In the depths of my not so profound mind
So I've been sitting here in a computer POD reading everyone's journal entries and making comments for a while now. I've heard people come in and out. I've procrastinated about going back to my room and doing my homework. I've thought about a lot of things tonight.
Then, just before I began typing, I turned around to discover I'm the only one in the room. It's kind of a comfort. Yet the reason is contradictory. I mean, I know I'm posting the happenings in my life and my emotions on this for all the world to see, but for some reason I feel the need to be alone when I commit these things to writing. I guess I'm a more private person than I realize.
The heater/air conditioner in my room has now been switched from A/C only to heat only. Needless to say, it's been quite warm in the room lately. As if it wasn't already.
I wish I had a fake ID.
I wish I could embrace my age and not feel the need to be older.
David told his dad about me the other night. The funny thing is, David doesn't tell his parents about anything because of long ago events that caused him to be angry at his parents. So the fact that he has shared this information with his father makes me feel like I must be more a part of David's life than I realize. I think he's becoming more and more a part of mine.
Sometimes, David says things that make me think too much about the future. I know I make this sound negative, but it's not. I guess it just bothers me at times because of my fear that I might lose him.
I have to go home for Christmas break because I have nowhere to stay. I don't know how I'll survive it.
Hell, how will I survive the summer? Perhaps I should start making plans to stay in ABQ and take summer courses and such. Maybe I shouldn't bother to worry about these things until the time is nearer.
I procrastinate too much. About everything.
I want to know how to create cross-entries in my journals. I wonder if I can find the info somewhere in the help topics.
I love David so much. I wish I knew why I'm so afraid to express it sometimes. I mean, I'm not afraid to tell him or anything, but something holds me back. I don't know what's holding me or what I'm held from, but there's a strange barrier existing.
Sometimes, I think I'm being philosophical, and then I read the writing of someone else, and feel so uneloquent. Is this envy? I hope not. Although, I don't think I really view it that way. It just creates a desire within me to become better.
Hmm... that's enough sporadic thinking now.
Then, just before I began typing, I turned around to discover I'm the only one in the room. It's kind of a comfort. Yet the reason is contradictory. I mean, I know I'm posting the happenings in my life and my emotions on this for all the world to see, but for some reason I feel the need to be alone when I commit these things to writing. I guess I'm a more private person than I realize.
The heater/air conditioner in my room has now been switched from A/C only to heat only. Needless to say, it's been quite warm in the room lately. As if it wasn't already.
I wish I had a fake ID.
I wish I could embrace my age and not feel the need to be older.
David told his dad about me the other night. The funny thing is, David doesn't tell his parents about anything because of long ago events that caused him to be angry at his parents. So the fact that he has shared this information with his father makes me feel like I must be more a part of David's life than I realize. I think he's becoming more and more a part of mine.
Sometimes, David says things that make me think too much about the future. I know I make this sound negative, but it's not. I guess it just bothers me at times because of my fear that I might lose him.
I have to go home for Christmas break because I have nowhere to stay. I don't know how I'll survive it.
Hell, how will I survive the summer? Perhaps I should start making plans to stay in ABQ and take summer courses and such. Maybe I shouldn't bother to worry about these things until the time is nearer.
I procrastinate too much. About everything.
I want to know how to create cross-entries in my journals. I wonder if I can find the info somewhere in the help topics.
I love David so much. I wish I knew why I'm so afraid to express it sometimes. I mean, I'm not afraid to tell him or anything, but something holds me back. I don't know what's holding me or what I'm held from, but there's a strange barrier existing.
Sometimes, I think I'm being philosophical, and then I read the writing of someone else, and feel so uneloquent. Is this envy? I hope not. Although, I don't think I really view it that way. It just creates a desire within me to become better.
Hmm... that's enough sporadic thinking now.