a day without life...
have you ever had one of those days where you just wished that you could up and leave? I havent had one of those in so long i almost forgot that they existed. well today was that day for me. well tonight really but whatever. i just realized that camp starts this weekend and once again i am not there. i really miss and tonight really makes me wish more than anything that i was up there. i would trade in anything right now to be up there with a new set of problems and no need to have contact with the outside world. i want to escape the life of responsibility for the first time in 3 years and run. i want to run somewhere that will allow me to just be for more than 10 minutes without my cell phone ringing. wouldnt that be nice? i want to be in a place where i dont have to hide how i really feel. i think that is the one thing about life that really gets to me. its all these games that people play. i would much rather be like ok this is how i feel and this is how you feel and make a decsion from there. but oh hell no life couldnt possibly be that easy. i guess if it was easy everyone would do it and it would lose its appeal. i guess im just bitter tonight b/c life just isnt going how i thought it would be. who the hell knows what is going on with me? im not even sure that i know anymore. one minute i want one thing and the next minute im just not sure anymore. who the hell knows? i just wish that i could have one day without all the shit. just one day...