Was wondering what you all thought.
When I'm in the park with my son, I sometimes see other kids fighting with him/him fighting with other kids. He's 2. They're either his age or older, and more likely than not, they speak hebrew, a language that he doesnt really understand.
When I want to go intervene, to help resolve the disputes, my friends chide me and say "The playground is where kids learn about the rules of life. I hit someone, they'll hit me back, so its not a good idea to hit. Etc... Let your kid figure it out on his own. You don't need to intervene- he can learn to handle this on his own."
I have issues with that; kids don't learn proper behavior by watching other kids behave (or rather, misbehave). They learn by watching how adults handle situations.
But at the same time, I don't want to be an interfering mom who doesnt show enough confidence in her kid's ability to solve issues on his own.
What do you suggest is the ideal method with dealing with this playground rivalry? Stand back? Intervene somewhat- and if so, to what extent? And how would you respond to these parents who are chastising you for intervening, calling you an "overprotective parent"?
Question 2:
What is the line between picking your battles wisely with your children and maintaining control?
I don't want to make everything a fight with my son. There are certain things he doesnt want, or wants to do, and I dont want to fight about everything with him, so I let him make a lot of decisions on his own. Like, my friend saw my son with hair in his eyes. She asked why he wasnt wearing a pony tail. I said "He doesnt let me put ponytails in his hair." She was aghast. "What do you mean, he doesnt let? You're the mom. You decide. Don't let him control you."
See, I don't think I'm letting him be in control. I just dont find a need to fight with him about every last thing. If he doesnt want a ponytail, fine, so what? I don't care. But if he wants to do something dangerous, absolutely I'll set my foot down. And when he doesnt want to go to sleep, I say "I'm sorry, now is bed time" and don't let him convince me otherwise. And when he doesnt want to get dressed, I put my foot down and say "No, you're getting dressed" and get him dressed, despite his protests.
I don't want to be one of those parents who quashes their kid's will completely, forms them into a clone of themselves and doesnt let them have a differing opinion. I want to let my child make his own decisions (age appropriate, of course) and then deal with the consequences.
Yet it seems like I don't have my husband completely on board with my methods. Like he'll come in to the house and say "Why are the tapes out?" and I'll say "Our son was playing with them." He'll ask me why I let him, and I answer bec I didn't think it was worth fighting over. Or the same when my husband sees my son playing with my kitchen equipment (pots, spoons, measuring cups, etc...) I dont see a reason to cause a fight over such stuff. When something means a lot to me, or is dangerous, or whatever, I put my foot down, but otherwise, I let my son decide what he wants.
Am I letting my son "rule the house"? Or am I giving him enough limits for his own benefit, but not stifling his independence and creativity? Where do you draw the line of maintaining control of the house but not being too domineering and dictatorial?
When I want to go intervene, to help resolve the disputes, my friends chide me and say "The playground is where kids learn about the rules of life. I hit someone, they'll hit me back, so its not a good idea to hit. Etc... Let your kid figure it out on his own. You don't need to intervene- he can learn to handle this on his own."
I have issues with that; kids don't learn proper behavior by watching other kids behave (or rather, misbehave). They learn by watching how adults handle situations.
But at the same time, I don't want to be an interfering mom who doesnt show enough confidence in her kid's ability to solve issues on his own.
What do you suggest is the ideal method with dealing with this playground rivalry? Stand back? Intervene somewhat- and if so, to what extent? And how would you respond to these parents who are chastising you for intervening, calling you an "overprotective parent"?
Question 2:
What is the line between picking your battles wisely with your children and maintaining control?
I don't want to make everything a fight with my son. There are certain things he doesnt want, or wants to do, and I dont want to fight about everything with him, so I let him make a lot of decisions on his own. Like, my friend saw my son with hair in his eyes. She asked why he wasnt wearing a pony tail. I said "He doesnt let me put ponytails in his hair." She was aghast. "What do you mean, he doesnt let? You're the mom. You decide. Don't let him control you."
See, I don't think I'm letting him be in control. I just dont find a need to fight with him about every last thing. If he doesnt want a ponytail, fine, so what? I don't care. But if he wants to do something dangerous, absolutely I'll set my foot down. And when he doesnt want to go to sleep, I say "I'm sorry, now is bed time" and don't let him convince me otherwise. And when he doesnt want to get dressed, I put my foot down and say "No, you're getting dressed" and get him dressed, despite his protests.
I don't want to be one of those parents who quashes their kid's will completely, forms them into a clone of themselves and doesnt let them have a differing opinion. I want to let my child make his own decisions (age appropriate, of course) and then deal with the consequences.
Yet it seems like I don't have my husband completely on board with my methods. Like he'll come in to the house and say "Why are the tapes out?" and I'll say "Our son was playing with them." He'll ask me why I let him, and I answer bec I didn't think it was worth fighting over. Or the same when my husband sees my son playing with my kitchen equipment (pots, spoons, measuring cups, etc...) I dont see a reason to cause a fight over such stuff. When something means a lot to me, or is dangerous, or whatever, I put my foot down, but otherwise, I let my son decide what he wants.
Am I letting my son "rule the house"? Or am I giving him enough limits for his own benefit, but not stifling his independence and creativity? Where do you draw the line of maintaining control of the house but not being too domineering and dictatorial?