(no subject)
Well, I have decided to update this crazy thing again. With so much going on in my life, I need to vent it somewhere. I have so many emotions running through my little self. What would have been Matts and my three year official anniversary is coming up on Monday. I have been thinking about him a lot lately... I don't know what has triggered it, but I have been. It started last Saturday when for whatever reason, I went into my closet, got out my Matthew Leary box, put one of the CDs he burned for me into my CD player, read his notes, and looked at pictures of us. Made me realize that we HAD something great. I have been going around telling everyone how Matt and I were just not meant to be, which is probably true. But I had been telling myself that Matt wasn't good for me, that I could do better, that things just fell apart. I guess all of these things are true, but regardless we had something great at one point in time. Matt was my first love, my first time, my first real best friend. Sure I have had lots of awesome friends, but never one who quite understood me or cared for me the way he once did. I don't miss Matt, I really don't, I just miss what he was in my life. He was a friend, a boyfriend, someone who I could be completely goofy around or serious, someone who always was there. I cried while going through the box and remembering. I guess it was good for me to go through everything one last time, I hadn't cried that hard in a long time though. Not since my grandpa died...
I miss him a lot to. My grandmother is coming down next week and staying for a while. She might even move in with us. This holiday season I just cant get into everything. Thanksgiving and Christmas are usually my favorite holidays in the whole world. But this year I have no grandpa, and no significant other. This will be the first holiday season since 8th grade without Matt.... and the first since forever without my grandpa :( * i cant help but being sad *
On a side note: I don't know about me and Matthew Cash. I like him a lot, and he gives me butterflies, but I don't think I know what I am doing. I don't know if I am ready to like someone, and if I am, I dont know if it is him. He sends mixed signals and I don't like that. Also .... i don't know, its so complex and frustrating ... we will see
As for School, I am about to die. This past week I had a chem test, an Ed test, and two online quizzes for Tech, I also had my evaluation for my practicum. This week coming up I have tons of stuff ... its unreal. I guess 21 credit hours has done me in. ... here is the list
Capstone proposal paper (3 pages, 5 sources)-due Monday
Career Exploration project - due Friday
Copyright Issues paper- due Tuesday
Presentation for Ed- Tuesday
Journal due for internship-Friday
Progress report for internship-Friday
Biology Test- Tuesday
Economics Presentation, stock market- Friday
Bio Lab- Practical Quiz- Friday
Webquest project- due Thursday
Chemistry Problem Set- Thursday
.......* I think thats everything *........
Wow, just typing it out makes me tired... oh well... we will see if i can pull it off
I cant wait for the game next weekend! It is gonna be awesome! Go Gators! i cant wait to see everyone, and i am very sad that didn't get to go to gator growl this weekend :(
I had the worst day of my life a few days ago, and I got in a car accident, ... comment for more info because I don't feel like typing the whole story out. I talked to Matt the other day, he said that him and Lindsey were "stronger than ever"... makes me a little sad, but overall i am glad he is happy. I just wish things were different sometimes,... most of the time I am happy for them though.
College apps... I really need to start and finish them. The only school I have applied to is UF and considering my chances are slim, I need to get in my other applications. I am sending apps to FSU, UCF, Auburn, Syracuse, IU, and maybe North Carolina... who knows? I think UCF is my second choice though. I wish i could afford auburn :(
Well, this has been a long entry, so I am off to bed. Oh and I talked to bryans room mate on the phone last night, I have never met the guy, but he is cool... and has good hair and eyes. Which is always a plus. Night guys...COMMENT!
I miss him a lot to. My grandmother is coming down next week and staying for a while. She might even move in with us. This holiday season I just cant get into everything. Thanksgiving and Christmas are usually my favorite holidays in the whole world. But this year I have no grandpa, and no significant other. This will be the first holiday season since 8th grade without Matt.... and the first since forever without my grandpa :( * i cant help but being sad *
On a side note: I don't know about me and Matthew Cash. I like him a lot, and he gives me butterflies, but I don't think I know what I am doing. I don't know if I am ready to like someone, and if I am, I dont know if it is him. He sends mixed signals and I don't like that. Also .... i don't know, its so complex and frustrating ... we will see
As for School, I am about to die. This past week I had a chem test, an Ed test, and two online quizzes for Tech, I also had my evaluation for my practicum. This week coming up I have tons of stuff ... its unreal. I guess 21 credit hours has done me in. ... here is the list
Capstone proposal paper (3 pages, 5 sources)-due Monday
Career Exploration project - due Friday
Copyright Issues paper- due Tuesday
Presentation for Ed- Tuesday
Journal due for internship-Friday
Progress report for internship-Friday
Biology Test- Tuesday
Economics Presentation, stock market- Friday
Bio Lab- Practical Quiz- Friday
Webquest project- due Thursday
Chemistry Problem Set- Thursday
.......* I think thats everything *........
Wow, just typing it out makes me tired... oh well... we will see if i can pull it off
I cant wait for the game next weekend! It is gonna be awesome! Go Gators! i cant wait to see everyone, and i am very sad that didn't get to go to gator growl this weekend :(
I had the worst day of my life a few days ago, and I got in a car accident, ... comment for more info because I don't feel like typing the whole story out. I talked to Matt the other day, he said that him and Lindsey were "stronger than ever"... makes me a little sad, but overall i am glad he is happy. I just wish things were different sometimes,... most of the time I am happy for them though.
College apps... I really need to start and finish them. The only school I have applied to is UF and considering my chances are slim, I need to get in my other applications. I am sending apps to FSU, UCF, Auburn, Syracuse, IU, and maybe North Carolina... who knows? I think UCF is my second choice though. I wish i could afford auburn :(
Well, this has been a long entry, so I am off to bed. Oh and I talked to bryans room mate on the phone last night, I have never met the guy, but he is cool... and has good hair and eyes. Which is always a plus. Night guys...COMMENT!