OMG
I have been reading little articles on CF. In the UK (which is miles ahead of us in research... hmm... did this administration have anything to do with that? YES.) they have discovered a protien that could lead to treatments to help people with CF maintain weight. It also may be linked to the unusual form of diabetis (fuck I can't spell...) people with CF develop and may explain the unusually high rate of cancer in CF patients. That's not fair. We already have CF. We do not need a high rate of cancer, too. Fuck that.
You know, I feel like crap, but I really can't let that get to me. I'm going to go on with my life no matter how I feel. That's the only way to live, honestly. I've spent way too much time in bed lately. I'm going to party by myself if I have to. There's an entire bottle of wine in the fridge if I'm desperate.
I'm turning 20 this week, and so far I have no plans for my birthday. There's the Rocky party the week after, which is technically for my bday, but I have no plans for the day of my birthday. Damnit! I want to dance at least a little before my surgery because I won't be allowed to for several weeks after.
"I've got arms, and I've got arms.
Let's get together and use those arms
Let's go
Time's a-wastin'"
FUCK! My parents were supposed to help me hang my mirror and the giant picture over the piano and my message boards... and none of it got done. The saddest part is I'm realizing this on Wednesday when they left here on Sunday. Wow.
I've lived here nearly two weeks and not one friend has been here. That makes me sad. All this space and no one ever visits me.
My biggest pet peeve is when people don't call me back. OMG. I'm not afraid of much, and I'm fairly self confident (probably more confident than I should be), but it really upsets me when people don't call me back. I'm talking when people don't call me for WEEKS... hmm, any ideas who I'm mad at? I figured you'd know. I've complained enough.
I can't decide why all my relationships are so fucking disfunctional. Maybe it's because I tend to find the people with more issues than me. It's hard to have more issues than me... I'm issued out, but somehow that's what I end up with. Maybe that's why I'm so independent. Maybe I'm too independent. Maybe I just don't care enough to make a relationship function.
I don't even want to get into my theories on what's going on this time, but I have theories. If you care to hear me ramble for quite a long time I will tell you my theories, but I just don't feel like typing them. Fuck! I just thought of another theory... that gets me up to like 1004. I'm so confused, and then I don't care enough to keep worrying, I guess. I don't know. I need someone to tell me what to do.
Surgery count down: Two weeks from tomorrow.
You know, I feel like crap, but I really can't let that get to me. I'm going to go on with my life no matter how I feel. That's the only way to live, honestly. I've spent way too much time in bed lately. I'm going to party by myself if I have to. There's an entire bottle of wine in the fridge if I'm desperate.
I'm turning 20 this week, and so far I have no plans for my birthday. There's the Rocky party the week after, which is technically for my bday, but I have no plans for the day of my birthday. Damnit! I want to dance at least a little before my surgery because I won't be allowed to for several weeks after.
"I've got arms, and I've got arms.
Let's get together and use those arms
Let's go
Time's a-wastin'"
FUCK! My parents were supposed to help me hang my mirror and the giant picture over the piano and my message boards... and none of it got done. The saddest part is I'm realizing this on Wednesday when they left here on Sunday. Wow.
I've lived here nearly two weeks and not one friend has been here. That makes me sad. All this space and no one ever visits me.
My biggest pet peeve is when people don't call me back. OMG. I'm not afraid of much, and I'm fairly self confident (probably more confident than I should be), but it really upsets me when people don't call me back. I'm talking when people don't call me for WEEKS... hmm, any ideas who I'm mad at? I figured you'd know. I've complained enough.
I can't decide why all my relationships are so fucking disfunctional. Maybe it's because I tend to find the people with more issues than me. It's hard to have more issues than me... I'm issued out, but somehow that's what I end up with. Maybe that's why I'm so independent. Maybe I'm too independent. Maybe I just don't care enough to make a relationship function.
I don't even want to get into my theories on what's going on this time, but I have theories. If you care to hear me ramble for quite a long time I will tell you my theories, but I just don't feel like typing them. Fuck! I just thought of another theory... that gets me up to like 1004. I'm so confused, and then I don't care enough to keep worrying, I guess. I don't know. I need someone to tell me what to do.
Surgery count down: Two weeks from tomorrow.