Apethetic rendering

Mar 22, 2004 10:14

So yeah i haveent updated in forever but it isn't like I have very many people reading this un-intellegent jargon. So yeah another one of my little white lies was discovered. I have figrured out what it is I have been doing with people. I guess you could say that I love to gamble, but not with my money not even my own emotions. I gamble away my friends emotions. yet I don it with out feeling any remorse. I don't feel sorry I just feel I lost my bet and had to pay up. Like for example I told Shan I was going to hang out with my mother all day *which technicly i did, but i was with Steve and my mother so that makes all the difference in the world. But back to story I told her I was going to be with my mooder cuz i really didn't feel like hanging out with her friday, and anytime I would clue in on the fact that I really didn't want to hangout she would get all depressed. So I made a gamble, I Told her my little white lie, which soon fell apart after Steve unraveled what we were doing up to that point. It is neither one of there fualts for what had happend but I had lost my bet cuase I was pretty careless about the whole thing. lalala Is it so bad that I happen to feel so apethetic anymore. I mean really if you thinkn about it I have one of the greatist deffences up agianst the unlikely chance of my being/state of mind being harmed lalala but yeah like steve said that makes me conceided but ehh who cares. LOL well go t to go bye love you all lolbye bye
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