Comments | mamamoomoo: Some "Attachment Parenting" questions

mamamoomoo

Some "Attachment Parenting" questions

Oct 12, 2009 19:26

By definition, is a person absolutely not into attachment parenting if they dont believe CIO is 10000% evil, but only 99.9999% bad?
Arent there more aspects to attachment parenting besides being anti CIO?
I got flayed alive on an attachment parenting board for saying that I don't have an issue if my son cries when he insists on sleeping in my bed, ( Read more... )

controversial, parenting

Comments 19

little_e_ October 12 2009, 19:48:23 UTC

The difference is largely a matter of the child's development and ability to understand. An infant has needs, not wants, and cannot speak English--crying is how they talk. CIO is used to stop babies from crying by ignoring them until they stop crying, usually in the service of getting the baby to do something they're not otherwise developmentally ready for, such as sleeping through the night. Eventually it 'works' because the baby gives up trying to communicate his needs ( ... )

mamamoomoo October 12 2009, 20:01:25 UTC

Right. But then even if you do a real "Cry it out" with a toddler (and not my very watered down version), it doesnt fit the same category as cry it out with a baby who does not understand.
At the age of 2, if you let your kid cry it out, I don't see how that is very different than his tempter tantrum about wanting to do things a certain way- his way. Like when he wants to insist on coming in to the bathroom with me. I say No! He has a meltdown. He wants to play with fire. I say No! He has a meltdown. He wants to wear short sleeves on a winter day. I insist on putting him in weather appropriate clothing. He as a melt down. He wants to sleep in my bed. I say No! He has a meltdown.
I don't see how at this age, that last example is so different from all the other causes of meltdowns...

little_e_ October 12 2009, 23:32:19 UTC

Tantrums don't last for 3 hours. That's what folks are objecting to. They're unpleasant, but not that long.

mamamoomoo October 13 2009, 04:33:07 UTC

It wasnt 3 hours straight. It was some time, and then we'd say something comforting again, and then the melt down would resume.
And yes, with a strong willed enough child, tantrums CAN last that long...

strega_mama October 12 2009, 23:03:21 UTC

i'm going to be honest here: if you are in any way ok with any sort of letting your kid cry, you are NOT using attachment parenting. sorry, you're not. it is one of the basic tenements of what makes us AP. i'm guessing you're jewish? it would be like a guy coming into a jewish forum and saying "i'm not circ'ed, but i'm still jewish" if that makes it clearer for you.

little_e_ October 12 2009, 23:33:03 UTC

I've known non-circed Jews.

strega_mama October 13 2009, 00:05:03 UTC

lol. sorry, judeo-christian allegories aren't my strong suit, i was trying to make it relevent >_<;

trempnvt October 13 2009, 10:35:00 UTC

mamamoomoo isn't a "Judeo-Christian"--she's a Jew. Plus, as far as I know, circumcision isn't even a part of Christianity, so I'm not sure why you felt that term was appropriate.

Thread 14

sharya October 13 2009, 02:40:42 UTC

I think where people are having their eyes glaze over here, is your actual use of the term CIO ( ... )