which one of you assholes pissed in my cheerios?
why does every little thing piss me off?
we were having a nice day, i got to sleep in, my hair didn't misbehave, we headed to the mall to chill and do some christmas shopping...
and then BAM! there goes my good mood.
it doesn't make sense.
i mean it does to me.
but that's...ME. you know?
of course it's going to make perfect sense in my head.
and then it makes no sense at all to him.
it started with me not being hungry, i guess.
and then being left alone to wander.
i'm still sketchy about that place.
because of work and stuff.........i have to go back tuesday, so i guess i better get over that.
and now i finally AM starting to be hungry, but we only have an hour til the movie.
and of course he's gotta go sit in the bar and drink first, so he "doesn't overanalyze" the entire time.
overanalyze if you feel like it.
damn.
it's not like i care.
as long as you do it in your head.
cuz i really don't want my perception of the movie to be marred by your opinions.
but hey, if you absolutely HAVE to catch your mandatory buzz before sitting through a movie with me and having a nice time,
fine. so be it.
and of course when i bring that point up, I'M the one that's being a bitch.
i swear to god, it was almost easier dating women.
no, that's a lie.
women are so much more complicated than men.
i think it's when the men start acting like women that i start getting irritated.
i'm like 'i don't need anything for christmas. there's nothing i want that i can't go out and buy myself and do a lot better job at picking it out. just let me buy your presents and spoil you, and don't give me anything.'
but we both know my inner child would come out kicking and screaming and squirting out tears on christmas eve when she realized she had been left out of the gift loop.
so.
i'm sitting here, pissed off, being ignored because i pissed Him off, hungry but too stubborn to say so and have a mad rush to squeeze in dinner before the fucking movie we had to buy tickets for, and i haven't had a cigarette all fucking day.
i just bought a pack, but smoking would mean going out on the balcony in the wind and possibly rain.
it would also mean the possibility of being followed out there and asked to bum one.
buy your own.
damn.
i'm such a bitch today.
i wish i could just shake my limbs out like i was having a seizure and all my pent up frustration would be gone.
because you KNOW tomorrow morning i'm going to wake up and He will be gone and i'll cry because i couldn't find a better way to spend the day than being pissed off at him.
and april still looms in the distance.
like a big scary cave.
what if i really can't take it?
my life is literally at stake here.
and nobody understands how serious a statement that is but me.
WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS "LIFE" THING SO GODDAMN HARD???
cross your fingers for me.
i'm off to try and tame the beast i created.
namaste.
Ray
we were having a nice day, i got to sleep in, my hair didn't misbehave, we headed to the mall to chill and do some christmas shopping...
and then BAM! there goes my good mood.
it doesn't make sense.
i mean it does to me.
but that's...ME. you know?
of course it's going to make perfect sense in my head.
and then it makes no sense at all to him.
it started with me not being hungry, i guess.
and then being left alone to wander.
i'm still sketchy about that place.
because of work and stuff.........i have to go back tuesday, so i guess i better get over that.
and now i finally AM starting to be hungry, but we only have an hour til the movie.
and of course he's gotta go sit in the bar and drink first, so he "doesn't overanalyze" the entire time.
overanalyze if you feel like it.
damn.
it's not like i care.
as long as you do it in your head.
cuz i really don't want my perception of the movie to be marred by your opinions.
but hey, if you absolutely HAVE to catch your mandatory buzz before sitting through a movie with me and having a nice time,
fine. so be it.
and of course when i bring that point up, I'M the one that's being a bitch.
i swear to god, it was almost easier dating women.
no, that's a lie.
women are so much more complicated than men.
i think it's when the men start acting like women that i start getting irritated.
i'm like 'i don't need anything for christmas. there's nothing i want that i can't go out and buy myself and do a lot better job at picking it out. just let me buy your presents and spoil you, and don't give me anything.'
but we both know my inner child would come out kicking and screaming and squirting out tears on christmas eve when she realized she had been left out of the gift loop.
so.
i'm sitting here, pissed off, being ignored because i pissed Him off, hungry but too stubborn to say so and have a mad rush to squeeze in dinner before the fucking movie we had to buy tickets for, and i haven't had a cigarette all fucking day.
i just bought a pack, but smoking would mean going out on the balcony in the wind and possibly rain.
it would also mean the possibility of being followed out there and asked to bum one.
buy your own.
damn.
i'm such a bitch today.
i wish i could just shake my limbs out like i was having a seizure and all my pent up frustration would be gone.
because you KNOW tomorrow morning i'm going to wake up and He will be gone and i'll cry because i couldn't find a better way to spend the day than being pissed off at him.
and april still looms in the distance.
like a big scary cave.
what if i really can't take it?
my life is literally at stake here.
and nobody understands how serious a statement that is but me.
WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS "LIFE" THING SO GODDAMN HARD???
cross your fingers for me.
i'm off to try and tame the beast i created.
namaste.
Ray