Fic (Heroes/ The Office): You Don’t Have to Be a Super Hero to Work Here, But It Helps
The only way to get through finale season is to go a little silly...
You Don’t Have to Be a Super Hero to Work Here, But It Helps
Heroes / The Office (Crossover, PG)
Author's Notes: Thanks to marinwood again, for being superfast and being into all my fandoms. This is written for the whackapetrelli Inappropriate Petrellis Challenge because every show needs a Petrelli.
And because Filippelli rhymes with Petrelli. Seriously, that's all it took.
Karen hated the rain in Scranton. It wasn’t like Stamford was all blue skies and sunshine, but every time it rained in Scranton it reminded Karen that she could have been living in New York drinking cosmos in trendy bars and going to the latest Off-Broadway shows starring hot Law and Order actors. Instead she’d followed her boyfriend to Scranton where the only time she saw someone famous was when they opened a shopping mall or dedicated a bypass, and even then it was usually a local congressman or radio personality.
She came for Jim, so it stood to reason that she was peeved when Jim insisted on sleeping alone because apparently sleeping with Karen made him really tired. And it wasn’t like they were up all night having sex or talking, it was just that Jim, apparently, woke up feeling 'drained’ and he decided it had something to do with Karen.
Nice. That was just the kind of sweet talk she wanted to hear from her boyfriend after a hard day at the office.
The Dunder Mifflin parking lot looked even more dismal in the rain. Karen searched under the passenger seat of her car for her umbrella and found it wasn’t there. She groaned and slumped in her seat, staring out at the water gushing down her windshield. There had to be a break eventually. Or maybe one of the other Dunder Mifflin employees would show up in the mean time and share their umbrella? She looked at her watch. She was already ten minutes late.
Fifteen minutes later it was still raining. Twenty minutes later and Karen decided the rain had eased enough for her to make a run for it. She opened the door and pulled her coat over her head. She figured she looked ridiculous but she had to get to work somehow.
"Karen Petrelli?" A dark figure stepped into her path. He was wearing a long dark coat and carrying a pack on his back. He looked dangerous, like he’d stepped out of a John Wu movie.
“That’s not my name,” Karen said. “I think you have the wrong person,"
"Karen Filippelli," he said. "I'm sorry. I forgot you changed your name."
Karen shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously. She didn’t like that the dark and dangerous looking guy with the soul patch knew who she was. "Who are you?"
"I'm Hiro. I'm from the future."
Oh, boy, she thought. Nut-job.
"The future, huh?” Karen said. “So tell me, am I still working at Dunder Mifflin in the future? Because if I am, I’d really like it if you just killed me now."
"Oh no," he said. "Your destiny does not lie in selling paper."
Karen smiled a little. Nut-job or not, that was the nicest thing anyone had said to her all week. "Okay,” she said. “So, what is my destiny?"
"You have to save the receptionist."
"Huh?" Karen blinked.
"Save the receptionist, save the world."
"Pam?" Karen said.
"That's all I can tell you," Hiro said. "I have to go."
"Why does Pam need saving?" The rain started getting heavier again. Karen wiped damp hair from her eyes with both hands. When she took her hands away, Hiro was gone. She looked around the parking lot, but there wasn’t a trace of him. Karen blinked water out of her eyes. "Weird," she said.
Karen was soaked by the time she got inside the office "No umbrella?" Pam said, as Karen hung her coat on the rack.
“Don’t go there,” Karen said.
"Hey, Karen," Jim said from his seat. He held up Karen's umbrella. "You left this in my car."
Karen groaned. She should have known it was Jim’s fault. He drove her crazy sometimes. She took the umbrella from him. "I hate you," she said. She went into the bathroom and dried herself off, fixed her face and hair in the mirror. The day was turning out to suck already. Karen hated Scranton.
Back at her desk, Karen could see Pam looked just fine; hardly in need of saving. Not that Karen intended on paying attention to the ravings of the lunatic in the parking lot, but it was like avoiding walking under a ladder if you could help it. Why tempt fate? It hardly hurt to check on Pam, even if it was just for peace of mind.
"So the weirdest thing happened in the parking lot this morning," Karen said, turning her chair toward Jim.
"Michael opened his door without scratching the car next to him?" Jim said.
"No," Karen said. She tried to remember if she’d parked next to Michael.
"Seriously, have you noticed no one takes the spot next to Michael if they can help it?"
Karen had noticed that. God, she was going to be so pissed if she had to get a new paint job on the Taurus. "This weird little guy stopped me and told me he was from the future and I was supposed to save the world."
Jim raised his eyebrows. "Wow," he said. "What did he smell like?"
"Smell?"
"Yeah, whisky, bourbon, vodka…?"
"He smelled fine," Karen said. "And he knew my name."
Jim frowned. "I don't like the sound of that…"
"The really strange part, was that he told me I had to 'save the receptionist, save the world.'"
"Oh, very funny," Dwight said, turning in his chair to face them.
"Don't you have something important to do, Dwight?" Jim said. "Like maybe there's something in accounting you want to check out?"
Dwight didn’t take the bait. "'Save the receptionist, save the world," Dwight said. "It's from a comic book called Ninth Wonders." He opened his bag, rummaged around inside, and pulled out a comic book. The cover of the comic book showed a highly stylised drawing of a man and a woman standing in the rain. The woman held her coat over her head, like a hood. The caption read: 'save the receptionist, save the world.' "Isaac Mendes is a very talented artist,” Dwight said. “Some would say a genius…"
"Give me that." Jim snatched the comic book from Dwight's hands and pointed to the woman. "Karen, that's you."
Karen looked closer. It was her hair, her coat, her car in the background. She gasped, and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Don't be ridiculous," Dwight said. He leaned over and looked at the comic book, looked up at Karen. “It looks nothing like her,” he said, but he didn’t sound convinced. He leaned back in his chair, looking vaguely disturbed.
"That's weird," Jim said.
Karen tried not to think about it. It was probably an elaborate prank, or something to do with the documentary. Still, later that day she wandered over to the reception desk, and leaned on the counter top. “So…” she said to Pam, trying to sound casual; just hanging out, same as always. “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Pam said.
“Okay…” Karen said, nodding. “So - nothing unusual going on?”
“Karen,” Pam said, sighing. “I heard about the comic book and the weird guy in the parking lot.”
”Oh,” Karen said.
“And I’m fine. I don’t need saving.”
Karen smiled nervously. “Of course, you don’t,” Karen said. “It’s probably someone’s idea of a joke.”
“Yeah,” Pam said. “Someone…”
Karen raised her eyebrows. “Do you know something?”
“Well - “Pam said. “You know how elaborate some of Jim’s pranks are…”
“He wouldn’t do that to me,” Karen said. “Would he?”
“Jim gets bored,” Pam said. “This is how he passes time.”
Karen thought about it. Jim did get bored. Really bored. I’m going to kill him slowly, Karen thought.
She waited until later, when they were cuddled up on the couch in her apartment watching the Daily Show. Jim loved Jon Stewart in a way Karen didn’t like to think about. It was a good time to catch Jim off guard.
“Jim,” Karen said. “You understand pranks are strictly off limits when it comes to your girlfriend, right?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jim said, not looking away from the television.
“Because sometimes you pull some pretty random stuff,” she said
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Jim said.
“That guy in the parking lot, for instance,” Karen said. “That was really random.”
“Hey,” Jim said, turning to look at Karen. “It wasn’t me.”
“Well, who was it?” Karen said. “Dwight?”
“That was my first guess,” Jim said. “Except it’s too - good.”
“It is not good!” Karen said. She crossed her arms and huffed.
“Sorry,” Jim said, shrugging. “But if it’s a prank, someone’s gone to a lot of thought. I know a good prank when I see one.”
Karen frowned. Jim wasn’t supposed to be impressed; he was supposed to be worried. “You’re not helping.”
”I know,” Jim said apologetically. “I just don’t know what else to say, Filippelli.” He yawned. “And I’m really tired.”
“You’re tired a lot lately,” Karen said.
“Yeah,” Jim said. “Weird.”
*
The empty reception desk was the first thing Karen noticed when she and Jim arrived at the office the next day.
”Where’s Pam?” Jim said to anyone that was listening.
Phyllis shrugged. “She hasn’t called,”
Dwight harrumphed. “Not even a phone call,” he said. “I will be reporting her to Michael as soon as he gets back from New York.”
Michael was in New York for two days on a manager’s training course which everyone assumed was Michael’s way of saying he was having a long weekend with Jan.
Dwight’s attitude changed an hour later when the clock struck ten and there was no sign of Pam or Angela.
“She could be lying on the side of the road dismembered,” Dwight said, wringing his hands. “She could be wandering the woods alone, unable to remember who she is.”
“It’s weird,” Jim said to Karen. “Pam and Angela.”
Karen stared at her computer monitor. She hadn’t typed a word all morning. “Yeah,” Karen said. She felt a creeping feeling of anxiety in her stomach. “Weird.”
“Can I help you?” Jim said.
Karen looked up to see who Jim was talking to. There was a visitor standing at the reception desk: dark, good looking, and definitely Italian. Karen wondered when they turned up the heating; the office just got a lot warmer.
“Are you looking for someone?” Karen said, getting out of her seat.
The visitor nodded toward Pam’s empty seat. “Am I too late?”
“Oh, no,” Karen said. “You’re right on time.”
The visitor frowned.
Karen cleared her throat. “I mean - I’m sorry, late for what?”
“The receptionist,” the visitor said. “Where is she?”
“Who knows?” Kelly materialised out of nowhere. “I mean, it’s like, she could have called, but she didn’t and we were all, well, that’s okay because Pam probably wouldn’t call. But then Angela didn’t show up and we were worried because Angela didn’t call either and Angela would call. I’m Kelly, by the way, and that jacket looks really great on you. What did you say your name was?”
The visitor looked at Kelly like she was a Martian. “I didn’t,” he said warily. “I’m Peter. Peter Petrelli.”
Karen’s eyes went wide. “Petrelli?”
“Yeah,” Peter said.
“The guy in the parking lot,” Karen said. “He called me Karen Petrelli.”
Peter narrowed his eyes and looked at Karen, like he was focusing. “Hiro,” he said.
“Right,” Karen said, nodding. “That was his name. He told me I had to - “
“Save the receptionist; save the world?” Peter said.
“Yes,” Karen said. “Exactly. And now Pam is missing.”
“If Hiro came to you, he must have had a reason,” Peter said. “Has anything weird happened to you lately?”
Karen looked around the office. Jim looked at Michael’s door. Kelly looked at Peter.
“Define ‘weird,’” Karen said.
“Have you noticed you could do - ah - things you couldn’t before,” Peter said.
Karen put her chin in her hand and looked at the floor. Last week she faked hypoglycaemia so Michael wouldn’t tell her about his neighbour trimming her rosebushes in a bikini. Michael rushed to Pam’s desk for candy and let Karen recuperate in the break room for the afternoon. Jim was impressed. “Not really,” she said. “But what does all this have to do with Pam?”
“Pam’s in trouble,” Peter said. “We need to…”
“Wait!” Dwight said, jumping up from his seat. He grabbed the comic book off his desk and opened it, holding it up so everyone could see. “You’re this guy!” Dwight pointed to a character in the comic book.
Everyone leaned in to take a closer look. The comic book character looked darker and meaner but there was definitely a resemblance to Peter.
“Can I see that?” Peter said, holding out his hand to Dwight. “It might contain a clue.”
The comic book story started with Hiro meeting Karen in the rain outside Dunder Mifflin. The rest of the story followed the Bad Guy: a hooded, cloaked character who roamed the streets at night, muttering to himself about revenge and justice. The final panel showed a young woman tied to a pole in a dark and empty room. She was wearing a pink jacket and sensible shoes; she looked terrified.
“That’s Pam,” Karen said, passing the comic book to Jim. Jim passed the comic book to Oscar, who passed it to Andy, who passed it to Ryan, who passed it to Kevin. They all nodded in agreement.
“So who’s the Bad Guy?” Karen asked.
“It could be Sylar,” Peter said, sounding doubtful. “But I don’t think so. The outfit isn’t his style.”
“Bad Girl,” Kevin said. Everyone looked at Kevin. “She’s got girl arms,” Kevin said.
Karen grabbed the comic off Kevin and took a closer look. The Bad Guy definitely had shapely arms. Karen held the comic book up to the light. In one panel it appeared the Bad Guy had long hair. It was a small drawing and the shadows were overstated, but the Bad Guy appeared to have long, white hair.
White, pale, blonde. “Angela!” Karen said. The Bad Girl is Angela.
“It’s not Angela,” Dwight said.
“It has to be,” Karen said. “It can’t be a coincidence that they’ve both gone missing.”
Everyone looked at each other in disbelief. Kelly covered her mouth with her hand.
“I always knew she was evil,” Phyllis said, shaking her head.
“No!” Dwight said suddenly. He tore the comic book out of Karen’s hands, and clutched it to his chest. “It’s not Angela.” He sat down at his desk again and stuffed the comic book in his drawer, locking it and putting the key in his pocket.
“Who’s Angela?” Peter said.
Dwight’s affair with Angela was a secret to everyone but Jim and, therefore, Karen. Karen had promised Jim she wouldn’t tell but now was hardly the time to keep confidences. Pam’s life was at stake and Karen didn’t know what Angela was capable of.
“Where is she?” Karen said, leaning across the desk and grabbing Dwight by the lapels. “Where is Angela?”
“How would Dwight know?” Phyllis asked.
”They’ve been having a secret affair,” Karen said.
Everyone gasped. Karen admitted she, too, was shocked when she heard. Dwight, Angela and sex where three ideas she never wanted have in the same thought process.
Jim carefully detached Karen’s hands from Dwight’s lapels. “Come on, Dwight,” Jim said gently. “Think about it; what would Batman do?”
“Batman?” Dwight said, looking up at Jim. “Batman is a bitter and twisted old man. Haven’t you read the Dark Knight Returns?”
Jim looked at Karen. Karen shrugged.
“What would Admiral Adama do?” Creed said.
Everyone looked at Creed. “What?” Creed said, holding up his hands.
Dwight nodded slowly. “The survival of humanity; that’s what’s important,” Dwight said, more to himself than anyone else. “This is not the time for personal ties.” He stood up suddenly. “I’ll take you there,” he said to Karen.
“I’m coming with you,” Peter said.
“Me too,” Jim said.
“Do you need a ride,” Kelly said to Peter. “Because you can come with me and - ah - whatsisname.”
”Whatsisname?” Jim said.
”I think she means me,” Ryan said.
“Peter is coming with us,” Karen said. She grabbed Peter’s arm and steered him toward the door, before Kelly could protest. Kelly had the tenacity of a terrier, and they didn’t have time to prise Peter away from Kelly’s vise-like grip.
They went in Jim’s car, Dwight giving directions from the passenger seat. “No,“ Dwight was saying to Jim. “When I said next left I mean the next left after the left we are about to pass.”
”Of course you did,” Jim said.
Peter and Karen sat in the back seat. “Actually,” Peter said to Karen. “I - ah - kind of know where we’re going.”
“Why didn’t you say?” Karen said.
”I can read minds,” Peter said. He nodded at Dwight. “I can read his mind. It’s just that - it’s really weird in there.”
“You can read minds,” Karen repeated. She’d heard everything this week. “So - what am I thinking now?”
”I’m very flattered,” Peter said. “But all that chocolate sauce would be messy.”
Karen stared at Peter in disbelief. “Wow,” she said. “And - um - sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Peter said. “If it’s any consolation, that other girl was imagining me in a tub of Jell-o wearing a loin cloth and wrestling Justin Timberlake.”
“Were you winning?” Karen said.
“It was too close to call,” Peter said.
*
Dwight lead them (eventually) to an abandoned warehouse two blocks from Angela’s apartment.
“How did you know about this place?” Karen asked Dwight as she got out of the car.
“We go here to make out,” Dwight said sadly.
“They both live at home with their parents,” Peter said to Karen and Jim. He looked at Dwight. “And I’m going to need a brain scrub to wash that image out of my head.”
“Peter can read minds,” Karen said to Jim.
“Right,” Jim said.
“He really can,” Karen said. “Show him,” she said to Peter.
Peter narrowed his eyes, and focused on Jim. “Oh, I’m emo?” he said to Jim. “You look like you just stepped out of a Death Cab for Cutie video.”
“Wow,” Jim said.
Ryan’s car pulled up and Ryan, Kelly, Kevin and Oscar got out. Phyllis, Creed, Meredith and Toby pulled up in a second car.
“Stanley didn’t come?” Jim said to Ryan
“I asked,” Phyllis said. “He said he preferred being tortured by Angela the usual way.”
Peter looked at the crowd forming and frowned. “What are all these people doing here?”
“We are really bored at work,” Jim said. “I mean really - “
“Yeah, I get it,” Peter said.
Dwight banged on the double-doors to the warehouse, his face pressed against the boarded-up windows. “Angela!” he yelled. “It’s me Angela.” He banged on the door harder. ”ANGELAAAA!!”
Karen decided to take matters into her own hands. She opened the trunk of Jim’s car, took out the tire iron, and wedged it between the doors. “Come on,” she said to Jim, as she levered the tire iron. “Give me a hand here.”
“Let me do it,” Peter said to Karen. “Stand back.” Peter stared at the doors, holding his hand out. The doors creaked and strained.
“What’s he doing?” Jim asked Karen.
“Opening the door,” Karen said. “I hope.”
The doors made a loud, screeching sound and then they both buckled, leaving a gap wide enough to walk through.
“What else can you do?” Karen said to Peter.
“A lot of things,” Peter said. “I mimic other powers.”
“So there are other people who can do what you do?”
“Yes,” Peter said. “And I think you’re one of them. That’s why Hiro came to you.”
“That’s crazy,” Karen said. “I just sell paper.”
“Everybody has to start somewhere,” Peter said.
Karen looked at the gap between the two doors. “Come on,” she said, nodding toward the entrance. “Let’s go in.”
Peter held her back. “Me first,” he said.
Peter slipped through the gap, and then motioned for Karen to follow. Karen went in after Peter, followed by Jim, Dwight and the rest of the office. Peter knew where he was going. He walked resolutely to the back of the warehouse, to where a strange glow emanated from the single window above the door of what was once probably the warehouse office.
“In there,” Peter said. He raised his hand, and focused on the door, the same way he had done outside.
“Wait,” Dwight said. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a key.
Peter gave Karen and Jim a look. Karen and Jim shrugged in unison.
Dwight opened the door. “Angela?” he said warily, slowly leaning around the door. He was immediately thrown to the floor by an unseen force, landing on his back. He twitched and kicked his legs a few times and then went unconscious.
Peter knelt down on the floor and checked Dwight’s pulse. “He’s okay,” Peter said. “Just stunned.”
“Stunned like tasered?” Karen asked.
“Maybe,” Peter said. “Something hit him with a lot power.” He closed his eyes, and looked like he was concentrating. “Angela,” he said, when he opened them again. He nodded at the partially open door. “Angela can control electrical currents in the air.”
“Cool,” Kevin said.
Jim looked at Dwight on the floor. “He’d be so impressed right now if he wasn’t unconscious.”
Peter stood up. “I’m going in,” he said.
“Me too,” Karen said.
“You can’t.” Peter said. “She’s dangerous. I can mimic her power, and I’ve got a few powers of my own, but I don’t know what she’ll do to you…”
“But I have to,” Karen said. “Hiro came to me, remember? Save the receptionist, save the world; isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”
“Help!” Pam’s voice called from behind the door. “Help me! She’s crazy!”
“Shut up!” Angela shrieked. The light emanating from the room grew suddenly brighter. Pam screamed.
“I’m going in too,” Jim said.
“No way,” Peter said shaking his head. “No one else gets hurt today.”
Karen looked at Jim. She didn’t want to think about what Jim was going to do if Angela zapped him. She didn’t even know what she was going to do, but at least she had soul-patch guy’s prediction on her side. What did Jim have?
Still, Karen thought, what if Jim was the reason she saved the receptionist? What if Jim had the power, and Hiro came to Karen because he knew Jim would come with her? What if she wasn’t dating Jim and Pam got killed because Jim and Karen never met? What if Karen went to the New York office instead, and then everyone at the Scranton office died because Angela killed them?
Karen’s head hurt.
“Try not to think about it so much,” Peter said to Karen.
“Come on,” Karen said, taking Jim’s arm. She looked at Peter resolutely. “We’re going in.”
“Okay,” Peter said. “But no one else.”
The others looked at each other, nodding in agreement. It turned out, only Karen and Jim were crazy enough to enter a room with an electrified Angela. Kelly leapt forward and threw her arms around Peter’s neck, kissing him on the cheek. “For luck,” she said, when she pulled away.
“I’m right here,” Ryan said.
Peter pushed the door open carefully, and they edged inside, one after another. At the far end of the room, Pam was tied to an exposed wooden beam, her hands above her head. Angela was wearing a black cloak with a hood that looked suspiciously like Dwight’s Halloween costume from last year. Electricity arced between her fingers, like spider webs. She scowled when she saw them.
“What now?” Karen said.
Peter held up his hand in a ‘we come in peace’ gesture. “Now, Angela, I know you’re angry -“
Angela looked at Jim and Karen. “Who’s he?” she said, inclining her head toward Peter.
“He’s here to help you, Angela,” Jim said.
“Do I look like I need help, Jim?” Angela shooting bolts of electricity into the air.
They all jumped. Karen grabbed Jim’s arm for support. “Why, Angela?” Karen said. “What has Pam ever done to you?”
Angela pulled herself up straight. “She borrowed my Bic Accountant Fine Point pen and never gave it back,” she said.
“I told you,” Pam said. “I lost it in the gap between the reception desk and the wall. I bought you a new one.”
“It’s not the same!”
“It was exactly the same!”
“It was NOT!” Angela said. She shot a bolt of electricity past Pam’s head. Pam pressed her lips together hard.
“She wouldn’t really kill Pam, would she?” Karen whispered to Peter.
Peter looked worried. “She’s pretty angry. She also seems to think Pam ruined Christmas.”
“Oh,” Karen said, looking at the ceiling. “How strange.”
“I can get her out of harm’s way,” Peter said. He held up his hand, but Angela was already ahead of him. She fired a bolt of electricity at Peter, hitting him square in the chest. Peter staggered back a couple of steps, and looks dazed, but he was fine.
“She didn’t hurt you?” Karen said, looking at Peter.
Peter looked confused. “I can regenerate,” he said. “Although it doesn’t usually happen this fast. Maybe it’s something to do with her.” He nodded at Angela.
Angela raised an eyebrow, and then she turned to Karen.
“No!” Peter said. He reached for Karen, but Angela got their first. A bolt of electricity sent Karen reeling backwards. She lost her balance, stumbled a little, but she didn’t fall. She righted herself, took a breath and blinked. “Woah,” she said.
Peter touched Karen’s arm. “You’re okay?” He said.
”Yeah,” Karen said. “What did you do?”
“It wasn’t me. It was you.” Peter smiled at Karen. “That’s how you save the receptionist.”
It took Karen a moment to realise what Peter was saying. Angela couldn’t hurt Karen and if Angela couldn’t hurt Karen, she couldn’t hurt Peter.
Karen had a plan. She grinned at Peter. Peter grinned back. “Let’s do it,” Karen said.
Karen ran across the room and threw herself in front of Pam. Peter stood in front of Jim. “Stay behind me,” Peter said to Jim. Peter held up in his hand, like he did when he was opening the outside doors, and lifted Angela into the air, landing her onto her back on the floor, pinning her there. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop her shooting out bolts of electricity in all directions. Karen covered Pam, holding her arms over Pam’s in case a stray electrical bolt caught them. It wasn’t safe to move.
“What now?” Karen said to Peter.
“I don’t know,” Peter said, as another electrical bolt hit him in the arm.
“ANGELA!”
The electricity stopped.
Karen turned around, and saw Dwight in the doorway. He looked disorientated and dishevelled, like he’d barely recovered from his shock.
“Dwight?” Angela said.
Dwight held up his hands. “Please don’t zap me, again.”
”I zapped you?” Angela said. She looked confused for a moment, and then she realised she wasn’t stuck to the floor anymore. She stood up.
Karen looked at Peter. Peter nodded. Karen carefully undid the ropes around Pam’s wrists.
“Come back to the good side, Angela,” Dwight said, moving toward Angela. “It’s not too late.”
The ropes around Pam’s wrists fell away and Pam rubbed the circulation back into her wrists. Karen lead her quietly toward the door. Jim and Peter went before them, treading softly.
“It’s too late for me, Dwight,” Angela said sadly.
“No,” Dwight says. “There is still good in you. I can feel it...”
Karen was the last out. She closed the door behind her gently.
“Come on,” Jim said, ushering everyone toward the double-doors. “Everybody out.”
They all walked quietly toward the exit, no one saying a word. Once everyone was outside, Peter straightened the doors behind them so they were closed once more.
It was only then that everyone let out their breath. “You saved my life,” Pam said to Karen. “Just like that guy in the parking lot said you would.” She threw her arms around Karen’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “My hero.”
Karen blushed. “It was nothing,” she said sheepishly, looking at the ground.
“We need to get out of here,” Peter said. “I don’t know how long that room will hold her.”
“What about Dwight?” Karen said.
“She won’t hurt him,” Peter said.
Karen smiled. Telepathy was pretty handy sometimes.
*
Back at the office, it seemed like everyone was completely wired, going over events again and again, and talking about how cool it was when Peter bent the doors or when Angela zapped Dwight. Kelly related the entire story for the benefit of Stanley who wasn’t there. Stanley said kept doing his crossword, occasionally looking up at Karen and saying, “Mmmhmm.”
Peter leaned against the reception, his hands in his pockets, like he wasn’t sure whether to say goodbye or make a quiet exit. Karen joined him.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she told him.
“Yeah, you could,” Peter said. “But you’ll have plenty of opportunity to prove that in the future.”
“I guess it doesn’t wear off,” Karen said.
“Not so much, no,” Peter said.
The doors opened and a man in an expensive suit walked into the office, saw Peter and immediately threw his arms around Peter’s neck. “Peter! You’re all right,” he said, burying his face in Peter’s hair. Peter embraced the man in the suit tightly, arms around his shoulders.
Karen raised her eyebrows. Kelly was going to be so disappointed when she found out Peter was gay.
“Uh, Karen - “ Peter said, pulling away from the man in the suit. “This is my brother, Nathan.”
“Oh,” Karen said, embarrassed. “Nice to meet you,“ she said to Nathan, holding out her hand.
“Likewise,” Nathan said. He had a low, throaty, bedroom voice that made Karen think of cognac, cigars, satin sheets and a lot of foreplay. She sure as hell hoped Peter wasn’t reading her thoughts right now.
Kelly was suddenly there again, holding out her hand to Nathan. “Hi,” she said, smiling widely.
And then Phyllis, Meredith and Oscar seemed to appear out of nowhere, all holding out their hands for Nathan to take, grinning stupidly.
“Uh, nice to meet you all,” Nathan said, in his low voice.
“Ohh…” Phyllis said. Kelly giggled. So did Oscar.
“You didn’t have to come,’ Peter said to Nathan.
“Yes, I did,” Nathan said. “Isaac drew this.” Nathan took out a Polaroid. Peter looked at it briefly and then gave it to Karen.
The Polaroid showed a painting of Peter with electricity ripping through him, his eyes rolling back in his head. “Wow,” Karen said. “That’s just how it happened…”
“Only you were there to save me,” Peter said.
“You saved my brother?” Nathan said to Karen. “I can’t thank you enough.”
He had dark eyes and the longest lashes Karen had ever seen. Her knees shook and her stomach did flip-flops. “Don’t mention it,” she squeaked.
“So does the - “ Jim made a gesture with his hand, mimicking the way Peter had opened the doors earlier. “- run in the family?”
Peter and Nathan exchanged a look. “Not exactly,” Peter said.
“More than you know,” a voice behind Peter and Nathan said.
Nathan and Peter turned around. Behind them was an older woman, dressed in Chanel and looking way too sophisticated for Scranton, let alone Dunder Mifflin.
“Mom?” Nathan said. “What are you doing here?”
“Peter said he was going to Scranton,” Nathan and Peter’s Mom said. “I knew he would end up here.” She looked at Karen. “Karen,” she says. She held out her arms. “It’s been so long.” Nathan and Peter’s Mom embraced Karen her, cheek against Karen’s cheek. Karen was too stunned to move. She looked at Nathan and Peter’s Mom’s shoulder for a moment and then patted her back.
“Um,” Karen said. “Do I know you?”
“Of course, dear,” Nathan and Peter’s Mom said. “I’m Mrs Angela Petrelli - your mother.”
Karen’s mouth fell open. She quickly covered it with her hand.
“Wait,” Jim said. “I’ve met Karen’s mother…”
“I’m adopted,” Karen said, her voice so quiet she could barely hear herself.
“Yes, dear,” Mrs Petrelli said. “Your father and I understood that there were people who would want to get their hands on our children if they found out about them. The boys didn’t show signs until they were older. But you, Karen - well, I first thought it was strange when I got so tired after holding you. Then you put your fingers in the wall socket and came out unscathed. Then your father noticed how you could slow down the car engine while it was idling in the driveway.”
“So that’s why I get so tired when I sleep over your place,” Jim said. “You really do drain my energy.”
“Huh,” Karen said. She didn’t know whether to feel better or worse. She frowned. ”So, Peter is - Nathan and Peter are, my brothers?”
“Yes,” Mrs Petrelli said, smiling. “Welcome to the Petrelli family.”
“Oh my god,” Karen said. “My brothers are really hot! Wait - is it weird that I find my brothers hot?”
Peter looked at the ceiling. Nathan coughed and adjusted his tie. “I’m sure it’s perfectly normal,” Nathan said.
”I chose a good Italian family to take care of you,” Mrs Petrelli said. “At least your name would be reminiscent of ‘ Petrelli.’”
Peter rolled his eyes. “I bet that made all the difference,” he said. “At least Nathan thought his long lost daughter was dead.”
”And how come I don’t remember having a little sister?” Nathan said.
“I have a friend who fixes memories,” Mrs Petrelli said. She didn't have to explain. Nothing surprised the Dunder Mifflin employees anymore. “I’m sorry, Karen. I thought I was acting in your best interests.” She looked around the office. “I can see I was wrong.”
“It’s not so bad,” Karen said. “I brought in two new clients this week. And on Fridays Angela makes brownies.” They all looked at Angela’s empty desk. “I guess she won’t be doing that anymore.”
“What I don’t understand,” Jim said. “Is why you had to save Pam. I mean, why Pam?”
“There must be something special about her,” Peter said.
Everyone looked at Pam. Pam shrugged. “I can type 90 words a minute.”
“Well, I suppose - “
Peter didn’t get to finish. Michael came bounding through the door with his usual sense of good timing. “Hey, hey, everyone. Did you miss me? Anything happen while I was gone. Hey -“ He stopped when he saw Nathan. “You’re - “ He pointed a finger at Nathan, and then at Peter, and then Mrs Petrelli. “You’re Petrellis.”
“You know who they are?” Karen said incredulously.
“Of course,” Michael said. “The Petrellis are major shareholders in Dunder Mifflin. Also, Nathan here was voted sexiest politician by the readers of Teen Vogue.
“Even I didn’t know about that one,” Nathan said, looking at Michael like he was painted green. Fortunately, Michael was used to people looking at him that way.
Michael smiled at Mrs Petrelli. “It’s wonderful that you’re here. Can I get you a seat? A woman of your years shouldn’t have to stand on her feet all day.”
“I’m fine,” Mrs Petrelli said icily.
Michael got her a seat anyway and practically forced her to sit in it. Nathan and Peter’s eyes went wide. Karen smiled at them apologetically.
“So what brings you to Scranton?” Michael asked the Petrellis. “Heard about our special team, huh? Was it Jan who told you? Jan and I are dating, you know, Jan from Corporate? Really hot, long legs. You probably look at her and think, wow, bet she goes off like a firecracker in bed. Well, let me tell you…”
Michael suddenly went quiet. His mouth opened and closed like he was talking, but nothing came out. He looked just as confused about it as everyone else.
“Michael?” Jim said.
Michael put his hands over his hears and shouted. Nothing came out. Michael took a deep breath, filled his lungs and screamed, and still nothing came out.
“Oh, wow,” Pam said. She put her hand over her mouth.
“What is it?” Karen said.
“I -“ She looked at the Petrellis, and then at Karen. “I was just wishing Michael would shut up, and he did.”
“You mean- ?” Karen said.
“Yes,” Pam said. “I think I found my power.”
Karen looked around the room. “Try it on someone else.”
“Okay,” Pam said. “Hey, Kelly - which American Idol winner is the best?”
“Oh, well, clearly Kelly Clarkson, although everyone will say Fantasia, but after Kelly won it was just the same old songs over and over. And everyone else is trying so hard to be Christina but Kelly had her own voice, you know?”
“Nope, didn’t work,” Pam said.
Michael was intermittently opening and closing his mouth. He looked like a goldfish.
“Try me,” Jim said.
“Okay,” Pam said. “Say something.”
“I really hope we find out what happened to Dwight and Angela someday.” He shrugged. “Guess it didn’t work on me either.”
“Can you make Michael talk?” Karen said.
“I’ll try,” Pam said. She looked at Michael intently.
Michael opened his mouth and said, “Meeehhh. Oh, hey, I can talk again. Wow, that was like that time my step-father put a cushion over my face and…” Michael went quiet again. Pam grinned.
“I guess it’s just Michael,” Pam said.
Peter and Nathan looked at each other. “I don’t get it,” Peter said. “How does making Michael shut up save the world?”
“You have no idea,” Jim said.
*
Of course, a day at Dunder Mifflin wasn’t complete without a few questions from the documentary crew, and Karen had a lot to say, for a change.
“So, yesterday I met a guy from the future, and today I discovered I’m some kind of human circuit breaker. I thought about all the really cool super powers I could have been given - like flying and turning invisible - and I thought, well, how is flying going to help me get the toast out of the toaster when it’s stuck? So I guess it’s pretty cool.” Karen looked at the camera. “Will I keep working at Dunder Mifflin? Well, apparently, my new family has a mansion in New York - I’m going to visit on Saturday - and Peter said he could use me if he explodes, which is a pretty weird thing to say.” She shrugged. “But they’re a weird family. Jim wants to stay in Scranton in case Angela comes back. That’s Jim. Always has to be the hero.” She sighed. “But you know who the real hero is? Dwight. Angela would have gone crazy a lot sooner if not for Dwight. Looking at numbers day in and day out is enough to send anyone into a power surge, and Angela is pretty tightly wound at the best of times.”
Karen paused and looked thoughtful. “I hope they’re okay,” she said nodding. “I really do.”
End.
You Don’t Have to Be a Super Hero to Work Here, But It Helps
Heroes / The Office (Crossover, PG)
Author's Notes: Thanks to marinwood again, for being superfast and being into all my fandoms. This is written for the whackapetrelli Inappropriate Petrellis Challenge because every show needs a Petrelli.
And because Filippelli rhymes with Petrelli. Seriously, that's all it took.
Karen hated the rain in Scranton. It wasn’t like Stamford was all blue skies and sunshine, but every time it rained in Scranton it reminded Karen that she could have been living in New York drinking cosmos in trendy bars and going to the latest Off-Broadway shows starring hot Law and Order actors. Instead she’d followed her boyfriend to Scranton where the only time she saw someone famous was when they opened a shopping mall or dedicated a bypass, and even then it was usually a local congressman or radio personality.
She came for Jim, so it stood to reason that she was peeved when Jim insisted on sleeping alone because apparently sleeping with Karen made him really tired. And it wasn’t like they were up all night having sex or talking, it was just that Jim, apparently, woke up feeling 'drained’ and he decided it had something to do with Karen.
Nice. That was just the kind of sweet talk she wanted to hear from her boyfriend after a hard day at the office.
The Dunder Mifflin parking lot looked even more dismal in the rain. Karen searched under the passenger seat of her car for her umbrella and found it wasn’t there. She groaned and slumped in her seat, staring out at the water gushing down her windshield. There had to be a break eventually. Or maybe one of the other Dunder Mifflin employees would show up in the mean time and share their umbrella? She looked at her watch. She was already ten minutes late.
Fifteen minutes later it was still raining. Twenty minutes later and Karen decided the rain had eased enough for her to make a run for it. She opened the door and pulled her coat over her head. She figured she looked ridiculous but she had to get to work somehow.
"Karen Petrelli?" A dark figure stepped into her path. He was wearing a long dark coat and carrying a pack on his back. He looked dangerous, like he’d stepped out of a John Wu movie.
“That’s not my name,” Karen said. “I think you have the wrong person,"
"Karen Filippelli," he said. "I'm sorry. I forgot you changed your name."
Karen shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously. She didn’t like that the dark and dangerous looking guy with the soul patch knew who she was. "Who are you?"
"I'm Hiro. I'm from the future."
Oh, boy, she thought. Nut-job.
"The future, huh?” Karen said. “So tell me, am I still working at Dunder Mifflin in the future? Because if I am, I’d really like it if you just killed me now."
"Oh no," he said. "Your destiny does not lie in selling paper."
Karen smiled a little. Nut-job or not, that was the nicest thing anyone had said to her all week. "Okay,” she said. “So, what is my destiny?"
"You have to save the receptionist."
"Huh?" Karen blinked.
"Save the receptionist, save the world."
"Pam?" Karen said.
"That's all I can tell you," Hiro said. "I have to go."
"Why does Pam need saving?" The rain started getting heavier again. Karen wiped damp hair from her eyes with both hands. When she took her hands away, Hiro was gone. She looked around the parking lot, but there wasn’t a trace of him. Karen blinked water out of her eyes. "Weird," she said.
Karen was soaked by the time she got inside the office "No umbrella?" Pam said, as Karen hung her coat on the rack.
“Don’t go there,” Karen said.
"Hey, Karen," Jim said from his seat. He held up Karen's umbrella. "You left this in my car."
Karen groaned. She should have known it was Jim’s fault. He drove her crazy sometimes. She took the umbrella from him. "I hate you," she said. She went into the bathroom and dried herself off, fixed her face and hair in the mirror. The day was turning out to suck already. Karen hated Scranton.
Back at her desk, Karen could see Pam looked just fine; hardly in need of saving. Not that Karen intended on paying attention to the ravings of the lunatic in the parking lot, but it was like avoiding walking under a ladder if you could help it. Why tempt fate? It hardly hurt to check on Pam, even if it was just for peace of mind.
"So the weirdest thing happened in the parking lot this morning," Karen said, turning her chair toward Jim.
"Michael opened his door without scratching the car next to him?" Jim said.
"No," Karen said. She tried to remember if she’d parked next to Michael.
"Seriously, have you noticed no one takes the spot next to Michael if they can help it?"
Karen had noticed that. God, she was going to be so pissed if she had to get a new paint job on the Taurus. "This weird little guy stopped me and told me he was from the future and I was supposed to save the world."
Jim raised his eyebrows. "Wow," he said. "What did he smell like?"
"Smell?"
"Yeah, whisky, bourbon, vodka…?"
"He smelled fine," Karen said. "And he knew my name."
Jim frowned. "I don't like the sound of that…"
"The really strange part, was that he told me I had to 'save the receptionist, save the world.'"
"Oh, very funny," Dwight said, turning in his chair to face them.
"Don't you have something important to do, Dwight?" Jim said. "Like maybe there's something in accounting you want to check out?"
Dwight didn’t take the bait. "'Save the receptionist, save the world," Dwight said. "It's from a comic book called Ninth Wonders." He opened his bag, rummaged around inside, and pulled out a comic book. The cover of the comic book showed a highly stylised drawing of a man and a woman standing in the rain. The woman held her coat over her head, like a hood. The caption read: 'save the receptionist, save the world.' "Isaac Mendes is a very talented artist,” Dwight said. “Some would say a genius…"
"Give me that." Jim snatched the comic book from Dwight's hands and pointed to the woman. "Karen, that's you."
Karen looked closer. It was her hair, her coat, her car in the background. She gasped, and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Don't be ridiculous," Dwight said. He leaned over and looked at the comic book, looked up at Karen. “It looks nothing like her,” he said, but he didn’t sound convinced. He leaned back in his chair, looking vaguely disturbed.
"That's weird," Jim said.
Karen tried not to think about it. It was probably an elaborate prank, or something to do with the documentary. Still, later that day she wandered over to the reception desk, and leaned on the counter top. “So…” she said to Pam, trying to sound casual; just hanging out, same as always. “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Pam said.
“Okay…” Karen said, nodding. “So - nothing unusual going on?”
“Karen,” Pam said, sighing. “I heard about the comic book and the weird guy in the parking lot.”
”Oh,” Karen said.
“And I’m fine. I don’t need saving.”
Karen smiled nervously. “Of course, you don’t,” Karen said. “It’s probably someone’s idea of a joke.”
“Yeah,” Pam said. “Someone…”
Karen raised her eyebrows. “Do you know something?”
“Well - “Pam said. “You know how elaborate some of Jim’s pranks are…”
“He wouldn’t do that to me,” Karen said. “Would he?”
“Jim gets bored,” Pam said. “This is how he passes time.”
Karen thought about it. Jim did get bored. Really bored. I’m going to kill him slowly, Karen thought.
She waited until later, when they were cuddled up on the couch in her apartment watching the Daily Show. Jim loved Jon Stewart in a way Karen didn’t like to think about. It was a good time to catch Jim off guard.
“Jim,” Karen said. “You understand pranks are strictly off limits when it comes to your girlfriend, right?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jim said, not looking away from the television.
“Because sometimes you pull some pretty random stuff,” she said
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Jim said.
“That guy in the parking lot, for instance,” Karen said. “That was really random.”
“Hey,” Jim said, turning to look at Karen. “It wasn’t me.”
“Well, who was it?” Karen said. “Dwight?”
“That was my first guess,” Jim said. “Except it’s too - good.”
“It is not good!” Karen said. She crossed her arms and huffed.
“Sorry,” Jim said, shrugging. “But if it’s a prank, someone’s gone to a lot of thought. I know a good prank when I see one.”
Karen frowned. Jim wasn’t supposed to be impressed; he was supposed to be worried. “You’re not helping.”
”I know,” Jim said apologetically. “I just don’t know what else to say, Filippelli.” He yawned. “And I’m really tired.”
“You’re tired a lot lately,” Karen said.
“Yeah,” Jim said. “Weird.”
*
The empty reception desk was the first thing Karen noticed when she and Jim arrived at the office the next day.
”Where’s Pam?” Jim said to anyone that was listening.
Phyllis shrugged. “She hasn’t called,”
Dwight harrumphed. “Not even a phone call,” he said. “I will be reporting her to Michael as soon as he gets back from New York.”
Michael was in New York for two days on a manager’s training course which everyone assumed was Michael’s way of saying he was having a long weekend with Jan.
Dwight’s attitude changed an hour later when the clock struck ten and there was no sign of Pam or Angela.
“She could be lying on the side of the road dismembered,” Dwight said, wringing his hands. “She could be wandering the woods alone, unable to remember who she is.”
“It’s weird,” Jim said to Karen. “Pam and Angela.”
Karen stared at her computer monitor. She hadn’t typed a word all morning. “Yeah,” Karen said. She felt a creeping feeling of anxiety in her stomach. “Weird.”
“Can I help you?” Jim said.
Karen looked up to see who Jim was talking to. There was a visitor standing at the reception desk: dark, good looking, and definitely Italian. Karen wondered when they turned up the heating; the office just got a lot warmer.
“Are you looking for someone?” Karen said, getting out of her seat.
The visitor nodded toward Pam’s empty seat. “Am I too late?”
“Oh, no,” Karen said. “You’re right on time.”
The visitor frowned.
Karen cleared her throat. “I mean - I’m sorry, late for what?”
“The receptionist,” the visitor said. “Where is she?”
“Who knows?” Kelly materialised out of nowhere. “I mean, it’s like, she could have called, but she didn’t and we were all, well, that’s okay because Pam probably wouldn’t call. But then Angela didn’t show up and we were worried because Angela didn’t call either and Angela would call. I’m Kelly, by the way, and that jacket looks really great on you. What did you say your name was?”
The visitor looked at Kelly like she was a Martian. “I didn’t,” he said warily. “I’m Peter. Peter Petrelli.”
Karen’s eyes went wide. “Petrelli?”
“Yeah,” Peter said.
“The guy in the parking lot,” Karen said. “He called me Karen Petrelli.”
Peter narrowed his eyes and looked at Karen, like he was focusing. “Hiro,” he said.
“Right,” Karen said, nodding. “That was his name. He told me I had to - “
“Save the receptionist; save the world?” Peter said.
“Yes,” Karen said. “Exactly. And now Pam is missing.”
“If Hiro came to you, he must have had a reason,” Peter said. “Has anything weird happened to you lately?”
Karen looked around the office. Jim looked at Michael’s door. Kelly looked at Peter.
“Define ‘weird,’” Karen said.
“Have you noticed you could do - ah - things you couldn’t before,” Peter said.
Karen put her chin in her hand and looked at the floor. Last week she faked hypoglycaemia so Michael wouldn’t tell her about his neighbour trimming her rosebushes in a bikini. Michael rushed to Pam’s desk for candy and let Karen recuperate in the break room for the afternoon. Jim was impressed. “Not really,” she said. “But what does all this have to do with Pam?”
“Pam’s in trouble,” Peter said. “We need to…”
“Wait!” Dwight said, jumping up from his seat. He grabbed the comic book off his desk and opened it, holding it up so everyone could see. “You’re this guy!” Dwight pointed to a character in the comic book.
Everyone leaned in to take a closer look. The comic book character looked darker and meaner but there was definitely a resemblance to Peter.
“Can I see that?” Peter said, holding out his hand to Dwight. “It might contain a clue.”
The comic book story started with Hiro meeting Karen in the rain outside Dunder Mifflin. The rest of the story followed the Bad Guy: a hooded, cloaked character who roamed the streets at night, muttering to himself about revenge and justice. The final panel showed a young woman tied to a pole in a dark and empty room. She was wearing a pink jacket and sensible shoes; she looked terrified.
“That’s Pam,” Karen said, passing the comic book to Jim. Jim passed the comic book to Oscar, who passed it to Andy, who passed it to Ryan, who passed it to Kevin. They all nodded in agreement.
“So who’s the Bad Guy?” Karen asked.
“It could be Sylar,” Peter said, sounding doubtful. “But I don’t think so. The outfit isn’t his style.”
“Bad Girl,” Kevin said. Everyone looked at Kevin. “She’s got girl arms,” Kevin said.
Karen grabbed the comic off Kevin and took a closer look. The Bad Guy definitely had shapely arms. Karen held the comic book up to the light. In one panel it appeared the Bad Guy had long hair. It was a small drawing and the shadows were overstated, but the Bad Guy appeared to have long, white hair.
White, pale, blonde. “Angela!” Karen said. The Bad Girl is Angela.
“It’s not Angela,” Dwight said.
“It has to be,” Karen said. “It can’t be a coincidence that they’ve both gone missing.”
Everyone looked at each other in disbelief. Kelly covered her mouth with her hand.
“I always knew she was evil,” Phyllis said, shaking her head.
“No!” Dwight said suddenly. He tore the comic book out of Karen’s hands, and clutched it to his chest. “It’s not Angela.” He sat down at his desk again and stuffed the comic book in his drawer, locking it and putting the key in his pocket.
“Who’s Angela?” Peter said.
Dwight’s affair with Angela was a secret to everyone but Jim and, therefore, Karen. Karen had promised Jim she wouldn’t tell but now was hardly the time to keep confidences. Pam’s life was at stake and Karen didn’t know what Angela was capable of.
“Where is she?” Karen said, leaning across the desk and grabbing Dwight by the lapels. “Where is Angela?”
“How would Dwight know?” Phyllis asked.
”They’ve been having a secret affair,” Karen said.
Everyone gasped. Karen admitted she, too, was shocked when she heard. Dwight, Angela and sex where three ideas she never wanted have in the same thought process.
Jim carefully detached Karen’s hands from Dwight’s lapels. “Come on, Dwight,” Jim said gently. “Think about it; what would Batman do?”
“Batman?” Dwight said, looking up at Jim. “Batman is a bitter and twisted old man. Haven’t you read the Dark Knight Returns?”
Jim looked at Karen. Karen shrugged.
“What would Admiral Adama do?” Creed said.
Everyone looked at Creed. “What?” Creed said, holding up his hands.
Dwight nodded slowly. “The survival of humanity; that’s what’s important,” Dwight said, more to himself than anyone else. “This is not the time for personal ties.” He stood up suddenly. “I’ll take you there,” he said to Karen.
“I’m coming with you,” Peter said.
“Me too,” Jim said.
“Do you need a ride,” Kelly said to Peter. “Because you can come with me and - ah - whatsisname.”
”Whatsisname?” Jim said.
”I think she means me,” Ryan said.
“Peter is coming with us,” Karen said. She grabbed Peter’s arm and steered him toward the door, before Kelly could protest. Kelly had the tenacity of a terrier, and they didn’t have time to prise Peter away from Kelly’s vise-like grip.
They went in Jim’s car, Dwight giving directions from the passenger seat. “No,“ Dwight was saying to Jim. “When I said next left I mean the next left after the left we are about to pass.”
”Of course you did,” Jim said.
Peter and Karen sat in the back seat. “Actually,” Peter said to Karen. “I - ah - kind of know where we’re going.”
“Why didn’t you say?” Karen said.
”I can read minds,” Peter said. He nodded at Dwight. “I can read his mind. It’s just that - it’s really weird in there.”
“You can read minds,” Karen repeated. She’d heard everything this week. “So - what am I thinking now?”
”I’m very flattered,” Peter said. “But all that chocolate sauce would be messy.”
Karen stared at Peter in disbelief. “Wow,” she said. “And - um - sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Peter said. “If it’s any consolation, that other girl was imagining me in a tub of Jell-o wearing a loin cloth and wrestling Justin Timberlake.”
“Were you winning?” Karen said.
“It was too close to call,” Peter said.
*
Dwight lead them (eventually) to an abandoned warehouse two blocks from Angela’s apartment.
“How did you know about this place?” Karen asked Dwight as she got out of the car.
“We go here to make out,” Dwight said sadly.
“They both live at home with their parents,” Peter said to Karen and Jim. He looked at Dwight. “And I’m going to need a brain scrub to wash that image out of my head.”
“Peter can read minds,” Karen said to Jim.
“Right,” Jim said.
“He really can,” Karen said. “Show him,” she said to Peter.
Peter narrowed his eyes, and focused on Jim. “Oh, I’m emo?” he said to Jim. “You look like you just stepped out of a Death Cab for Cutie video.”
“Wow,” Jim said.
Ryan’s car pulled up and Ryan, Kelly, Kevin and Oscar got out. Phyllis, Creed, Meredith and Toby pulled up in a second car.
“Stanley didn’t come?” Jim said to Ryan
“I asked,” Phyllis said. “He said he preferred being tortured by Angela the usual way.”
Peter looked at the crowd forming and frowned. “What are all these people doing here?”
“We are really bored at work,” Jim said. “I mean really - “
“Yeah, I get it,” Peter said.
Dwight banged on the double-doors to the warehouse, his face pressed against the boarded-up windows. “Angela!” he yelled. “It’s me Angela.” He banged on the door harder. ”ANGELAAAA!!”
Karen decided to take matters into her own hands. She opened the trunk of Jim’s car, took out the tire iron, and wedged it between the doors. “Come on,” she said to Jim, as she levered the tire iron. “Give me a hand here.”
“Let me do it,” Peter said to Karen. “Stand back.” Peter stared at the doors, holding his hand out. The doors creaked and strained.
“What’s he doing?” Jim asked Karen.
“Opening the door,” Karen said. “I hope.”
The doors made a loud, screeching sound and then they both buckled, leaving a gap wide enough to walk through.
“What else can you do?” Karen said to Peter.
“A lot of things,” Peter said. “I mimic other powers.”
“So there are other people who can do what you do?”
“Yes,” Peter said. “And I think you’re one of them. That’s why Hiro came to you.”
“That’s crazy,” Karen said. “I just sell paper.”
“Everybody has to start somewhere,” Peter said.
Karen looked at the gap between the two doors. “Come on,” she said, nodding toward the entrance. “Let’s go in.”
Peter held her back. “Me first,” he said.
Peter slipped through the gap, and then motioned for Karen to follow. Karen went in after Peter, followed by Jim, Dwight and the rest of the office. Peter knew where he was going. He walked resolutely to the back of the warehouse, to where a strange glow emanated from the single window above the door of what was once probably the warehouse office.
“In there,” Peter said. He raised his hand, and focused on the door, the same way he had done outside.
“Wait,” Dwight said. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a key.
Peter gave Karen and Jim a look. Karen and Jim shrugged in unison.
Dwight opened the door. “Angela?” he said warily, slowly leaning around the door. He was immediately thrown to the floor by an unseen force, landing on his back. He twitched and kicked his legs a few times and then went unconscious.
Peter knelt down on the floor and checked Dwight’s pulse. “He’s okay,” Peter said. “Just stunned.”
“Stunned like tasered?” Karen asked.
“Maybe,” Peter said. “Something hit him with a lot power.” He closed his eyes, and looked like he was concentrating. “Angela,” he said, when he opened them again. He nodded at the partially open door. “Angela can control electrical currents in the air.”
“Cool,” Kevin said.
Jim looked at Dwight on the floor. “He’d be so impressed right now if he wasn’t unconscious.”
Peter stood up. “I’m going in,” he said.
“Me too,” Karen said.
“You can’t.” Peter said. “She’s dangerous. I can mimic her power, and I’ve got a few powers of my own, but I don’t know what she’ll do to you…”
“But I have to,” Karen said. “Hiro came to me, remember? Save the receptionist, save the world; isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”
“Help!” Pam’s voice called from behind the door. “Help me! She’s crazy!”
“Shut up!” Angela shrieked. The light emanating from the room grew suddenly brighter. Pam screamed.
“I’m going in too,” Jim said.
“No way,” Peter said shaking his head. “No one else gets hurt today.”
Karen looked at Jim. She didn’t want to think about what Jim was going to do if Angela zapped him. She didn’t even know what she was going to do, but at least she had soul-patch guy’s prediction on her side. What did Jim have?
Still, Karen thought, what if Jim was the reason she saved the receptionist? What if Jim had the power, and Hiro came to Karen because he knew Jim would come with her? What if she wasn’t dating Jim and Pam got killed because Jim and Karen never met? What if Karen went to the New York office instead, and then everyone at the Scranton office died because Angela killed them?
Karen’s head hurt.
“Try not to think about it so much,” Peter said to Karen.
“Come on,” Karen said, taking Jim’s arm. She looked at Peter resolutely. “We’re going in.”
“Okay,” Peter said. “But no one else.”
The others looked at each other, nodding in agreement. It turned out, only Karen and Jim were crazy enough to enter a room with an electrified Angela. Kelly leapt forward and threw her arms around Peter’s neck, kissing him on the cheek. “For luck,” she said, when she pulled away.
“I’m right here,” Ryan said.
Peter pushed the door open carefully, and they edged inside, one after another. At the far end of the room, Pam was tied to an exposed wooden beam, her hands above her head. Angela was wearing a black cloak with a hood that looked suspiciously like Dwight’s Halloween costume from last year. Electricity arced between her fingers, like spider webs. She scowled when she saw them.
“What now?” Karen said.
Peter held up his hand in a ‘we come in peace’ gesture. “Now, Angela, I know you’re angry -“
Angela looked at Jim and Karen. “Who’s he?” she said, inclining her head toward Peter.
“He’s here to help you, Angela,” Jim said.
“Do I look like I need help, Jim?” Angela shooting bolts of electricity into the air.
They all jumped. Karen grabbed Jim’s arm for support. “Why, Angela?” Karen said. “What has Pam ever done to you?”
Angela pulled herself up straight. “She borrowed my Bic Accountant Fine Point pen and never gave it back,” she said.
“I told you,” Pam said. “I lost it in the gap between the reception desk and the wall. I bought you a new one.”
“It’s not the same!”
“It was exactly the same!”
“It was NOT!” Angela said. She shot a bolt of electricity past Pam’s head. Pam pressed her lips together hard.
“She wouldn’t really kill Pam, would she?” Karen whispered to Peter.
Peter looked worried. “She’s pretty angry. She also seems to think Pam ruined Christmas.”
“Oh,” Karen said, looking at the ceiling. “How strange.”
“I can get her out of harm’s way,” Peter said. He held up his hand, but Angela was already ahead of him. She fired a bolt of electricity at Peter, hitting him square in the chest. Peter staggered back a couple of steps, and looks dazed, but he was fine.
“She didn’t hurt you?” Karen said, looking at Peter.
Peter looked confused. “I can regenerate,” he said. “Although it doesn’t usually happen this fast. Maybe it’s something to do with her.” He nodded at Angela.
Angela raised an eyebrow, and then she turned to Karen.
“No!” Peter said. He reached for Karen, but Angela got their first. A bolt of electricity sent Karen reeling backwards. She lost her balance, stumbled a little, but she didn’t fall. She righted herself, took a breath and blinked. “Woah,” she said.
Peter touched Karen’s arm. “You’re okay?” He said.
”Yeah,” Karen said. “What did you do?”
“It wasn’t me. It was you.” Peter smiled at Karen. “That’s how you save the receptionist.”
It took Karen a moment to realise what Peter was saying. Angela couldn’t hurt Karen and if Angela couldn’t hurt Karen, she couldn’t hurt Peter.
Karen had a plan. She grinned at Peter. Peter grinned back. “Let’s do it,” Karen said.
Karen ran across the room and threw herself in front of Pam. Peter stood in front of Jim. “Stay behind me,” Peter said to Jim. Peter held up in his hand, like he did when he was opening the outside doors, and lifted Angela into the air, landing her onto her back on the floor, pinning her there. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop her shooting out bolts of electricity in all directions. Karen covered Pam, holding her arms over Pam’s in case a stray electrical bolt caught them. It wasn’t safe to move.
“What now?” Karen said to Peter.
“I don’t know,” Peter said, as another electrical bolt hit him in the arm.
“ANGELA!”
The electricity stopped.
Karen turned around, and saw Dwight in the doorway. He looked disorientated and dishevelled, like he’d barely recovered from his shock.
“Dwight?” Angela said.
Dwight held up his hands. “Please don’t zap me, again.”
”I zapped you?” Angela said. She looked confused for a moment, and then she realised she wasn’t stuck to the floor anymore. She stood up.
Karen looked at Peter. Peter nodded. Karen carefully undid the ropes around Pam’s wrists.
“Come back to the good side, Angela,” Dwight said, moving toward Angela. “It’s not too late.”
The ropes around Pam’s wrists fell away and Pam rubbed the circulation back into her wrists. Karen lead her quietly toward the door. Jim and Peter went before them, treading softly.
“It’s too late for me, Dwight,” Angela said sadly.
“No,” Dwight says. “There is still good in you. I can feel it...”
Karen was the last out. She closed the door behind her gently.
“Come on,” Jim said, ushering everyone toward the double-doors. “Everybody out.”
They all walked quietly toward the exit, no one saying a word. Once everyone was outside, Peter straightened the doors behind them so they were closed once more.
It was only then that everyone let out their breath. “You saved my life,” Pam said to Karen. “Just like that guy in the parking lot said you would.” She threw her arms around Karen’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “My hero.”
Karen blushed. “It was nothing,” she said sheepishly, looking at the ground.
“We need to get out of here,” Peter said. “I don’t know how long that room will hold her.”
“What about Dwight?” Karen said.
“She won’t hurt him,” Peter said.
Karen smiled. Telepathy was pretty handy sometimes.
*
Back at the office, it seemed like everyone was completely wired, going over events again and again, and talking about how cool it was when Peter bent the doors or when Angela zapped Dwight. Kelly related the entire story for the benefit of Stanley who wasn’t there. Stanley said kept doing his crossword, occasionally looking up at Karen and saying, “Mmmhmm.”
Peter leaned against the reception, his hands in his pockets, like he wasn’t sure whether to say goodbye or make a quiet exit. Karen joined him.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she told him.
“Yeah, you could,” Peter said. “But you’ll have plenty of opportunity to prove that in the future.”
“I guess it doesn’t wear off,” Karen said.
“Not so much, no,” Peter said.
The doors opened and a man in an expensive suit walked into the office, saw Peter and immediately threw his arms around Peter’s neck. “Peter! You’re all right,” he said, burying his face in Peter’s hair. Peter embraced the man in the suit tightly, arms around his shoulders.
Karen raised her eyebrows. Kelly was going to be so disappointed when she found out Peter was gay.
“Uh, Karen - “ Peter said, pulling away from the man in the suit. “This is my brother, Nathan.”
“Oh,” Karen said, embarrassed. “Nice to meet you,“ she said to Nathan, holding out her hand.
“Likewise,” Nathan said. He had a low, throaty, bedroom voice that made Karen think of cognac, cigars, satin sheets and a lot of foreplay. She sure as hell hoped Peter wasn’t reading her thoughts right now.
Kelly was suddenly there again, holding out her hand to Nathan. “Hi,” she said, smiling widely.
And then Phyllis, Meredith and Oscar seemed to appear out of nowhere, all holding out their hands for Nathan to take, grinning stupidly.
“Uh, nice to meet you all,” Nathan said, in his low voice.
“Ohh…” Phyllis said. Kelly giggled. So did Oscar.
“You didn’t have to come,’ Peter said to Nathan.
“Yes, I did,” Nathan said. “Isaac drew this.” Nathan took out a Polaroid. Peter looked at it briefly and then gave it to Karen.
The Polaroid showed a painting of Peter with electricity ripping through him, his eyes rolling back in his head. “Wow,” Karen said. “That’s just how it happened…”
“Only you were there to save me,” Peter said.
“You saved my brother?” Nathan said to Karen. “I can’t thank you enough.”
He had dark eyes and the longest lashes Karen had ever seen. Her knees shook and her stomach did flip-flops. “Don’t mention it,” she squeaked.
“So does the - “ Jim made a gesture with his hand, mimicking the way Peter had opened the doors earlier. “- run in the family?”
Peter and Nathan exchanged a look. “Not exactly,” Peter said.
“More than you know,” a voice behind Peter and Nathan said.
Nathan and Peter turned around. Behind them was an older woman, dressed in Chanel and looking way too sophisticated for Scranton, let alone Dunder Mifflin.
“Mom?” Nathan said. “What are you doing here?”
“Peter said he was going to Scranton,” Nathan and Peter’s Mom said. “I knew he would end up here.” She looked at Karen. “Karen,” she says. She held out her arms. “It’s been so long.” Nathan and Peter’s Mom embraced Karen her, cheek against Karen’s cheek. Karen was too stunned to move. She looked at Nathan and Peter’s Mom’s shoulder for a moment and then patted her back.
“Um,” Karen said. “Do I know you?”
“Of course, dear,” Nathan and Peter’s Mom said. “I’m Mrs Angela Petrelli - your mother.”
Karen’s mouth fell open. She quickly covered it with her hand.
“Wait,” Jim said. “I’ve met Karen’s mother…”
“I’m adopted,” Karen said, her voice so quiet she could barely hear herself.
“Yes, dear,” Mrs Petrelli said. “Your father and I understood that there were people who would want to get their hands on our children if they found out about them. The boys didn’t show signs until they were older. But you, Karen - well, I first thought it was strange when I got so tired after holding you. Then you put your fingers in the wall socket and came out unscathed. Then your father noticed how you could slow down the car engine while it was idling in the driveway.”
“So that’s why I get so tired when I sleep over your place,” Jim said. “You really do drain my energy.”
“Huh,” Karen said. She didn’t know whether to feel better or worse. She frowned. ”So, Peter is - Nathan and Peter are, my brothers?”
“Yes,” Mrs Petrelli said, smiling. “Welcome to the Petrelli family.”
“Oh my god,” Karen said. “My brothers are really hot! Wait - is it weird that I find my brothers hot?”
Peter looked at the ceiling. Nathan coughed and adjusted his tie. “I’m sure it’s perfectly normal,” Nathan said.
”I chose a good Italian family to take care of you,” Mrs Petrelli said. “At least your name would be reminiscent of ‘ Petrelli.’”
Peter rolled his eyes. “I bet that made all the difference,” he said. “At least Nathan thought his long lost daughter was dead.”
”And how come I don’t remember having a little sister?” Nathan said.
“I have a friend who fixes memories,” Mrs Petrelli said. She didn't have to explain. Nothing surprised the Dunder Mifflin employees anymore. “I’m sorry, Karen. I thought I was acting in your best interests.” She looked around the office. “I can see I was wrong.”
“It’s not so bad,” Karen said. “I brought in two new clients this week. And on Fridays Angela makes brownies.” They all looked at Angela’s empty desk. “I guess she won’t be doing that anymore.”
“What I don’t understand,” Jim said. “Is why you had to save Pam. I mean, why Pam?”
“There must be something special about her,” Peter said.
Everyone looked at Pam. Pam shrugged. “I can type 90 words a minute.”
“Well, I suppose - “
Peter didn’t get to finish. Michael came bounding through the door with his usual sense of good timing. “Hey, hey, everyone. Did you miss me? Anything happen while I was gone. Hey -“ He stopped when he saw Nathan. “You’re - “ He pointed a finger at Nathan, and then at Peter, and then Mrs Petrelli. “You’re Petrellis.”
“You know who they are?” Karen said incredulously.
“Of course,” Michael said. “The Petrellis are major shareholders in Dunder Mifflin. Also, Nathan here was voted sexiest politician by the readers of Teen Vogue.
“Even I didn’t know about that one,” Nathan said, looking at Michael like he was painted green. Fortunately, Michael was used to people looking at him that way.
Michael smiled at Mrs Petrelli. “It’s wonderful that you’re here. Can I get you a seat? A woman of your years shouldn’t have to stand on her feet all day.”
“I’m fine,” Mrs Petrelli said icily.
Michael got her a seat anyway and practically forced her to sit in it. Nathan and Peter’s eyes went wide. Karen smiled at them apologetically.
“So what brings you to Scranton?” Michael asked the Petrellis. “Heard about our special team, huh? Was it Jan who told you? Jan and I are dating, you know, Jan from Corporate? Really hot, long legs. You probably look at her and think, wow, bet she goes off like a firecracker in bed. Well, let me tell you…”
Michael suddenly went quiet. His mouth opened and closed like he was talking, but nothing came out. He looked just as confused about it as everyone else.
“Michael?” Jim said.
Michael put his hands over his hears and shouted. Nothing came out. Michael took a deep breath, filled his lungs and screamed, and still nothing came out.
“Oh, wow,” Pam said. She put her hand over her mouth.
“What is it?” Karen said.
“I -“ She looked at the Petrellis, and then at Karen. “I was just wishing Michael would shut up, and he did.”
“You mean- ?” Karen said.
“Yes,” Pam said. “I think I found my power.”
Karen looked around the room. “Try it on someone else.”
“Okay,” Pam said. “Hey, Kelly - which American Idol winner is the best?”
“Oh, well, clearly Kelly Clarkson, although everyone will say Fantasia, but after Kelly won it was just the same old songs over and over. And everyone else is trying so hard to be Christina but Kelly had her own voice, you know?”
“Nope, didn’t work,” Pam said.
Michael was intermittently opening and closing his mouth. He looked like a goldfish.
“Try me,” Jim said.
“Okay,” Pam said. “Say something.”
“I really hope we find out what happened to Dwight and Angela someday.” He shrugged. “Guess it didn’t work on me either.”
“Can you make Michael talk?” Karen said.
“I’ll try,” Pam said. She looked at Michael intently.
Michael opened his mouth and said, “Meeehhh. Oh, hey, I can talk again. Wow, that was like that time my step-father put a cushion over my face and…” Michael went quiet again. Pam grinned.
“I guess it’s just Michael,” Pam said.
Peter and Nathan looked at each other. “I don’t get it,” Peter said. “How does making Michael shut up save the world?”
“You have no idea,” Jim said.
*
Of course, a day at Dunder Mifflin wasn’t complete without a few questions from the documentary crew, and Karen had a lot to say, for a change.
“So, yesterday I met a guy from the future, and today I discovered I’m some kind of human circuit breaker. I thought about all the really cool super powers I could have been given - like flying and turning invisible - and I thought, well, how is flying going to help me get the toast out of the toaster when it’s stuck? So I guess it’s pretty cool.” Karen looked at the camera. “Will I keep working at Dunder Mifflin? Well, apparently, my new family has a mansion in New York - I’m going to visit on Saturday - and Peter said he could use me if he explodes, which is a pretty weird thing to say.” She shrugged. “But they’re a weird family. Jim wants to stay in Scranton in case Angela comes back. That’s Jim. Always has to be the hero.” She sighed. “But you know who the real hero is? Dwight. Angela would have gone crazy a lot sooner if not for Dwight. Looking at numbers day in and day out is enough to send anyone into a power surge, and Angela is pretty tightly wound at the best of times.”
Karen paused and looked thoughtful. “I hope they’re okay,” she said nodding. “I really do.”
End.