.
other than that, i was my hometown over the weekend, but i stayed with Mah Sistah. i only saw my mother once, & i kept her talking about safe things, & made sure to inform her that i will not be in town much over break & when i was in town, i wouldn't be at the house. there was a small get-together at Mah Sistah's house, but i didn't even know half the people there. however, i did get to hang out with two of my lesbian friends, which was nice because all but one of my friends down here are straight. which can actually be hard in itself sometimes.
i also saw a male friend of mine whom i hadn't seen in quite a while. he's a good guy, & he's funny, & i don't mind spending time with him. but he's touchy. & he was technically my first kiss... not because i wanted it, but because he just did it & i've never known how to say no. & he did this after i had told him that i'm gay. it was awkward. because he was being touchy. & i was in my hometown. & that made it really uncomfortable.
as ken would say, i have major space issues.
truly yours,
xX. the girl.