hey guys!
Well i guess everything is okay...things are coming together....but as you all know, ryan has moved back in with his parents and him and whitney are over and everything like that, well last night i went over there for dinner and while his parents were gone at the store and we were watching Riley, he asked if we could go out again if i would give him another chance cause he knows how he feels now and wish he had never left me, and everything like that. Well, later on that night we had taken a walk while dinner was being cooked, and it felt..right. but when we got back we walked in and we got our dinner and had went into the next room to eat and watch TV and his mom asked where we had gone and asked if we went to Stephens and we said no we went to the park and she was like okay but if i were you guys i would keep it to yourselfs for awhile cause i dont want anything bad happening, and i didnt realize what she was talking about and i asked ryan and he said dont worry about it. well later i asked again what was she talking about and he said about us dating whitney starting shit and stuff like that, and he was like you know dont worry about it it doesnt bother me and i was like yeah except you dont have to go to school with it, and he said he was sorry and i said it was okay but in my mind i was thinking everything over and i realized yeah this could get bad, ya know? well anyway, everything after that was kinda awkward and made me think.
i still have really strong feelings for him and everything and besides misti and amber batson hes one of the closer people to me, and i feel like i have to keep myself and my relationship secret just because i dont want shit to hit the roof and especially when im the only one that could take the blunt of it because i go to the same school as whitney and everything like that, i dont know what to do it feels right and i have feelings for him still, but should we have waited? i mean i dont know what to do i have to hide it from my mom as well cause she told me not to get involved with someone right now because of the shit ive been through the last couple of months could have a effect on it, and i think she might be right you know im not over everything that happened i still have nightmares i still sit at home by myself and wonder why it happened and then cry because it did, it hurt emotional physically and everything and i dont know HOW to get over it. and then the other reason my mom didnt think it was a good idea to get involved with ryan again is because of whitney and the things they might say and the people who might stop talking to me just because of it and it would be harder for me to met people and get involved with things at school which i kinda thought about doing..i have an audition for Varsity choir today after school and i really want to make it i really want this sooo much, although i will always be a true hillcrester! (lol) i dont know what to do he seems sincere and i even talked to his mom and she said the last couple of times she has talked to him like talked talked she said that all he can think about was me and wished he had never broken up with me and that he wanted me back cause he missed it cause we had fun and things like that. i dont know what to do!!! HELP!!
please someone write back...actually everyone write back and i want what you honestly think, whether it hurts or not!
loves lots
mandi
i still have really strong feelings for him and everything and besides misti and amber batson hes one of the closer people to me, and i feel like i have to keep myself and my relationship secret just because i dont want shit to hit the roof and especially when im the only one that could take the blunt of it because i go to the same school as whitney and everything like that, i dont know what to do it feels right and i have feelings for him still, but should we have waited? i mean i dont know what to do i have to hide it from my mom as well cause she told me not to get involved with someone right now because of the shit ive been through the last couple of months could have a effect on it, and i think she might be right you know im not over everything that happened i still have nightmares i still sit at home by myself and wonder why it happened and then cry because it did, it hurt emotional physically and everything and i dont know HOW to get over it. and then the other reason my mom didnt think it was a good idea to get involved with ryan again is because of whitney and the things they might say and the people who might stop talking to me just because of it and it would be harder for me to met people and get involved with things at school which i kinda thought about doing..i have an audition for Varsity choir today after school and i really want to make it i really want this sooo much, although i will always be a true hillcrester! (lol) i dont know what to do he seems sincere and i even talked to his mom and she said the last couple of times she has talked to him like talked talked she said that all he can think about was me and wished he had never broken up with me and that he wanted me back cause he missed it cause we had fun and things like that. i dont know what to do!!! HELP!!
please someone write back...actually everyone write back and i want what you honestly think, whether it hurts or not!
loves lots
mandi