Blah blah blah.
Man, I don't know what it is--too much sugar, ADD, child hood encouragement, or crazy space demons--but when I get engrossed in my fictional worlds--I get really engrossed.
For that while, it's sort of all I focus on--I could stay in bed all day, staring up at the ceiling, daydreaming about the fictional lives of fictional characters--who in my head--never end.
It's nice. It was originally escapism. But I feel consumed by my own overactive imagination some times--and it's overwhelming. They blind me.
When I was in high school, these spurts of compulsive daydreaming--really affected my grades and performance in school. I couldn't focus on my material--when I was forced to, I'd stare at my assignment pages and just dream on.
That's the thing about day dreaming--There's no real way to regulate it.
Except with drugs.
But--how dull would the world be, if I couldn't dream awake anymore? Would my love for these characters and their lives dwindle? I think I develop these stories and ideas--out of a compulsory need to feel excited about something. My characters definately do that for me. With drugs taking care of that for me, would I still have any need for these fictional people, places, and scenarios?
I'm a little worried about it. I mean, for normal people, this would be no problem. Drugs--help you focus, do better in school, at work, and with your personal life--score! Right?
But for me--I've built a lot more on it. With the help of this weird inability to sustain normal levels of adrenaline, I've developed these worlds and stories that can feed it to me. The problem is, if my mind is on that, it's not on other 'important' things like school, work, or things at home. The drugs make sense--it's been proven that the drugs will help my type more than any other.
But I feel like I'm being faced with the potential of losing touch with these...fictional people who I've come to know so well--and grow so comfortable with.
It's weird to talk about it--I sound like a schizophrenic. But--these people and places--they've been with me for years and years and years. They've developed and become their own entities. And I don't want them to vanish. I don't want to lose interest. I don't want to stop visiting.
I just--know I visit them for a very rudimentary, subconscious reason. It fulfills a primary purpose to make up for a lack of natural regulation of chemicals in my brain. That's what I've been told.
It's weird. I mean, I need to pay attention to more "important" things--but what's important? Isn't it a little--subjective of a term? I built my life around these daydreams. My passion for illustration, my wish to graduate from art school, my choice in boyfriend, lifestyle, friends--it all stems from these overwhelming daydreams.
What would I be without them?
Man, I'm glad Calvin's parents never had him tested for ADD. Hobbes wouldn't be around for much longer. And Hobbes was the coolest part of that damn comic <3
For that while, it's sort of all I focus on--I could stay in bed all day, staring up at the ceiling, daydreaming about the fictional lives of fictional characters--who in my head--never end.
It's nice. It was originally escapism. But I feel consumed by my own overactive imagination some times--and it's overwhelming. They blind me.
When I was in high school, these spurts of compulsive daydreaming--really affected my grades and performance in school. I couldn't focus on my material--when I was forced to, I'd stare at my assignment pages and just dream on.
That's the thing about day dreaming--There's no real way to regulate it.
Except with drugs.
But--how dull would the world be, if I couldn't dream awake anymore? Would my love for these characters and their lives dwindle? I think I develop these stories and ideas--out of a compulsory need to feel excited about something. My characters definately do that for me. With drugs taking care of that for me, would I still have any need for these fictional people, places, and scenarios?
I'm a little worried about it. I mean, for normal people, this would be no problem. Drugs--help you focus, do better in school, at work, and with your personal life--score! Right?
But for me--I've built a lot more on it. With the help of this weird inability to sustain normal levels of adrenaline, I've developed these worlds and stories that can feed it to me. The problem is, if my mind is on that, it's not on other 'important' things like school, work, or things at home. The drugs make sense--it's been proven that the drugs will help my type more than any other.
But I feel like I'm being faced with the potential of losing touch with these...fictional people who I've come to know so well--and grow so comfortable with.
It's weird to talk about it--I sound like a schizophrenic. But--these people and places--they've been with me for years and years and years. They've developed and become their own entities. And I don't want them to vanish. I don't want to lose interest. I don't want to stop visiting.
I just--know I visit them for a very rudimentary, subconscious reason. It fulfills a primary purpose to make up for a lack of natural regulation of chemicals in my brain. That's what I've been told.
It's weird. I mean, I need to pay attention to more "important" things--but what's important? Isn't it a little--subjective of a term? I built my life around these daydreams. My passion for illustration, my wish to graduate from art school, my choice in boyfriend, lifestyle, friends--it all stems from these overwhelming daydreams.
What would I be without them?
Man, I'm glad Calvin's parents never had him tested for ADD. Hobbes wouldn't be around for much longer. And Hobbes was the coolest part of that damn comic <3