(no subject)
First of all..... WANT. (god i love her.)
Secondly, I am way off kilter today. I went to bed really early last night, especially for a weekend. For a SATURDAY. So today I got up around nine, puttered about, worked on some projects, spent the last of my money for the week on a few groceries, stuff and things.
And I began the process of setting up my fetlife account. There's nothing there, at ALL, so don't even bother looking. I'm still somewhere in that "I might chicken out completely" realm, because it's a little scary for me. I think it's amusing that I'm worried about judgement (best thing I can boil it down to) from one of the most accepting groups of degenerates on the social scene.
Kinksters - I love them, and fear them! But... kind of in a good way. :D I know no-one cares how much of a noob I am, we all have to start somewhere, but I guess I just feel like I want a little handholding or something. I think part of my problem is that I have to think of it as a social networking type place, not a hookup page like adultfriendfinder, and I just haven't quite gotten my head around it.
I mean, shit, do I call myself bisexual, because I have for years, or do I call myself pansexual, because that's really closer to the truth, but also sort of off the mark in emotional ways? Does saying the former limit me to a box that I sometimes feel ashamed to be in? Does saying the latter label me as snobby because the term is so underused in general?
I consider myself to be pretty sexually liberated, so this nervousness is bugging me, I guess, because it's so trivial. I suppose it's one thing to talk about myself and my sexual exploits somewhere that I can control who sees it, but another to put it in a space where anyone in the entire world who takes the time to make up a membership can see whatever I post there - pictures/words/interests, etc.
Yadda yadda yadda.
So like I said, feeling a bit off today, this is probably just a symptom.
I'm sort of lonely today. I guess part of me misses just having someone around to lay my burdens on, someone I might run into accidentally instead of having to plan everything out.
More than anything, I miss having a pet, just something living which will be affectionate with me but doesn't require me to think too much or explain myself.
I almost want to go downstairs and birdnap my neighbors' parakeet. When I whistle at him, he whistles back. It makes me smile.
Aaaaaanyway. On top of that, I'm also freakin' sore all over, especially in my core region. Ow. Overworked, overbruised, ready for more in a few days. The next step will, theoretically, involve painting, if I can get myself into the right mindframe. Ugh. We shall see.
Maybe I just need to go for a bikeride. There's a thought. I have too much unfocused energy bouncing around under my skin - it's giving me cabin-fever.
Secondly, I am way off kilter today. I went to bed really early last night, especially for a weekend. For a SATURDAY. So today I got up around nine, puttered about, worked on some projects, spent the last of my money for the week on a few groceries, stuff and things.
And I began the process of setting up my fetlife account. There's nothing there, at ALL, so don't even bother looking. I'm still somewhere in that "I might chicken out completely" realm, because it's a little scary for me. I think it's amusing that I'm worried about judgement (best thing I can boil it down to) from one of the most accepting groups of degenerates on the social scene.
Kinksters - I love them, and fear them! But... kind of in a good way. :D I know no-one cares how much of a noob I am, we all have to start somewhere, but I guess I just feel like I want a little handholding or something. I think part of my problem is that I have to think of it as a social networking type place, not a hookup page like adultfriendfinder, and I just haven't quite gotten my head around it.
I mean, shit, do I call myself bisexual, because I have for years, or do I call myself pansexual, because that's really closer to the truth, but also sort of off the mark in emotional ways? Does saying the former limit me to a box that I sometimes feel ashamed to be in? Does saying the latter label me as snobby because the term is so underused in general?
I consider myself to be pretty sexually liberated, so this nervousness is bugging me, I guess, because it's so trivial. I suppose it's one thing to talk about myself and my sexual exploits somewhere that I can control who sees it, but another to put it in a space where anyone in the entire world who takes the time to make up a membership can see whatever I post there - pictures/words/interests, etc.
Yadda yadda yadda.
So like I said, feeling a bit off today, this is probably just a symptom.
I'm sort of lonely today. I guess part of me misses just having someone around to lay my burdens on, someone I might run into accidentally instead of having to plan everything out.
More than anything, I miss having a pet, just something living which will be affectionate with me but doesn't require me to think too much or explain myself.
I almost want to go downstairs and birdnap my neighbors' parakeet. When I whistle at him, he whistles back. It makes me smile.
Aaaaaanyway. On top of that, I'm also freakin' sore all over, especially in my core region. Ow. Overworked, overbruised, ready for more in a few days. The next step will, theoretically, involve painting, if I can get myself into the right mindframe. Ugh. We shall see.
Maybe I just need to go for a bikeride. There's a thought. I have too much unfocused energy bouncing around under my skin - it's giving me cabin-fever.