Agita
Day 6 without a functioning furnace.
The space heater keeps the Patrizia-torium at 65°, which is what I would set the thermostat at if the furnace was working, so I am in no danger of freezing to death.
Mostly, I feel humiliated by my own powerlessness in this situation.
Iggy is a monstrously self-absorbed creep, and the thought that he has power over me is absolutely galling.
He’s not being malicious per se. It’s just clear my needs & comfort are not important to him in the slightest. I do not matter! I’m a piece of lint.
This is an awful reality to live with. That someone who owes me-not me as a unique individual but anyone who enters into this sort of contract-a duty of care and then can blatantly ignore that duty of care without repercussions underscores how cruel the world is and how absolutely insignificant I am.
Being reminded of one’s own insignificance can be helpful from time to time. But having your face shoved into it is merely depressing.
I did call Ulster County Legal Aid Services this morning to see what my options are. I am waiting for a call back.
In the meantime, I have a shitload of work to do, so I must ramp down the agita and get to it.
The space heater keeps the Patrizia-torium at 65°, which is what I would set the thermostat at if the furnace was working, so I am in no danger of freezing to death.
Mostly, I feel humiliated by my own powerlessness in this situation.
Iggy is a monstrously self-absorbed creep, and the thought that he has power over me is absolutely galling.
He’s not being malicious per se. It’s just clear my needs & comfort are not important to him in the slightest. I do not matter! I’m a piece of lint.
This is an awful reality to live with. That someone who owes me-not me as a unique individual but anyone who enters into this sort of contract-a duty of care and then can blatantly ignore that duty of care without repercussions underscores how cruel the world is and how absolutely insignificant I am.
Being reminded of one’s own insignificance can be helpful from time to time. But having your face shoved into it is merely depressing.
I did call Ulster County Legal Aid Services this morning to see what my options are. I am waiting for a call back.
In the meantime, I have a shitload of work to do, so I must ramp down the agita and get to it.