1 Samuel 15:25
[Gabriel had stayed in the palace, if only because his... well, his not-quite-himself-self had liked the opulence and grandeur of it, had liked the beasts that roamed the halls and growled at him when he hissed at them. He'd liked being king of the place, the rush through his veins...
But that had been before. Now the place seemed cold. There was the hint of blood and decay in the air, something unpleasant that when he woke up from the knot of sheets, he hated immediately. There was no bundle of Tudor monarch curled up against him, no half-finished and then abandoned cups of wine. There was nothing that felt familiar, or safe. And with the horrible uneasiness infested deep inside his Grace, the only thing Gabriel wanted at that point was the familiar.
He already knew she wasn’t there. He remembered that much. There was a lot that he remembered, because he couldn’t forget anything, even if he wanted to. It made him retch and shudder and hells, no wonder she wasn’t there.
And she probably didn’t want to see him, if she remembered everything as he did. The way he’d spat names at her, forced her to stay when she wanted to leave, mocked her and her pain. He was a bastard, worse than that.
But he couldn’t do without her.
[private audio to Elizabeth Regina]
Lizzie, love... I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that, I didn’t, I wasn’t myself. You know I wouldn’t hurt you, I wouldn’t, ever. I want you to come home. I mean, this is your home, without you it’s empty and... lifeless. Please. I won’t be here when you get back, if you don’t want me to be. I know I owe you a lot of apologies. I don’t know if there’s enough time for them. I just... I want you to know that none of what happened, none of what I said... I didn’t mean any of it.
[There’s a pause, and the silence is for the second or two it lasts, highly uncomfortable. The angel is trying to find words that will make it better, but he doesn’t know any. There’s only a handful of times he’s felt this guilty and this Fallen, this evil, and he doesn’t know if scrubbing himself of it will work. But he needs forgiveness of some sort, from her, from Dad. What the hell sort of angel is he?]
Just come back. This place needs you. I need you
But that had been before. Now the place seemed cold. There was the hint of blood and decay in the air, something unpleasant that when he woke up from the knot of sheets, he hated immediately. There was no bundle of Tudor monarch curled up against him, no half-finished and then abandoned cups of wine. There was nothing that felt familiar, or safe. And with the horrible uneasiness infested deep inside his Grace, the only thing Gabriel wanted at that point was the familiar.
He already knew she wasn’t there. He remembered that much. There was a lot that he remembered, because he couldn’t forget anything, even if he wanted to. It made him retch and shudder and hells, no wonder she wasn’t there.
And she probably didn’t want to see him, if she remembered everything as he did. The way he’d spat names at her, forced her to stay when she wanted to leave, mocked her and her pain. He was a bastard, worse than that.
But he couldn’t do without her.
[private audio to Elizabeth Regina]
Lizzie, love... I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that, I didn’t, I wasn’t myself. You know I wouldn’t hurt you, I wouldn’t, ever. I want you to come home. I mean, this is your home, without you it’s empty and... lifeless. Please. I won’t be here when you get back, if you don’t want me to be. I know I owe you a lot of apologies. I don’t know if there’s enough time for them. I just... I want you to know that none of what happened, none of what I said... I didn’t mean any of it.
[There’s a pause, and the silence is for the second or two it lasts, highly uncomfortable. The angel is trying to find words that will make it better, but he doesn’t know any. There’s only a handful of times he’s felt this guilty and this Fallen, this evil, and he doesn’t know if scrubbing himself of it will work. But he needs forgiveness of some sort, from her, from Dad. What the hell sort of angel is he?]
Just come back. This place needs you. I need you